We got married last april2005 and I was pregnant that time for almost 6months.We had 2 kids and I delivered my first baby(5years old now) july2005, 3 months after our marriage.We live together in one house but he doesn't have job that time.We are happy but doubt is always with me because he fooled me already when we are still boyfrends and girlfrends,but I do really love him and always forgive him.We are happy with our daughter,but time came that he went back to his mothers house and decided to go schooling again.And that was the time that he seen his x-girlfriend (same time that I was his girlfriend also). April 2008, I delivered my son but after 3months(July6,2008 ),I found his mobile and accidentally I read all the messages. I want to cry that time because I found out that he has another daughter with that x girlfriend( 3years old now)... So its obvious that they fooled me too much.. I confront him about this and asked in a nice way,but of course he denied everything! What I did, I inform his mother(my mother in law) regarding this issue but she told me that she cannot blame her son(my husband) because HE IS ONLY A MAN!! What a **** answer!! Next step, I send sms to that flirt girl and I asked if everything is true.Then she told me YES and my husband family knows everything!! I don't know what to do that time and just suffer and sicked... I decided to apply abroad and to go far from him. Until now I am sacrifing being far with my 2 kids... Now, I don't want to trust any man.. because they say that man is an animals.. (sorry).. Kindly advise me what to do.. I want to have a good family with my kids... I am hoping for your advise... Thanks for this ad... just call me hotmamaems...

There isn't anything acceptable about your husband's behavior, he took an oath in marriage and a commitment in a relationship, that he broke. His family apparently contributes to his inability to accept consequences for his actions, explaining this is just part of 'being a man'.

Good men do not behave this way, they value and respect their committed partners. Although you have trust issues because of this situation, you can only work now to heal yourself. Take time to develop your relationship with just you and your children. Do not look to replace your husband right now.

First, and foremost I’m sorry that you had to go through situation heart goes out to you. After reading your post I was angry.

“He is just a man” This is an insult for all the real men out there. This sorry punk ***, coward has got the nerve to consider himself a man.
Now, you had every right to go through his phone. You don’t have sugar coat thoughts on this forum how do you accidentally read something?

People have to stop being love blinded.

Love suppose to be transparent. My wife has all my passwords I have all hers. My phone is always unlocked there are times I forget my phone at home. If she wants to see my phone and all the contacts she can. If she wants to call and confirm that they are who I say they are that’s fine to. Check my Face book Real men don’t have to hide.

You love him but he doesn’t love you. Don’t give up on trusting men give up on this coward.

Go back home to your kids, and be a good mom, and tell him to go back to his mama.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Yes, and I assume you will be posting in the legal section about filing for divorce and getting him to pay child support on the children

In taking good care of my kids, do you think he still loves me or what?or he just missing me because I'm far from them?god... but I don't know my feelings now because if I we are chatting,he is showing his face and I don't want to see him also.. but if he is sending me a message sometimes, I feel that I still love him.. what is this?I cannot understand myself..

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Originally Posted by hotmamaems

i cannot understand myself..

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I can't understand you either :confused:

Maybe a bit more solid information regarding your relationship would help people give you advice.

You definitely need to provide a little more information about your relationship.

How long had you been with him?

What kind of relationship did you have?

What broke you up?

Are the kids his?

One thing I can say for sure is, if you don't know whether you want to be with him or not and aren't sure if you love him or not, then just stay away.

Your threads were merged, and there is no need to start new questions about the same thing. Thats confusing to other readers. Keep your comments and responses in one place, on this thread.




Of course you don't understand your feelings, you have been deeply hurt, and are confused as to what you should do about it. Anyone in your situation would be. Of course you are angry with what he has done, and how he has handled himself, and his families attitude. Its all quite disgusting to you, and rightfully so.

He has broken your trust yet again, but it will be some time before all those intense feeling subside, and you can think rationally about what you will do about this situation. Running away from your problems never helps solve them, but maybe taking time to deal with your feelings is a good solution for now, so just give yourself time, as you are the only one to judge how he feels about you.

Maybe it would be wise to just stop chatting for a while, as you get your own mind together, and he can just stew in his own juice. But lets be straight while you are confused, and angry, about YOUR part in this.

You chose him as a mate and he screwed up.

You chose to forgive him and he screwed up again.

He has led a double life with another baby mama, for 3 freakin' years without your knowledge.

I really don't think it matters if he loves you or not, because his actions say he doesn't love himself enough to be a real man and be honest with those he claims to love, and that makes him a deceitful liar, who screws up big time, over and over, again.
Had you not discovered what was going on, would he have told you? I doubt it.

So its not whether he loves you or not that's important. What's important is do you deserve that kind of love? I think not, and you know that for yourself, already.