I am a 19 year old girl who is together with a man who's 22, we have been together for almost a year and already the sexlife is getting bad. I want sex every day, I am so tired of taking the iniativ to have sex and get refused. I feel bad and my selfesteem is not that good anymore because of this. Isn`t it normal to feel a bit horny when you are lying completely naked to your naked man?

We used to have often sex, but now it`s only like once or twice a week. This is really making me unhappy, because I need more. I want more. I have asked him if there`s something I do wrong, or something he wants me to do different, and I always get the same answer, "no" or he tells me he is so to tired... Which is 5-6 days a week! This is so frustrating. Besides sex we have a good relationship, but I honestly don`t know if I can be together with a man with so little sexlust as him...

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Originally Posted by lisaanderson

I am a 19 year old girl who is together with a man who's 22, we have been together for almost a year and already the sexlife is getting bad. I want sex every day, I am so tired of taking the iniativ to have sex and get refused. I feel bad and my selfesteem is not that good anymore because of this. Isn`t it normal to feel a bit horny when you are lying completely naked to your naked man?

We used to have often sex, but now it`s only like once or twice a week. This is really making me unhappy, because I need more. I want more. I have asked him if there`s something I do wrong, or something he wants me to do different, and I always get the same answer, "no" or he tells me he is so to tired... Which is 5-6 days a week! This is so frustrating. Besides sex we have a good relationship, but I honestly don`t know if I can be together with a man with so little sexlust as him...

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I would just like to point out that having sex once or twice a week is still pretty good. Some people only have that a month.

You're still in good shape.

I wouldn't worry about your selfesteem. This has nothing to do with you, I am sure.

Life happens and stress happens, and people get tired. Trying to have sex every day can be hard for a lot of people. Especailly people who work full time.

I think you are expecting too much from him. Like I said, 1 or 2 times a weeks is still pretty darn good.

What are your feelings for this male?

I will be blunt and say that you sound like he should be a sex toy instead of a boyfriend. It sounds like you are placing all of your self-esteem and pleasure on him not just wanting you but being unable to refrain from having sex with you. What do you think it does to his self-esteem to feel like all you want is sex (IF he does)?

Just because you feel aroused doesn't mean you have to act on those feelings. Even in a relationship, masturbation is a good thing. You don't have to have intercourse every time you are aroused.

You seem to be so caught up in what you want that you aren't listening to him. He may very well be tired and just wants to enjoy the feel of your body next to him. He isn't a robot any more than you are.

IF you really are having issues, when you aren't in bed or wanting sex, talk with him. Listen to him. Pay attention to his needs as well as communicating your own. A relationship takes communication and compromise to keep it healthy.

Don't forget that you aren't the one who has to get an erection. And you don't say what his days are like, what he does, how busy he is or how hard his work is. You don't say what you do to entice him, even before you get naked.

If you don't like the situation, find someone else. People come as a package. You take it or leave it. Rarely are there 2 people on this earth who make each other happy in every single way.

Wow, I don`t know what to say, but at of your answers helped me. I definitely don`t want my boyfriend as a sextoy, but still sex is a big part of my life. Maybe having sex once or twice a week, isn`t that bad.

Thank you for your answeres, it helped me a lot.

I am glad you are open to looking at the situation in a different way.

'Sex' is a big part of a lot of people's lives. However, it isn't always possible to have intercourse as much as we sometimes want it. Being tired, stressed, interruptions, timing, health restrictions, etc. will all come into play at some point or another. It is accepting those times and working around them that help build a long term relationship.

Good luck.

I'll second much of what others have said... if he has a stressful enough or physically exhausting job... it can and will effect his libido. So don't take it as anything you have done.

I am assuming he doesn't have any medical issues that might be undiagnosed... like High blood pressure, diabetes, depression or isn't taking any range of drugs that can effect libido as a side effect.

I have the same problem! Its like your happy but your not satisfied! My boyfriend just does it and its over. Its horrible for me! I've already cheated ( and confessed) but its just that bad! Idk what to do! Please let me know how you work this out and let me know!

I told him what I felt. I explained to him everything that was in my mind, and he sayd that it's nothing to do about me or my body, it's just his studies takes a lot of his time and make him exhausted. Strangerly enough he admitted that sometimes when he had the oppurtunity to sleep longer, and didn't go to school until noon, he sometimes jacked off. That is because he finally got his sleep. I don't know what your boyfriend work with, but it really isn't that bad as long as you love each other, and when you two finally have a vacation, you will definitive have more sex! I hope this helped.