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-   -   First time kiss, first hug, first love , first time everything! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=515871)

  • Oct 12, 2010, 03:02 AM
    lovely777
    First time kiss, first hug, first love , first time everything!!
    "i had been dating a girl for 3 years almost, i was her first kiss and her first time and we almost had a baby together. On labor day she said she needed time to think so i gave her 3 days, and when i showed up after the third day she said she didnt want to talk and that she was out like 2 mins away from her house and i asked if she would come back and speak to me and she said come back tomorrow when i get back from work and i said if you dont speak to me today i wont speak to you. So i left her alone for a week and i saw her at school and avoided her and then i felt bad so i went to her house at night and she wouldnt answer or open the door. Her dad came and said that she had told the family that she didnt want me around and that we were broken up. So i left, and then the next 2 days i saw her leaving and followed her and she was going somewhere, and she saw me and freaked out and ran home. Then i texted her and she said that she didnt want a relatioship anymore, she didnt want to be with me anymore and that she wouldnt speak to me anymore. I was so hurt and i left . I left it for a while and had to threaten her to speak to her and she said the same thing. She said she wanted time and needed space for herself, So i started to leave her alone and then i saw her spying on me at school. Mind you this is the same girl who on the aug 30th said she couldnt wait to spend the rest of her life with me , to 5 days later saying things like i dont want to be with you anymore. Shes extremely immature and is very possesive and controling. She has no friends and does not like the party scene and does not like socializing with others. When we were breaking up she was saying things like i can still see us moving in together, and she was afraid that i would go sleep with other girls. I asked if she wanted to be friends and she said it was too weird that the pressure was too much and she just wants time to herself right now. So a month passed and i saw her at school again, she has now dropped all her classes and has no business being at shcool because she has no friends there. My class got out early and i was about to leave and she drove by and looked over at me and wanted me to follow her, but i didnt . I went my own way, and the other night i ran into her agian. i followed her home and she sat in her car for a while and then when i didnt go to her she went into her house. This girl is the worst communicator ever! she dosent know how to express her feelings and is very closed off. She is also a very religious girl and i know for a fact that she isnt seeing someone else because she wouldnt be stalking me at school, if there was someone else. I dont know what to do anymore, i belive shes under the GRASS IS GREENER effect and wants to see what else is out there. Now i dont know whether i should still try to speak to her and try to get the truth out of her , or should i just let it be, we are crazy about eachother and have been playing the breakup game for a really long time but this time its gone to a new level. We have never been apart this long for such a long time in 3 years. we have spent almost every day together. This is killing me , i dont know what shes thinking or what shes feeling. Please help me!"
  • Oct 12, 2010, 08:36 AM
    answerme_tender

    Its always hard to get over your first big love. I would go with "NO CONTACT" period. She was the one who didn't want relationship, so you need to stick with that. If you continue to try, you will only appear to be begging and do you really want that! Even if you think that she is sending mixed messages, just remember the one that she gave you loud and clear on " needed time and space" and even told her family!
    Get out with friends, and meet some new girls. Good luck
  • Oct 19, 2010, 05:43 PM
    Dstny618
    I completely agree with Answerme. The absolute best thing that you can do is to avoid all contact with her whatsoever. Move on and do your own thing. The more you try to go after her and change her mind, the further and further you will push her away. She had no problem coming out and telling you exactly what she wanted before, and trust me, if she decides you are what she's missing she will have no trouble telling you again. Give her space and time to let her see if you are what she's missing. Stay away... work on healing yourself. I know it's hard, but it will get easier.
  • Oct 19, 2010, 05:53 PM
    88sunflower
    Am I reading this right? She pushes you away, then stalks you. Well there is your sign.

    Your young. Your in school. Boyfriends/girlfriends come and go. You may not feel that right now and may not want to feel that but it's the facts. You split so leave it be. Stick with no contact. You have a long time to find the one. Even if you did get back with her it will happen again. I am sure of it. Save yourself the agony and move on now while the break is there.
  • Oct 20, 2010, 06:34 AM
    talaniman

    What a long and frustrating break up, but right off the bat, if you have to threaten someone to talk to you, then its been over for a while, but the message got lost in the brain somewhere.

    But facts remain, and all drama aside, accept that its over, and leave her alone. Please no more weird behavior, and no more seeing hope in HER weird behavior. Just be responsible for yourself, as you break those old attachments, and habits of when you were together.

    Break ups suck anyway for most of us, but it's a lot worse when ex partners just don't know how to let go, and get on with life.

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