When 15 onwards ended being forced into having sex with men and being verbally and pysically abused by them and passed around by them and forced to take drugs. And ended up self harming myself because of it. Now when ever man who like comes along he ends up being the same verbally abusive to, and if just sex they want I do cut them off. But just ends up always being same men. Now just feel like am worthless that don't deserve better because of it. And started to harm myself again.because over years always been same men. Treat you like **** then you see them up town couple months later in town holding hands with some girl all happy.

You need to be in counseling. These issues go way back and you're going to need a lot of help resolving them.

You have gone through emotional and physical abuse. Its time for you to start your healing. You need to get some professional counceling. This person will listen without judgement, and help you establish the emotional tools to move on, even from the self destructive abuse victim to survivor!!
Crystal you have to take those steps to getting help. You can do it. Don't let your own doubts control the possibility of achieving stablity in your life. Fight for yourself!!

You have to find your sense of self worth for several reasons. This will help you find men that treat you well. This is your responsibility to find these men and reject those that don't know how to do this. It will also help you feel good about yourself. Men who seek out those to abuse find those willing to be abused. You may need counseling to help you find yourself confidence after such a history. Otherwise you will continue to abuse yourself through the addictions that you describe.

I know how you feel my last two relationships have been the same as yours and trust me I know it SUCKS! But I found counseling and talking to others has helped me,Im still struggling but you have to take one day at a time,it'll get better.