She said it was because my penis is not big enouph, what can I do? I hear pills and pumps and stuff like that don't work what can I do?
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She said it was because my penis is not big enouph, what can I do? I hear pills and pumps and stuff like that don't work what can I do?
First of all, Wow! Talk about killing your ego, not only with not giving her orgasms but also that your manhood is not big enough. Thank you sweet heart. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by kevinabc
I can't believe that it took her 8 years to finally tell you that.
Is it just through intercourse, or oral as well?
It's not your size that matters, it's how you use it.
Yes, pills and pumps DON'T work to make your penis grow.
What if you were to give her oral until she is almost there, then stop and let her get on top of you and finish it off that way? Have you tried that?
Can she have an orgasm on her own? Don't just assume she is correct and that it is you. It takes two to "tango"
Has she offered suggestions on how to help her? You can't read her mind after all.
Why did this suddenly come up? That's what I'd like to know.
You're right.Quote:
Originally Posted by emtdan
I just find it hard to believe that after 8 years, she telling him this. I would have said something to my partner after the 8th time, and no orgasm.
Tell her instead of criticizing your size, she could have been a bit more tactful and bought a book on sex, brought it up in a way that didn't kill your confidence in the sack. Brought it up as an issue you both can address and work on together, instead of pointing the blame at you. (The big O is a good book on it, about non goal oriented sex, it's helping my boyfriend of four years and I to get back into things!)
How does she expect you do preform now, if you have in the back of your mind this pressure of not giving her an orgasm for 8 years, and after she may have damaged your confidence with her or around her?
In all honesty... she should have brought it up a long time ago, not let it sit in the back of her mind and fester.
Jeeze... Either way what's said is said, you both can fix this! I really must stress how size is not that important, every woman is different and have quite a lot of ways to orgasm... maybe she isn't even aware of some. It can be very easy for some gals, and really hard for others... Woman usually have to be totally relaxed to get into the mood, when it's been that long in a relationship... from experience I can say this is true, and our foreplay isn't all boob grabbing and smooching. It begins as soon as your home, or as we come home... things are cleaned and there's no housework to be done, dinner is made and I can relax, I feel peaceful and more open to suggestions and my body can orgasm much easier in this state haha. It's true for a lot of women...
Talk to her about how you are willing to try, and how true it is "it takes two to tango"!
Please don't focus on your cock here being the problem, you BOTH need to focus on your sex life as a whole. You and your penis are NOT the problem haha. It's got to be team effort on improving your sex life as a whole. Get into it together, make it exciting.. buy books and toys if you want to get that going, but books for sure. That's a good point too.. does she know how to make herself orgasm? If so.. ask her how she does it, ask what she likes and where she likes to be touched... what turns her on? Maybe 8 years ago you guys talked about this but it can change in that time, maybe you both need an update on your preferences! So true you can't read her mind... she needs to communicate more on this. IF she refuses to think there is no possible way but to have a bigger penis in her she is being stubborn, bottom line, she can't say that until you guys have tried to fix things first.
As an extra note... I read in that same book, men are "do" machines, you tell them something is good and they do it right, they think, okay I will keep doing it then! Explain that to her... she might laugh, there might have been a time where you were preforming oral sex or something, and you asked does that feel good? And she replied yes, because she didn't know how to tell you otherwise! And so you think.. YES all right I'll remember that for next time! It's hard to bring up after then, but maybe telling her that will jog her memory of a time she did that and can specifically go back, and you two can re do the whole thing the way she likes it! Same thing goes for you, if you've said that to her before! I don't entirely think it's men only, I believe a lot of people are do machines... who wouldn't be, if someone said your doing it right and never told you all along it wasn't!
Sorry haha... but I really think it should be a fun adventure, the sex you have in the later years is not as crazy and hormonal as it is when we are teenagers... but it's much more rewarding, connecting and filled with a lot more meaning, and it can be fecking intense ;)
Good luck!
First she has no idea of what she is talking about , in the size, the size has no effect on her having one. The idea would be have her instruct you on what to do, so he has some before you start the actual intercourse. ( for a start anyway)
Blimey, did she kick you in the nuts to finish you off?
If she isn't having an orgasm she should have told you before now.
She should be willing to tell you or show you how to help her achieve one.
I have been having sex for (umm I'm getting too old to do the maths lol) err about 30 years and have probably had an orgasm from penetrative sex alone about 30 times at best. (and no I don't only have sex on my birthday lol.)
Most women need manual or oral stimulation to achieve orgasm, most of the time. If your partner doesn't know this herself then it's time to encourage her to start experimenting herself and for the two of you to do so together. Maybe share some sex books to get some information and ideas. If she is getting worked up during foreplay but cannot sustain this during penetrative sex then you, or she, needs to continue stimulation. Some ladies are a bit shy about helping themselves along but a bit of reassurance from their partner can work wonders.
Most women are able to orgasm without the penis even being involved, so how on earth is size the problem? Some of us orgasm through breast stimulation alone - I'm darned if I can see how a big manhood would help with that. If all it took was a large penis there would be some pretty unhappy gay ladies around, and how would us girls manage when we play solo? (Yes, I know there are artificial substitutes, but we really don't need them all the time.) Sorry to labour the point a little, but I really do want you to see your girlfriend has got this wrong, and whatever your size, that really isn't the problem.
I can only assume that she has been biting her tongue about this for a long time and blurted this out in frustration. Now that it is out in the open you can start talking about it properly. Try not to let this thougtless way of telling you damage your ego too much, but see it as an opportunity to learn together. Clemintine has given you some lovely advice which should help you get started on the talking.
This is his girlfriend And its nice he gets on here to bash me and not tell the whole story to the situation. And then uses my email address to get all these bashes sent to really nice. And its not about the size its just I don't have a sex drive at all I don't have the desire to have sex at all. Its not him at all I love him to death. And I bashed him like that because of him bashing me! Just remember there's always 2 sides to every story!
Yes, there are two sides to every story, but sadly we don't have the luxury of hearing both sides, we can only base our advice on what the OP (original poster) tells us.Quote:
Originally Posted by kevinabc
If someone wants accurate advice, than honesty is the best policy, even if you come off looking bad. Obviously he wasn't completely honest with us, but there's no way for us to know that.
Alty is absolutely correct.Quote:
Originally Posted by kevinabc
We only read one side of the story. I too, also agree that there are two sides.
Find a person who has the same drive. Both of you.
She doesn't like oral she thinks it is nasty
Thanks for all the information you have givven me and advise. I have tried to talk to her and ask her what I can do and she suggest things to me but when I do what she has suggested it doesn't work. I even spent around 3 to 4 hundred dollars on toys.
I do not bash her about anything as far as her appearance I only tell her how bad she makes me feel about myself. If that is considered bashing her than I am guilty but I have to let her know how bad I am hurting.
Ask her how I bash her. She just doesn't want to sound heartless. Ask her for real see what she says. We have 3 kids together and for her to just now tell me this. It hurts especially when she is trying to turn it around on me and say I bash her.
Perhaps she sets up her own account and comes on here. Maybe we can help her as well.
However, I don't want to be the middle man. You two should be having this discussion.
I do understand that there are two sides of the story.
I will take it that kevin12345 is the same person as kevinabc and is not the girlfriend. Though, I am wondering why the name change.
IF the second kevinabc post is to be believed, then toys are not going to help much. She says she isn't interested in sex and now you say she has had three children in eight years. How old are they? How much other stuff is going on in your lives that are adding stress? Did she strike out at you because she felt cornered and pressured? She may be tired and she may need to talk to her doctor about having her hormones checked. She may need a change of contraceptives.
It sounds like you want a quick fix when better communications are probably in order.
Quite frankly, if you can't sit down together and discuss this issue like mature adults, then maybe you need to get out of the 'couple' relationship and only be parents together. Perhaps, you need different partners who are more understanding of where each of you are coming from.
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