I've been divorced since June 2008 and my ex-husband and I attempted to get back together this past February. We have two children already. Things went way too fast, I ended up pregnant (against my will) the first weekend he came to town (we live in different states). I took a vacation, spoke with my parents, and they advised me to get an abortion and break up with my ex-husband. I tried talking with him about it, and I kept the baby, but he basically wrote me off and said good luck. Now we have this baby due in about 3 weeks, he is taking a few days off to come to the birth and sign for the baby's birth certificate, and plans to leave.

Recently he started speaking to me again, and we talked about life for a couple of hours, baby names, him coming to the birth, how miserable his life is, and the next day he was "in a relationship" with someone else where he lives. He wants to stay on good terms with me, and said he might change his mind but he probably won't change his mind. Call me crazy, but I would do anything to bring him home and have him be a father to his children -- they are so torn up about this whole mess (ages 5 & 6). Do you think that perhaps once the baby comes and is "real" and he can't avoid it anymore he may come to grip that he has responsibility other than practically paying me the equivalent of rent for his 3 children for the next 15 + years? I told him that no amount of child support can replace having their father in the home, and he agreed with me, but he is acting rather stubborn.

You can not, and should not consider trying to force him or twist his arm to come back just because of the baby, first it will not work, next it cheapens a relationship.

Consider how it was going before the baby, still not right or good, so if it is going to work, it has to be slow and given time.

Sweetie, if having a baby by him was going to change him, he would have changed 5-6 years ago. I feel for you I really do. My man and I have 3 together and it took him so long to finally want me, and I am not sure that he really does. I think he is just here because his kids are. But I know how bad you are hurting right now. And if I had stuck it out and stayed away when he finally wanted me back again, I would probably be happy right now. I know it hurts, you are pregnant, alone and emotional, but I would suggest some therapy or maybe a group for single mother to get you through. If you have to change a man or wait for him, he isn't worth it baby!

All you can really do is give him time. Has he seen the impact this is having on his children? Maybe that will provoke a change of heart in him. All I know is, a baby will not make him stay if he doesn't want to be with you. Also, a baby is not a reason to get back together with someone. You need to love each other. Also what do you mean you got pregnant against your will? Did he rape you?

Would you please explain why you divorced him back in 2008.

Pregnancy against your will is sex against your will which equals a criminal act. Have you reported this to the Police?