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-   -   So I told him how I feel... Now what? Help! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=51410)

  • Dec 31, 2006, 01:20 PM
    jujubee8378
    So I told him how I feel... now what? Help!
    All right so I told my ex how I feel, I told him that I wanted another chance. All he said was that we need space, and that I shouldn't revolve my entire life around him. I understand that... I just want to prove to him that I've changed! I want to show him that I can be in a relationship without being controlling and obsessive... I am still independent, I'm just in love at the same time!
    I am willing to give him space, but how can I try to prove it to him that I'm different without being super clingy and obsessive? I want him to know that I love him, and that I will work this time around. He told me there's no guarantees, and that I might get hurt in the end. I am okay with that, it's worth it to me right now.
    Please don't tell me to move on, because I've already decided I want to try again, and if I fail this time, THEN I'll move on and cut him out of my life.
    Any other advice is welcome, especially if you've won an ex back before. I love this boy and I regret treating him so poorly and being so controlling... please help! Give him space.. but also prove to him I am worth a shot? And also still be friends? Ahhh! We aren't talking just yet, he told me to go work on myself for a little bit, and figure out who I am. I am doing that, but in a few weeks I will be ready to try again, and its my job to start us talking again. I need control of this situation because right now he thinks I'm just some pathetic loser waiting for him. How can I show him I'm independent while also giving him the world and letting him know how much I care?
  • Dec 31, 2006, 01:32 PM
    s_cianci
    You need to continue on with not having any contact with him, at least for a couple more months. "In a few weeks" is too short ; if you contact him in that short of a time he'll still believe you'er needy and clingy and you won't have proven anything to him. Now, if he contacts you sooner, that's different. But even if that happens, don't give him all of your time. You're busy and have a life. He needs to know that. That's how you prove to him that you've changed and that you're no longer needy, clingy and obsessive. During this prolonged period of no contact is the time for you to start getting involved in other activities, lots of them. Then, if you do eventually catch up with him again, he'll see that you truly are a changed person.

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