I have this amazing friend and we always used to hang around at college it wasn't until, the last year that we got to become really close friends and I started having feelings for her, I have told her that I am straight because I have never thought about being a lesbian before. I have always liked Guys. When she is around I don't take notice of guys like I do with my other friends and when she isn't here I become interested in guys. I want to talk to someone about it but I don't know if it is genuine or if it is just a thing I am going through. Help me please. Tell me what to do.

How old are you? Please be honest, if you want an honest answer. (Age would make a difference especially regarding your development.)

I am 18 years old

I am 18 going to be 19 this month

I doubt if it's love. It's more like infatuation, feelings of admiration for your friend. Though it can be very powerful. It can even be enough to make you want to sexually express it, especially if you're still very young - at 18 going on 19 - and in the process of exploring life, love, and yourself. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think it's normal. There's no need to put yourself in a box, i.e. lesbian box, especially at this time.

However, if you decide to act on your feelings, then you must think it through very well to avoid any unwanted consequences.

I have a female friend, 21 at that time, who got involved with another female. They were fresh out of college and there was some inexplicable attraction between them. Both are gorgeous girls and had no histories of being lesbians, one of them even had a boyfriend at that time. To make the long story short, they went with the flow and allowed themselves to "fall" for each other. They were together for a while and went their separate ways in the end, but not without both facing religious condemnation, one of them losing a boyfriend, one of them deciding that she's not really a lesbian, and both learning about STD the hard way.

The bottom line is that sometimes we can't help how we feel, but we can help what we do about those feelings. We are responsible for our own actions.

Tara, thank you for responding with your age.

Is she a lesbian or bi-sexual? You don't actually say. IF she is, has she made advances or communicated to you that she finds you attractive? If so, then think about whether it may be curiosity about a type of relationship that is foreign to you. Do you fantasize about her when she isn't around?

How do you feel about her when you aren't together? When you think about her as a person, not your reaction to her, is the feeling more than sexual or friendship?

I agree with not labeling yourself. When it comes to relationships, labels tend to add confusion instead of clearing it up.

I will add that if either of you are in current relationships, then neither of you are available to act on any feelings or attraction there might be between you.

She is lesbian, Indnt think she has made any advances, we play flirt all the time either when we are together and on msn, but don't know if she is serious or not, did a question type thing and filled it out,had questions like "ever had a crush on me?" and "thought about hooking up with me" both came back positive, but I'm not sure. The only close thing to fantasising is dreams once or twice, not too often.
When we aren't together I feel lonely and of course I miss her seems we are really close. When I think about her as a person the feeling is more friendship I would say. None of us are in a current relationship.
Thank you for your time in answering to my question.

Thank you for your help and giving some of your time in answering my question

*I don't

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jheep

I have a female friend, 21 at that time, who got involved with another female. They were fresh out of college and there was some inexplicable attraction between them. Both are gorgeous girls and had no histories of being lesbians, one of them even had a boyfriend at that time. To make the long story short, they went with the flow and allowed themselves to "fall" for each other. They were together for a while and went their separate ways in the end, but not without both facing religious condemnation, one of them losing a boyfriend, one of them deciding that she's not really a lesbian, and both learning about STD the hard way.

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You seem to know a lot of people who are/are not lesbians.

Amazes me how you always make it sound so depressing... I wonder why

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