My ex & I have joint custody. However I 12yr old doesn't want to live with him. We switch every Friday. However he doesn't want to give up his time with her. She is consistently crying begging me not to make her go but I still try and encourage her. She asked to speak with a judge. He is not willing to sit and talk about anything. I don't know what to do. I know I can't make a child happy but as a parent its hard to see her so unhappy. There are two other kids 7yrs of age and they are fine. I don't want to try and take her from him cause things are already bad between us. He already talks to me onl through a text message. Im in need of some help. Will a judge even hear our case?

By the way I am in California.

Not her case, your case, you will need to file a motion to modify visitation. The judge may or may not order mediation or he may merely hear the case.

Please explain in detail here, exactly what grounds or what reasons you wish to use to limit his visits with the child.
** merely merely not wanting to is not a reason

Does it interfer with her sports or other activities,
Does he hurt her, or is he mean to her
Is she not cared for ?

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Originally Posted by jgaines

... She asked to speak with a judge. He is not willing to sit and talk about anything. ...

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She needs to understand that a judge cannot speak to her unless there is first something pending before that judge. And no one can file a motion to, for example, change the visitation schedule, unless there is something substantial alleged. Not to mention that the judge cannot usually meet with her in the absence of attorneys for both her parents.

If something is going to be done, she needs to confide in you, or another trusted adult.

Is the father aware of this situation?

What are the reasons she gives for not wanting to be with her father?

This would be the primary interest of a judge or mediator or a mother or a father.

What are the reasons?

I don't wish to limit his visits but its hard making her go. No he doesn't hurt her or anything. I think she is having a hard time transitioning. He did just get married and they moved in with her. However my kids only visited with her 2 in the 3 yrs they dated. I am trying to get her to be OK with the arrangements. She only wants to visit him on weekends. I have told her just being unhappy is not good enough. But as a mother its hard. She locked herself in the bathroom last week and I had to tell her that he would call the police on me if I didn't take her. So no, its not abusive or anything. I just don't know what to do. We have had this arrangement since she was 5. she asked last year could she just live with me and he told her maybe once she gets to high school. She's a straight A student we don't have problems out of her but I just feel like there is something I should do. Please give me advice! I am listening.

I have asked her grandmother to speak with her. She just states she doesn't want to split her time with him. I spoke to him but he is not willing to budge. He wants his time with his daughter. He thinks she'll get over it.

I don't want to waste a judges time. I'm not a parent who is going to make stuff up. I truly wants what's best for her. I don't want her to start acting out.

I think she needs to present her case to him.

It is an adult decision and if she can handle it in a fairly adult manner , it may be the best way to get her point across.

It is a big chore for a 12 yr old, talk to her about it and tell her to prepare her case and present it to him.

So do you think I should file to modify the order so she can speak with someone?