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One of talanimans rules is after getting dumped never say you can't be friends? Just wondering why you suggest this. This is what I don't understand about women. What if the break up was because I wasn't opening up enough?
Is it better to fight for them and refuse to settle for a friendship/anything less than a relationship with them
Or
Say you are fine with being friends and act like you don't even care?
What exactly is right for your situation. What do you feel comfortable with. Not every situation is the same. What can you live with. What do you want to do?
Talaniman Rule- While they are dumping you, never say you can't be friends. Agree to whatever they want, then disappear from their life.
Its all about you keeping your dignity, and self respect, and loving yourself enough to have a chance to heal without them. Then the world is a vastly different place, without the head games, and emotional roller coasters.
Things are a lot better without the emotional baggage, and you get to see reality for what it is, and make good decisions for yourself, based on facts and not just feelings. The best part is you can put your priorities in the right order, and see better options, and opportunities for yourself.
Its no longer about them, or getting them back, but you being able to do the right thing for yourself. Its about being healthy, and happy without them.
Glad you asked, any more questions??
Don't argue, beg, or plead. No crying either.Quote:
after getting dumped never say you can't be friends?
Doesn't matter what the reason for a break up is.Quote:
this is what I don't understand about women. What if the break up was because I wasn't opening up enough?
When you get dumped you bow out gracefully, and keep your dignity and self respect. Then do your thing and enjoy it.Quote:
is it better to fight for them and refuse to settle for a friendship/anything less than a relationship with them
Don't even start playing silly mind games, they are a distraction, waste of time, and they backfire really quick.Quote:
say you are fine with being friends and act like you don't even care?
Also Kyle,
Why would you even try to stay with someone if they are over, done?
Why fight for a relationship?
When someone is finished, they are finished. Period.
Keep yourself respect and move on...
Thank you. Now it makes sense.Quote:
Originally Posted by mystific
I also don't understand and like to ask you about this rule as well. Anyway, after seeing your answer, I guess you mean when someone dumps or wants a break up with us, there's no need to make it dramatic or emotional: beg them/ blame them/ or say anything either it negative or positive as you think we should just simply agree and leave them alone. That's how we can handle breakup with dignity. My understanding is correct, right?
Anyway, that phrase was one of the things I said when my ex wanted a breakup. I said "Listen, I will never ever be friends with you, Ever." After that last conversation, I just totally disappeared. Haha... your rule makes me feel like "Urgh!! I said it!"
Then it's not only about never say "you can't be friends". It's more like " just don't say anything much" but simply agree and with them I guess.
When a relationship ends, if both parties are happy to treat one another as friends and have exactly the same feelings as they would with other friends then OK.
But, this means being genuinely happy for one another when they meet a new partner.
It means fully accepting that being friends is a better place for both than being in a relationship.
It means being able to be a shoulder to cry on when the other person has difficulties, maybe with new relationships, and feeling fine about it.
It means being able to feel exactly the same way towards them as towards other friends in all situations.
It means any new partner you have will not feel threatened by them in the future.
Theoretically possible. Rare in practice.
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