I used to be rockstar till the age 24... popular and loved and in command of my own life..

Then I discovered l.s.d, and abused it for months... I have quit all drugs and substances, I am 29 now... but I suffer from extreme mood swings, and depressive states. Sometimes I feel I have become retarded.. as if I am still a kid and don't want to grow up.. my mind lacks a peaceful equilibrium which we all have as a basic.. I have tired some medication which except bloating me up and making me a zombie hasn't achieved much.

My work hasn't suffered though, thankfully, yet I can't trust people completely and be free with them, I feel scared , or very low on confidence and self esteem. And there are days when I am blazing without a care in the wolrld, where I have answers for everything.. I feel like a fish out of the river.. if you can understand me please help..

Thank you.

Salil.

Was it your family physician or a psychiatrist who prescribed the medication that made you feel like a zombie? I would recommend you see a psychiatrist, if you haven't seen one. Tell the psychiatrist exactly what you have stated in this post plus any additional information about your mood swings. They have more experience in prescribing the type of medication you need. It is important that you be able to tell your doctor every thing. If you have a doctor who doesn't listen to you or you can't talk to... then find a different one. Don't give up. Lots of people have mood disorders. There is help available, but sometimes (unfortunately) people may have to change doctors or therapists to find that help.

Hi sadiesmom..

I don't like psychiatrists, they are frauds... and tell you what you all ready know... I need someone who has had a similar experience, and how he/she tackled it.. I need some mediction for a while for sure.. some "love all" pill.. I wish I could smoke pot again, but the paranoia is too intense, I want to trip again I guess... but I cant... I am stuck in a loop, which is causing these mood swings...

I need something that will throw me out of this hole...

Regards.. and happy new year!

Salil.

My advice, read the memoirs by Augusten Burroughs, not exactly the same thing, but try them, you can really relate (he's the author of running with scissors, start with that one)

Have you considered joining an NA or AA group ?


If the case is that you are coming down from a high, I don't think a pill to take you into a new one is going to help you in this case. looking to replacing the drug with another is still running away from reality and just putting off the recovery from addiction altogether.

(disclaimer: I am not a psychologist who can make a professional assertion about your need for mental meds. If you have something underlying that is existant within your mental health such as ADD or something else, only a qualified doctor can determine this)

At the moment from what you have offered, your problem seems more to do with recovery from addiction than it does a straight out mental problem. And it will take a whole different step than a doctor with a pill bottle.


from reading what you wrote, you are not liking reality because it's missing the high that you liked so much. Now that you've come down, in comparison you're not as happy with what reality has offered.

If this is the case, what you need right now is friends, support and understanding and someone to help you take the right steps in your new lifestyle. Most of all, you need to surround yourself with positivity.

I'm gonna be striaight with you, reality isn't always pretty. Generally speaking. What you are facing is very big and scarey world right now and you need some friends to help you with that.
Trust is a very rare thing now a days. Look at every day living.
Everyone locks their car when they go out. They lock their house when they go out. Terror alert is at an all time high. We all pay taxes. We have to struggle to keep a job. Sometimes people at the job are jackasses. Sometimes our hours are too long. And most people are still searching for what will eventually bring them their happiness.

Everyone's living in paranoia and have things to be depressed about.

And you dont' want to be taking new steps alone into this kind of world. You need support in the beginning to help you fight through this muck because it's all new to you.

I think during recovery, we get stuck in a cycle with stinking thinking which is very common when dropping drugs and drinking.
We focus on the bad that we tried to run away from so much that we get weak under it without the vice.

When that happens, I think it's time to start surrounding yourself with something that's good.
Positive people for one. You know how much affect a really unhealthy person has on another? Lots. They can win you over into a bad reality. Hijacking your reality basically. And if you had drug friends, they'll make it all the more harder bringing you down with their bad stuff. I remember as a teen experimenting a little too much, the moment I quit all drugs and alcohol, my drug friends didn't want to hang out with me because our realities conflicted.
When you're druggin it up, you live in the highs and lows with them.
Most people get really merged into that and never walk out. So consider yourself strong for doing it.

i think you'll find the positive types of surroundings in a group like NA. They are there for people feeling lost about what happens after. And they are just people, not anyone analyzing you like a psychologist will.. and they are about being candid and comfortable with yourself so it's a pretty safe place to be. Also, you get assigned a sponsor so that if you are having a particularly bad day and crave something to help you get through it, you have a friend that will remind you and help you take the high road.


PS: take one day at a time.