Her name was shannon Mcmanamon and I was adopted through the easter house 14 yrs ago

You might want to consider a P.I.
But here's my question. Why do you want to find her? How old were you when you were adopted? Have you asked your parents to help you?

I was a baby and I honestly feel ilk threes a hole in my heart just for her

So you're 14? What about the parents that adopted you? Have you talked to them about it?

Yes and they don't understand

Ravens...
My guess is that your adoptive parents do understand but they are scared. They may be afraid that they are not enough for them. It is only natural for you to want to know your biological past. But as a woman who place her baby for adoption a loooong time ago I suggest that you wait until you are 18. You will have more resources at your disposal and you will have more life experience and may be able to handle what ever you find. You don't know what your birth mothers circumstances are now and you have to prepare for that.

Take your time and love where you are now and in time you can find your bio mom.

Warmly,
Michelle Lee

Thank you so much for the advice. It truly means a lot to me

Ask your friend mom to help you find your birth mother okay

Kristi--NO!

Do NOT ask your friend's mom to help.

It is ILLEGAL to help a minor search. ONLY the parents or guardians of a minor can initiate the search on behalf of the minor.

Do you know why you were put in the foster care and adoption system?

Let me tell you a little about me so you can understand why I ask.

I was put in the fostercare system at 4 years old. In and out for three years bouncing around schools and homes and finally being adopted by my wonderful parents at the age of 7. I know why I was put in the system. My parents were drunks, druggies and neglected their parental duties to my siblings and I.

I am not saying that is what happened to you. There is always a reason to why you are where you are. Pregnant at too young of an age? Possibly! I don't know.

I have always been curious as to why adoptees try and find their biological parents. If you don't mind explaining your situation, I would love to talk about it.

Rick

Yes I work and counsel many adopted people. ( I am adopted and have a son I adopted)

When he was older I offered to help him find his birth father, he declined.

But a lot ( a lot) of the meetings, the child finding the birth mother or father is not the happy "Oprah" moment like you see on TV, the birth parent may curse you out for even looking, tell you that you have ruined their life, tell you they wish they had a abortion instead, tell you that they never want to hear from you again, they may even try and get a restraining order to keep you away from them.

So you need to be mature enough and understanding that what you feel as a "whole" may not be anything more than a misunderstanding of what your adoptive parents have went though to get you.

They were not merely "stuck" with you like many parents who gave birth to a child, but they made a choice to adopt, and then went and picked you out special.

My family and I are members of H.O.P.E (Helping Other Prepare for Everything), MCFAN (Midland County Foster and Adoption Network) and my brother has worked with Jimmy Wayne (yes the country singer) on many of his foundation works.

Growing up, when kids would ask me about adoption and how I was "different" I simply laughed. I told them "your parents didn't have a choice on how you were going to look, act etc..mine did. I was picked, I was selected".

I agree 100% with the above poster as the feelings you have, the "emptiness" you may feel could very well be completely opposite of your biological mother. I can't stress this enough. When a child in one of our networks want to try and find their parents, I simply ask them one thing. Do you know why you were put through the system?

The question in itself rises curiosity but more importantly it makes them realize that for about 90% the reason they're here was not for good reasons.

I hope you take the time and think about your actions. Not only could it lead to heartache but your parents might feel a little disrespected that after what they've done, you still want your biological mother. I am not saying none of this will happen in your case but I have seen it many times.

Good luck and update us whenever you want.

Rick

On the other side of the story are the parents who did everything the system told them to do, and still did not get their children back.

CPS isn't perfect, and there IS corruption within it.

That being said--wait. Wait until you are at least 18 and your hormones slow down and you don't feel awkward and different and apart from your family.

Do you have ANY idea how many teenagers feel what you are feeling? Or how many come here asking to find out if they were adopted, when most of them were not even adopted, because they feel so different and separate from their families?

You at least KNOW you were adopted. You KNOW that your parents had to fight to get you. Adoption isn't an easy thing to go through, for any of the parties--but your parents CHOSE you, and they jumped through dozens of hoops to get you.

Work on YOU for now. Maybe when you are an adult, you can search knowing ALL of the possible outcomes for you. You have to be complete yourself, though--looking because you're "not complete" or "hollow" means that you are depending on someone else to complete you, which is NEVER a good idea. Complete yourself, THEN look. Look when you are curious or want your medical history or whatever.

But searching because of your feelings will be nothing but heartache, because it cannot ever possibly turn out the way you dream it will.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Synnen

On the other side of the story are the parents who did everything the system told them to do, and still did not get their children back.

---

I agree that they're not perfect, but you children aren't taken from their parents for no reason. There is an underlying issue in all cases, whether the parents did what they had to to get them back or not, one must realize there was a reason.

Rick

I would love to discuss this with you further, but we are hijacking the OP's thread with this conversation. If you'd like to continue to discuss it, please open a thread in Member Discussions.

Thanks.

I have no idea y I was put into the system. My mother was 25