Why when having a child by some one else from a previous relationship is so complicated when it does not have to be? She claims to be happy that were split apart but when I get married and move on and have a new child involved she's making things difficult for me and my daughter's relationship, claims she want my daughter to be apart of my family but doest show it... When I want to see my daughter at a earlier time then what is schedule its always why? And why do you want to see her?. When I am a father that's wants to be apart of my daughter life but the mother tries to put a hold in front of it since she knows I'm married and have a son on the way. My wife and her have meet before they were very respectful but when my wife is not around she texts disrespectful thing about my wife and son that have never did anything to her and they never had a one on one conversation with each other. The more craziest thing is that I never said anything about her boyfriend or anything of that nature. I want to be civil with her but she is really pushing my buttons badly. So my question is Why do woman have a child with someone and when the father tries and tries to be apart of the child's life as much as possible the woman tries to push the real father away and when she has a boyfriend you rather your daughter spend time with her boyfriend then her own father?

It comes down to the person and their individual character. It doesn't really matter if your male or female. I think that is why when we get into a relationship with someone we better make darn sure before sleep with them that if your not willing to be connected to them for rest of your life, make sure you have some real good protection! I am amazed everyday by some of catty, cruel things people do to another person that they once cared for. Or see perfect strangers making fun of someone because how they appear, maybe they don't fit mold of society.
Then I read a post here on this site were a young girl lost her fiancé and is pregnant is totally crushed. The way perfect strangers gave of their hearts was amazing.
So I guess my point is it doesn't matter if your male/female its who you are on the inside that shows. Unfortuantely you are having to deal with a woman who isn't happy in her relationship, who has no control in that relationship. So she is jealous of your happiness and she is using your daughter to have some control in her life.

Your wife sounds like a very good cautious mother to a still infant child, if I read your other posts right, and I think you back up a bit, and not be led down this emotional path to get what you want. While I understand your concerns right now, you have to realize the two of you didn't get along, or work well enough to stay together in the first place, and even now have conflicts about parenting. Most of your concerns will be resolved as the child gets older, and can interact on a different level, with his step brother.

I think you both are somewhat selfish, and controlling over the other to be honest, because just the ages of your children makes me think there is a lot more going on between you two than just parenting together in two different household. I think this whole thing is about control, and the resentment of that control by the other partner on both your parts. No wonder you couldn't work together as a couple, and compromise for the good of your child now, without resentment getting in the way.

I see you in court a lot, over things that you should be working out on your own, together, as parents. Maybe that's a good thing.

This has nothing to do with what the mother wants. You do not have to receive texts from her, or be subject to her disrespectful rants about your wife. She does not need to be coddled, put up with, negotiated with, or treated like a princess because she is (I suspect) jealous of your wife, your life, and a new baby on the way. She really has to get over herself.

If you do not have a visitation schedule formally in place, then get one. The only person you need worry about, is the child. Stop negotiating with emotions, and reacting to the emotions of your ex, because you fear she has power and control over your time with your daughter if you don't.

Perhaps she will come around in time after the new baby arrives, but to leave it to chance, or to hope that it does, will not translate into you having a relationship with your daughter- particularly at a time where she is going to be adjusting to having a brother.

I would gently, but firmly step up and tell her you will no longer negotiate, or be influenced by her opinions on your wfe. The only calls you will accept are strictly to do with your daughter, and matters to do with visitation, holdays, etc.

Do what you need to do to ensure a continuing relationship with your daughter, not a continuing power play by your ex.

Comment on talaniman's post
Your so right about that I just want to have part in my daughters life even if me and her mother will no long be cool... Her mother doesn't mind the money but when its time for me to see my daughter it's a different story... I do have visitation

I go to court a lot because she never agrees with me on when I need to see my daughter she wants me to see her everyother weekend but I want her every weekend and 1time during the week or more but I could settle of that I just need more time with her

4 days out of a month is not enough to bond with a child nore experience things with her... so that's why I go to court a lot but her mother things I'm doing this to impress my wife I do not know where she comes up with the thoughts

Comment on answerme_tender's post
Your so right and at 1st I was falling to let her take control till I had to ask for help... by dealing with her mess so she won't take my daughter away and protecting my wife feelings too which I started wrong but now I'm just ready to c my child

Comment on BrOkEn_StAr's post
Yes part of it was my mistake by falling into her trap... but I did plan on being with her till she cheated on me while she was pregnant with my daughter mulitple times and admitted to me as if I can't hurt to

It would have been different if she wasn't pregnant I probably could have forgave her but pregnant with my child that even worst... I was faithful to her took her in when she had family problems and we helped each other and this is what she did