I am 22 and never have been able to have an orgasm. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he's starting to back off now because he feels he can't make me happy and it dissapoints him that he can't make me climax. Its not him its me, I feel comfortable I want to I just cant. What do I do? Please help!

Are you concentrating hard on doing so? Have you ever reached it by yourself? Have you seen a gynecologist about this problem?

If you can't give yourself one... how can you expect him to.

I suggest learning your body... what works for you and what doesn't. Once you know (and its mostly mental in a woman) then you would be able to guide him into knowing what makes you tick.

Its all about getting into the right mental state... having the right stimulation, and being relaxed enough for it to happen. If you lack any of those three at any given time then its going to be exceptionally difficult to achieve.

There is no one size fits all answers here... every women has her own likes and dislikes. You have to discover your own.

I assume you don't know how to get yourself there either, make sure he knows this... that it's not some huge race to prove himself to be the first and only one to make you have one. It might feel like a lot of pressure for him with that in the back of his mind whenever you two have sex, so he begins to back off to avoid that stress... you may even be putting pressure on yourself about it too? Wondering what's wrong with you or trying really hard to make it happen every time... you guys need to focus on relaxing those nerves!
I advise having a sit down heart to heart. Assure him how much you love him and how sex isn't always entirely about the orgasm end point! Making sex a goal oriented thing sort of saps it of the fun... the whole thing is a journey, the closeness that passionate feeling is all a big part of it and a fun part too. Ask what he wants to do and say what you want to do about it...
Do some research on books about orgasms and pick some up, or go straight to the sex shop together and search out what stuff catches your eye. It's very important to make sure he knows it's not an uncommon thing... and if you didn't know that too, LOTS of women have trouble having an orgasm! We have 10 different ways we can orgasm, not just vaginally! It's a fascinating subject one which I hope both you and your partner can delve into together and explore... He has different ways he can orgasm too, not just the one haha
So if you don't know how to get yourself there try that out (if you do tell him how! ), talk with him about what you like and don't like to have done to you... figure it out together, it's not anyone's fault it can just take some time is all. I really hope you both manage to remove the blame from yourselves!
Good luck!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CMALori

I am 22 and never have been able to have an orgasm. I have been with my bf for 3 years and hes starting to back off now because he feels he can't make me happy and it dissapoints him that he can't make me climax. Its not him its me, i feel comfortable i want to i just cant. What do i do?? Please help!

---

I want to point out that NOT all women can orgasm from just sex. Most women have to have their clitoris stimulated.

Can your boyfriend make you orgasm with oral?

Do you know how to orgasm with masturbation.

A great position that seems to work for most women is you on top. Ride him making sure your clitoris is rubbing against his pelvic bone. He could use his tongue first for a while until you are there, then once you are almost there, hop on top o him.

Try to relax though. I think you are too hard on yourself and he is being hard on himself as well. That creates a lot tension which it makes it even harder to reach orgasm.

Please answer everyone's questions, so we know if you are at least successful with oral or masturbation yourself.

Thank you.