I am recently divorced and signed up to join Facebook. I am 54 and very single. I found a old girlfriend I still have feelings for. We dated when we were 13, 14, and 15. I have never forgot about her. I found her on Facebook but she is very married. She sent me a message saying she was glad I found her and to keep in touch.. I sent her back a message generic and careful not to come on to her. The last thing I want to do is mess up her marriage and life. I am frustrated but my friends have told me to forget it and not be in contact with her at all. All kind of emotions all consuming me right now. I know they are right and can only think what if things could have been different.

Your friends are very right. I am 56, and even I know you can't go back to 15.

I think it is only natural, when you are lonely, and on your own, that you would remember the good times. Those good times for most of us, were those tumultuous years, with intense relationships, lots of friends, being carefree and fancyfoot as the saying goes. Life was, in retrospect, rosey, and really quite luxurious considering our only concern was for ourselves. Parents took care of everything else. The real world was not yet on the agenda, and we thought we'd live forever.

As an adult, the relationships revolved around couples when you were married. Obligations, responsibilities, maturity, all took over those now gone, youthful days. Kids come along, time passes more quickly, life is hard. Mortgages, bills to pay, car insurance. You become lost in the present while working on just getting by day to day, toward the future.

Then the future stops. The marriage ends, and you are on your own. Time slows down and reflection sets in. The good, the bad, the indifferent, present times, past times, new possibilities, old flames, a new lifestyle, remembering the old lifestyle. Wishing and wondering if there may not be perhaps a balance between the two.

If you were to rekindle a part of your life with an old girlfriend, that would put you back in a fun, fondly remembered place, and who wouldn't want to taste that again.

But, it is a part of your past. And while my opinion is, visiting the past to better, simpler times is a nice place to go in a daydream, the truth is, that time has moved on, and is now, this time.

As much as you have lived, loved, learned, and discovered about life and all that entails, so too has she. She has a husband, likely a family, and like you, most likely remembers the times of long ago, when the two of you had great times together, that you thought would never end.

But they did.

To keep in touch with her may not be a good idea. You said the divorce is just recent, and emotions are likely still raw. Take some time just for you, without anybody else in it, and indulge in finding yourself again, and planning your future. Only when you are strong again, can you consider another woman in your life, and hopefully, she will be someone new, and you will find love again, without trying to re-live the past.

My advice to you, is to leave the past in the past, settle with the present, and keep moving toward the future.

Amazing to me that you were able to connect with someone from your childhood. I personally have never forgotten my first girlfriend { I was around 12 myself}. Lets see, you were a couple around 40 years ago. Do you really think for one second that after all these years you could destroy her marriage, even if you had the chance? Not likely. You are the one that is available, not her. So your friends are correct, forget it. You are not still in love with her. You just need to start dating again. And believe me, if you were to keep contacting her, you will become nothing more than a distraction to her. Meet new girls, and leave the past... in the past..