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I have a best friend who is a guy, he is married, I know his wife but not super well. We do lunch together and grab coffee all the time. I am 22 and he is 33. Tonight I was babysitting there kids and when they got home we all were watching some TV, the wife says she is going to bed but just went to go get into her PJ's and comes out in her boyshort panties and T-shirt! Acting like it is so normal.. Is this me over staying my welcome, a jealous wife or a whole new level of comfort?
It could be both.Quote:
Originally Posted by XJollyMX
Perhaps she feels comfortable wearing that around you. After all, it is her house. Or, she could be marking her territory.
How long have you known this man, who is your best friend?
Have you ever asked him if his wife is OK with the fact that you two are close?
I have to say, I am kind of surprised that his wife allows her husband to hang out with not only a woman, but a 22 year old woman as much as he does.
Were you two friends before they got married?
At this stage, it is hard to say if it is comfort or jealousy. Are there any other indications that she has said/done to make you think it could be jealousy?
Would you be comfortable with a younger woman hanging out with your husband, having lunch, being really close friends. Not many woman would be over joyed with this relationship. If she is being descent to you and not demanding to her husband to end your friendship then you have to give her a lot of respect for that.
When they get a bablysitter its usually because they want to spend adult time together and when they get home, its time for babysitter to leave. She may of wanted to continue that adult time, without babysitter sticking around taking her husbands attention away from her. If this friendship is something you want to keep, then you need learn to not cross certain boundries, that way she as his wife doesn't feel theatened
Quote:
Originally Posted by answerme_tender
Great points here. I had to spread the rep.:)
I do have one more question for the OP, are YOU jealous of him and his wife's relationship?
I believe wife may have been trying to drop a hint for you to leave without sounding rude and saying "okay. Thanks for babysitting. Now get out of my house" I also agree on this VVV
Quote:
Originally Posted by answerme_tender
I think his wife handled herself beautifully.
She essentially told you, that it was time for you to go.
She is also saying, why are you still here.
She is also saying, you have coffee with him, I have marriage with him.
She is also saying, babysitters shouldn't overstay their welcome. Once the babysitting is done, you should go to your own home.
It is no different than having a dinner guest stay too long after dinner. Eventually, when they don't get it, it's time to go, the evening is done and overwith, and you have to clang pots and pans, run the dishwasher, take out the vacuum, open the front door, and start their car for them to catch on.
I don't know if you have coffee dates with other 'best friends' who happen to be married, but surely you know you shouldn't be doing what you're doing.
And neither should he.
Jake ---
I am still enjoying the "start their cars for them" part of your post!! (LOL) --thanks it put a giggle in my day
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to answerme_tender again.
She sent a very clear message, its time to go because "your friend has business to attend to". You were overstaying your welcome, I doubt she was jealous at all, but she is tactful.
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again.
Ah so that's how you get rid of the overstayers... :)
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