I have been with my boyfrend for 4 and a harf months his 48 and I'm 51. He has a small manhood and his submisive. I go out with my friends on a Friday we go dancing . And he don't mind me going . But he wants to know when I dance with a guy and wants me to tell him if the guy gets a hard on. As it turns him on if I say yes . I don't like it and I've told him he said he don't want me to go off with a guy or anything like that . He said its because his small and submiveive . We do have sex with help . And he says he is in love with me . But I find this strange. I want him to say something like grrrr I don't like that . But he keeps saying its because of his problem . Do you think that's normal ? Carol ps sorry about my spelling

Maybe a bit weird for you, strange maybe, but what's normal for many, is not for others. If you want something from him, say so, as he asks things of you, doesn't he?

While personally I don't think you should be going out without him, that is my opinion. But what is right and normal for you, is just that, everyone has their own thing, some the men may like to dress in high heels and hose, in others they may want to only do it in other rooms besides bedroom.

Next "small" is a term that has no real bearing, and if he has an issue, it is his, and should not be yours, since every girl I have ever known can be pleased very well with her own finger and every man normally is larger than that. And again, most pleasure should be coming from foreplay and fun play.

Hello Blondie,

Do you ever make him feel good about himself? Reassuring him that his size is fine with you?

I can understand where you are coming from, I'm not sure if I would like that either. Also, as Tal said, what one finds weird, another may not.

Have you really talked to him about your concerns?

It's too soon in the relationship to be having issues.

If this all stems from the fact that he has a issue with the size of his penis, then I would certainly make him feel better about it.

And if this is a fantacy that he has and you don't like it, then you eed to be honest.

One thing that really stuck out in your post, is why if you have a boyfriend are you dancing with other men?

This coming from a Submissive:

Penis size has nothing to do with this. He is using it as way to gain your sympathy and get his way.

He isn't being submissive. He is being dominant. A common term is Topping from Below. He is controlling the relationship and getting what he wants by making you fill his need/desire.

Is that normal? For some people, yes. However, both individuals should discuss and be okay with it. If you aren't, tell him. Discuss it and come to a compromise or end the relationship.

IF he truly is submissive/dominant, it won't stop with telling him about other men you dance with. It will go into other behaviors and actions.

Quite frankly, I think he is turning you into the sub. I am not sure if he is getting aroused by your tales of the evenings dancing or your discomfort in telling him about them. If it is your discomfort then he is playing a very different game than he is trying to convince you he is playing.

You need to decide for yourself if you are willing to learn more about his sexual world and where he sees your place in it. Does it satisfy your needs? Is he willing to compromise so that both of you are happy with the relationship?

Hi there I have spoken with him since I put this question up on this site.And he has told me that there are rules and he don't want me looking for guys to dance with or anything like that or go out to find guys to talk to . Thank you for your answer

Yes I have and we had a good chat about it all.. thank you

You see I love going out dancing.. And we have now had a very good chat about it . And its not as bad as I first thought. He don't want me to get off with any of thease guys. And he said if I don't want to tell him things that's fine . He don't want me to take phone numbers or kiss them witch I wouldent anyway . He has told me he is very much in love with me and I'm just going to see how things go for a wile . It has taken me a few days to get my head around all this.

Yes I have asked things of him . We have had a good chat about it . He told me his only been like this for 4 years. I think its his way of copeing as his imatent but we do have good sex and I'm in love with him and his in love with me .He has said he won't falce me do do anythig I don't want to do . If I'm not happy daceing with oyher guys he said don't do it

Thank you for getting back to me. You see I love going out dancing and he don't. I have now had a very good chat with him . And its not quite as bad as I first thought .

Yes hun I always make him feel good about himself . He don't want me to have sex with any one just to dane with them and flert a bit . We have had a long talk about it .And I'm a bit happer now . Thank you for getting back to me

Glad you got this all straightened out. And if you enjoy going out dancing with your friends, then you should continue to go. You sound like a faithful woman, and he sounds like he trusts you. Doesn't sound like a problem, on the contrary it sounds like the two of you have great communication and a very healthy relationship. Now that's a rare thing on these relationship forums.