So long story short, I took my girlfriend of 7 years out with me to hang with some friends of mine. She had quite a bit too much to drink. Due to this, she apparently had a blackout. I woke her up out of the car to tell her to come up to the apartment to go to bed, and she attacked me and a long time friend of mine(who is a girl). She punched her in the face for no reason, and then Bit me to the point on my front shoulder that I had to go through emergency.

The bite was so Deep that it could not be stitched back together. It is a very deep flesh wound. I was told it could take possibly 5 months to get back to normal. My friend attempted to call the police. I begged her not to thinking I could calm my girlfriend down. My friend agreed until she got punched in the face a second time by my girlfriend (all of this being in 20 minutes). My friend called the police, they came out. My girlfriend acted COMPLETELY sober and normal, saying to the police that we had just got finished playing cards and was wondering why they were.

The police took pictures of me and charged her with domestic abuse and assault and battery. She was taken into jail on Friday night. She was suppose to see a judge the next morning around noon, but her alcohol level was still SO HIGH, they made her wait until Sunday. I went to get her on Sunday and she was crying her eyes out asking what happened... when she saw the bite mark she cried even more saying she didn't remember any of it. We went to court. She was charged with domestic abuse (9 months probation, alcohol and drug testing, and anger management). If she completes all of these things, the state will drop the charges and not put this on her record as she is a first time offender.

My friends all stated that I needed to get rid of her because I am going to end up getting myself killed. I disagreed stating that if this was an all-the-time situation, then I could understand. But this type of violence only happened one time. We do live together. This past week, she has just been having an attitude, mainly because I don't want to cuddle with her as my arm is wrapped in bandages.

When she was in jail, I had her phone and went through it because I often wondered why she was always questioning if I was cheating(which was never the case). I came to find in her phone naked pics of guys sending pics of themselves to her, and she was doing the same thing, sending pics to them. When I confronted her about it after I got out of jail, she cried and said she did NOT cheat, but got bored one day and did that.

I am lost and don't know what I should do. Last week I never left her side because she had been crying all week, and all thought maybe she would try and attempt suicide. She has a lot going for herself. She is very smart (3.7 GPA) and interns for the Top news station in the country. I am in college and have missed an entire week of school doing this.

Any ideas? I would really appreciate it

Sounds like a serious drinking problem and most likely does things out of impulse and perhaps drinking invovlved also.

Depends, is she ( and you) going to stop drinking, if not, you can expect more. Two years ago next month, I answered my door, to find my neighbor at it, with a knife in his back, same issue, wife was drinking, she always fights when she gets drunk, that night, he got stabbed. He of course moved right back with her.

Let her finish the probation & get help.

Was this the first outburst or drunken blackouts? I bet not.

Whatever, she sending naked pix to other dudes.

Let this bite be a bite on your a$$ and dump her.

Who needs that?

Don't wait around for her to get better. She's got major problems.

Posts combined, please do not post a new thread to add more info, if you want to add info, merely "answer" your own question

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Quote by Fr. Chuck;
Posts combined, please do not post a new thread to add more info, if you want to add info, merely "answer" your own question

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Sorry

Yeah I really need to move out. Its hard because its been a long 7 years. Can't afford to live on my own and this is interfering with my grades in college. She is also court ordered to go to AA 3 times a week. Hopefully this will help. I may go along too

All problems can be worked out, if both sides are willing to work hard and if they really want to change.

So if you both want to work on it, AA and relationship couselng. But AA only works if you really want to stop.

Yup, sounds like you both may have problems with alcohol. Maybe she trying to keep up with you. I don't know.

7 years is one thing. 7 crappy years is another. How much more time are you going to waste? Got to weigh things, use your gut. Say enough is enough.

Sounds like you both may need to get back to reality. This relationship doesn't sound healthy. Was it for the most part this way?

Probably best to seek help apart. Then see.

Don't let her drag you down or vis-versa.

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She is also court ordered to go to AA 3 times a week. Hopefully this will help. I may go along too

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That's a good idea, you both may learn something you need to know, about yourselves, and each other.

Well right now, things are hard because my friends want to hang out with me all the time (for example taking me to dinner, etc). They know what happened, and they do NOT WANT ANYTHING to do with her. They told me that if they invite me out she is NOT welcome because if she goes into a drunken stupor with them and does this same thing or anything close, they will Shoot her or beat her up so bad she will be in intensive care.

It sucks because every time I hang with my friends now, she blows up my phone like EVERY 20 minutes to see what I'm up to

Don't worry guy, this won't last much longer simply because you, or her will tire of the BS, and bring things to a head, and either face things together or apart.

It could be you two are not good for each other right now. Take a break and take care of yourselves.

That is too much drama and there are a few things worse than a violent drunk.
Neither of you can help the other, you need professional help. I hope she gets it.

And of course, just now, she calls me on my cell phone and asks if its OK of she stops by the store to get her just 1 BEER for the night... ***!! ARE U SERIOUS!! You told me you would change, u have been sober since the incident... and now this?! That is an INSULT!

Geez guy, what do you expect a drunk to do to get back in her comfort zone? Let me know when your sick and tired of it, and be careful going home.

Don't fuel the fire anymore.

Make a plan to change all of this.

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Originally Posted by mizztazzy

She had quite a bit too much to drink. Due to this, she apparently had a blackout.

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She passed out because she was drunk.

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Originally Posted by mizztazzy

She punched her in the face for no reason, and then Bit me to the point on my front shoulder that I had to go through emergency.

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Drunk and violent

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Originally Posted by mizztazzy

My friend called the police, they came out. My girlfriend acted COMPLETELY sober and normal, saying to the police that we had just got finished playing cards and was wondering why they were.

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Drunk, violent and a liar.

If she wants to change and work on herself and the relationship, then see if her words match her actions. Seeing as she's asked for a "beer" I don't see how that is happening.

If you two have been together 7 years then ill assume you are around 24+. Old enough to know better. Are you a guy or a girl as well? Regardless this is still domestic violence and you need to leave while she straightens herself out.

If she had been making her meetings like she is supposed to do, she would have gone to one when she feels the need to drink again, or called a sponsor, or another recovering person. That's what they tell you to do around the tables.

She will have to learn to deal with her demons without you, or drown in her own sh1t until she does. Maybe she has to fall further until she hits rock bottom, that's up to her, but for sure if you allow her behavior by staying, you will get more of it, and that's the bottom line for you.

You are dealing with and alcoholic, that is what they do.
Don't be her crutch, it does her no good and it also does no good to get angry with her for being what she is.
If you choose to stay, go to AA meetings for family members of alcoholics, if you are not wanting to do that you may as well end the relationship.

If you are out drinking with your friends, responsibly, or NOT, then you only give her reasons to want to drink. That's a temptation she cannot resist.

It's getting awkard. She's now drinks at least 2 beers a night. I will say this: She only gets crazily violent when she drinks "dark liquor" which is why she doesn't drink it. The night of her drunk stupor, she had a blackout and didn't remember drinking dark liquor... although she did according to my friends that kept buying rounds of shots.

I think it is time for me to get out of this. Her attitude has not changed much. Her excuse is that she is sorry for what she did, but that I've done mean things to her in the past and she forgave me. (what was done in the past was not emotionally, physical, nor verbally abusive).

The only reason I did not "rough her up" that night was because the cops wouldve taken me to jail pounding on a woman.

Im getting to the point of misery. We had 2 TVs with cable. Sometimes, I want to watch what I want to watch and so I go in the other room, as she is addicted to cooking channels. She gets upset at this.

Also, when she goes to bed, she expects me to come in the room to lay on the bed with her to go to bed... This happens ALL the time. Its to the point where I feel guilty if I am still in the living room watching TV as I'm not sleepy. Not complying, she gets an INSANE attitude, slamming doors, yelling at the top of her longs, etc saying "you never show me any affection", and it goes from there. The affection she wants me to show is basically sex EVERYDAY.

When I hang out with my friends, she gets pissed because she's no longer invited because of the incident. They are looking at this relationship from the outside and her having a domestic violence charge. Because she punched a girl twice doing this incident who is also friends with my crew, they do want to have ANYTHING to do with my girlfriend.

When I'm out hanging with them, she sends texts, calls constantly. The texts say things like " you're still out? Its 11pm"... When I go completely off on her, and move out the apt because I'm tired of it, she gets through to my family, who think it's my fault. She doesn't show my family this side of her... until recently. And I'll explain why

Back in July, she had me take her over to this dangerous side of town so that she can get some coke. We ended up getting robbed and beat up by a group of people. My face was swollen for weeks. My family was upset because they KNOW this isn't something I would do normally. When my family expressed anger with both of us for being over on that side of town that late at night, my girlfrend got pissed and said not to judge her, as she does judge people for overeating, having sex before marriage, etc...

The next reason my family is starting to see things is because of the domestic violence charge. I called one of them around 2am just before she ripped my phone in half. They heard her in the background screaming at the top of her lungs. One of my uncles(her favorite person) is still enabling her by saying she doesn't have an alcohol problem. She just had a blackout because she could not hang with college kids and drink like that, and that most people have had a blackout at one point which doesn't make them alcoholics.

Has anyone ever gone through my situation?

She is an alcoholic and you two are in a violent relationship. The fact that you did not "beat her down" because your were worrying about getting arrested speaks volumes.
Whatever she is or is not doing now is irrelevant. Leave the situation! This is what needs to be done, and get some counseling.