Ask Me Help Desk - Is kissing only for serious relationships?

I'm planning on dating around a little bit, but I most certainly don't want to end up in another serious relationship. I've been bouncing around serious relationships for years, and I'm not sure how to set my boundaries anymore. I want to pursue this boy in one of my college classes because I really like him, but serious dating isn't something I want right now; just casual.
However, I want to get the most I can from him. If we end up kissing, would this turn it into something too serious?

I'm only 18, and I've come to realize I'm too young for actual serious relationships. I don't plan on marrying too early, or anything.
So would it be a huge mistake if I casually dated him a few times, and a kiss came out of the blue?

Kissing is cool on dates with people whom you are yet to love.

As long as you can control yourself, and that the other person knows that it's not going to lead to the horizontal mambo. At least not yet.

There are lots of types of kissing. From a quick peck to a deap throated make out session. Just start from the beginning and work your way up. So if you want to keep it casual, then keep your eyes open and your mouth closed until you really like a guy.

Hello Sun,

I would be careful if I were you. You may send off the wrong message to this guy.

Although kissing is fun, it also can lead into something much more.

I agree that there are different kinds of kissing, however, I don't think you are looking for a peck here and a peck there. I believe you are looking to kiss him and to be kissed passionatley. So just be careful.

Also, I would be concerned that he may want more from you. He may want a serious relationship with you. So beware of his feelings too.

I would just play it safe and make sure no one gets hurt.

Good luck.

I think a goodnight kiss is nice,and it can round off an evening quite well.

Its good that you are aware of your boundries,and that you know what you want,telling the guy your not interested in a serious relationship straight away will at least arm him with the correct facts.

I don't think a kiss is going to lead to a full blown sexual encounter if you don't want that,and if he knows that too.

Go with what your comfortable with,dating is fun,your 18! Have fun,enjoy his company,if your not comfortable with a kiss by all means don't do it.

Try to think of kissing as a handshake. You go out you had a nice time, so you shake somebodys hand, Not to firm, just enough to say thank you for a nice team. You had a really great time and hope you can be friends, you give a firm handshake and place your other hand over the handshake hand which shows sincerity. If things are really going well then you give the handshake, bang elbows, high five, and maybe a hug.

Now the same rules apply to dating. You don't give more than a peck on the first date, By the third, you start to feel a little more confident, and the lips start to get bitten, and the mighty tongue makes it's appearance, Now the ugly red flag appears. You are not ready or comfortable with this kind of connecting, so make your kisses short and sweet with mouth closed, and he will be back someday for another nibble, and you will retain you reputation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

Try to think of kissing as a handshake. You go out you had a nice time, so you shake somebodys hand, Not to firm, just enough to say thankyou for a nice team. You had a really great time and hope you can be friends, you give a firm handshake and place your other hand over the handshake hand which shows sincerity. If things are really going well then you give the handshake, bang elbows, high five, and maybe a hug.

Now the same rules apply to dating. You don't give more than a peck on the first date, By the third, you start to feel a little more confident, and the lips start to get bitten, and the mighty tongue makes it's appearance, Now the ugly red flag appears. You are not ready or comfortable with this kind of connecting, so make your kisses short and sweet with mouth closed, and he will be bcak someday for another nibble, and you will retain you reputation.

I would give you a greenie, but I have to spread the love.

I agree with you, that's a very good analogy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

Try to think of kissing as a handshake. You go out you had a nice time, so you shake somebodys hand, Not to firm, just enough to say thankyou for a nice team. You had a really great time and hope you can be friends, you give a firm handshake and place your other hand over the handshake hand which shows sincerity. If things are really going well then you give the handshake, bang elbows, high five, and maybe a hug.

Now the same rules apply to dating. You don't give more than a peck on the first date, By the third, you start to feel a little more confident, and the lips start to get bitten, and the mighty tongue makes it's appearance, Now the ugly red flag appears. You are not ready or comfortable with this kind of connecting, so make your kisses short and sweet with mouth closed, and he will be bcak someday for another nibble, and you will retain you reputation.

Thanks Enigma, but I just woke up and read this post that I wrote in the middle of the night. I think I was delirious. It did crack me up, but it did sound a little wacky. I mean all that just to advise someone to move at a slow pace in a relationship. Hopefully the OP won't substitute a handshake for a goodnight kiss on her next date, but if she does there probably won't be a second date.