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-   -   My husband says he loves me a lot but never initiates me for a sexual intercourse.. I (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=516239)

  • Oct 13, 2010, 05:12 AM
    arunachem
    My husband says he loves me a lot but never initiates me for a sexual intercourse.. I
    Thought initially that he is not that free moving type so I thought of giving enough free space for him to adjust... later on accidentally I saw some messages in inbox and sent items that he is begging them for friendship and "can we meet" such sort of stuff... I didn't understand how to take it... I asked him who is neelima he got angry the very next minute... I don't understand I am there at home ready to do anything for him he too knows that... but why is he interested in others friendships... whenever I come near him for spending time... he says that he is not feeling well,headache but he himself calls her and talk to her... nothing serious chat but still I am not able to digest this... can anyone help...
  • Oct 13, 2010, 06:42 AM
    beachloverjohn

    It sounds like he might be playing around. You should confront him with these emails, and then throw him out.
  • Oct 13, 2010, 06:52 AM
    answerme_tender

    How was your relationship before you got married. Was your marriage arranged?
  • Oct 13, 2010, 06:58 AM
    beachloverjohn

    You're right answerme, her marriage probably was arrainged. So now she feels like she has to make it work. But if he's not willing, you can't do it alone. So there are 2 choices, and one of them is THROW HIM OUT.
  • Oct 13, 2010, 08:23 AM
    Cat1864
    John, if she comes from the culture it sounds like she does, it isn't as easy as kicking him out especially if it is an arranged marriage.

    arunachem, how long have you been married? Does he truly comprehend what 'Love' is? Would he be willing to sit down and talk with you about what is going on? Would both of you find it easier to discuss the issues with a third party like trusted family member or friend or a counselor?

    I am wondering if he was ready to get married or if he might have been pressured (or felt that way). Could he be concerned about starting a family? The thought somewhere in his head being that if you don't have sex, you can't get pregnant.

    If you can sit down and discuss the issues calmly with him, what were his expectations about getting married?

    A big question is what would the repercussions be if the marriage was dissolved?
  • Oct 13, 2010, 09:23 AM
    beachloverjohn

    I guess I just don't understand how a husband can get mad at his wife because she questioned him about the emails he sends out trying to make dates. Then he ignores his wife, makes excuses, then talks to another woman. This may be an arrainged marriage, now it's time to arrainge a separation.. I doubt if this was ever a real marriage antway.

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