My fiancé died Oct 1st, 2009. Since then I have been lost to myself, my family and friends. I've turned to drugs and alcohol to numb any feelings that I may have. I want to start over and have recently stopped drinking and drugging to focus on what I need to do to begin life again. I'm just beginning to look for a job and an apt. But I'm lost and don't know how to find the resources to help me begin my journey back to life. Where do I start? Where is the best place to begin? I've alienated everyone in my life so now I'm completely alone. Please help...

I'm glad you found us! I commend you on choosing to get back into the real world!

Where to start... what about connecting with a counselor to help you set up some goals and start working on them. Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services or your county human resources department or an area church should be able to steer you toward a good counselor. Or ask a reference librarian at your local public library -- the library will have a list of area resources including counselors and people who can get you started as you move you back into life. Also, you can Google the appropriate keywords plus your town or county name to find resources.

What do you think? And we are always here to answer questions and do some cheerleading.

Agree with everything Wondergirl said - and I will add that you can ALWAYS approach people you have alienated and tell them what you just told us. You chose drugs and alcohol to dull the pain, you're working on changes, you are sorry (sorry being the important word) for any pain you caused. I'm sure some people will remain turned away but others will understand. Anyone who has been in your shoes WILL understand.

Your loss is so recent (and when it's a death, one year is a very short period of time) that you are probably still knocked off your feet.

Set some realistic goals, work toward them one at a time in the ways Wondergirl suggested, and most importantly - forgive yourself. You took a very hard hit and everyone handles these things in a different manner.