"i've been with my bf for 9months now, and i really trusted him before. like he's very confident in everything about him and telling me everything that's going on around him and what he's been doing. the only thing that i complain about him is he spends his time more on his ps3 than me, well at first i was very upset but because i love him so much i tried to understand him. but recently i caught him texting this girl that he met online on ps3! i was so mad and i acted like a psycho...why can't he spend time with me? but he can spend his time flirting with somebody he doesn't even know...and he told me that it was just a bet with his friends. i broke up with him for a week, but because im so desperate to be with him i took him back again. now my problem is, i dont know how to trust him again and everytime he tell's me that he's going somewhere i always think that he's lying. even if his phone rings i feel like it's a girl!!! im really thinking like a total psycho and i dont like it. it's not fair for the both of us.what will i do??? i really love this man and i really dont want to ruin this relationship because of my trust issues...please can u give me some advice?"

Practice thinking before you act, or speak, and find a better way to vent your anger, frustration, and surprise, and eventually you will cope with YOUR feelings much better, and make better decisions based on facts, and not just feelings.

Then you can deal with your trust issues after you overcome your fears, and insecurities.

It also helps to not depend on someone else's constant attentions, to make you feel good about yourself, or make you happy, that's your job, and if you weren't so desperate to hold on to someone who doesn't make you his highest priority, you would see you have better options, and opportunities to have a boyfriend that you can trust, and won't be insecure about in the first place.

Yes, I can give you some advice. Grow up a little and don't spend time on trivialities. Laugh this off, it is only texting, it is only looking, it is only him being a man. Enjoy your man without self imposed drama. So he was texting a girl on line and you acted like a psycho, that must have looked really mature.

Tick

I agree with Tal And Tickle. You realize that you are acting like a baby. People of all ages, not just young people like you, too often start believing they own that person just because that person loves them. Don't get so jealous over such little things, it only shows you as a weak, immature and needy person.
Show a little independence, do something's you enjoy that doesn't include him, keep busy and you won't have so much time worrying about every little thing he is doing. Stop relying on his actions to prevent you from acting like a "Psycho" as you put it. If you don't cut him some slack, you will push him into doing more things that you don't like. Ultimately, you could push him right out of your life. So calm down, he's not doing anything wrong.

I've been with my boyfriend for 10months, he's 27 a very masculine type of man and I'm 23.. the first 4months was amazing he was very caring and thoughtful... but when we reached the fifth month till now he totally changed. He use to call me everyday to check on me, if how's my day or just to talk to me. But now he's not doing it anymore, at first I didn't mind it cause I thought it's my turn to do the favor for him so I'm the one who always calls him everyday. I'm just wondering why he's not doing it anymore, what kind of a boyfriend is he if he can't call me the whole week?? I asked him if we have any problem cause he's not calling me anymore and he said there's nothing wrong... it's just a conflict of our schedule cause he works at night as a nurse and I work at day time as a secretary. But why can't he do it when we used to do it before? Is it because he's comfortable that our relationship is stable? We only see each other every weekend on our day off, but sometimes he won't see me cause he had to go somewhere and we're only 10minutes away from each other and I just don't get why it's so hard for us to see each other. He never told me that he love me, he said he cares a lot for me... and it's going to take time for him to fall in love with somebody. On my side I'm really in love with him and he know's that. I don't know if there's a third party or something.

The problem with him is he won't compromise... and I'm willing to do anything for him I really want to take care of him, I want to always be there for him. Every time I try to do something for him he's telling me not to do it, it seems like he's pushing me away and he's afraid of something. Whenever we get very close or if sometimes we're together all the time the next day I don't hear anything from him, he's always backing off. And it confuses me so much... I can see that he cares for me cause of some things that he did, he even introduced me to his family even if I know in the back of my mind that they don't like me cause they are indian and I'm not one of them... and from what he told me his mom wants him to marry his own kind. But still he keeps on taking me to his house and he's not hiding me from them. He even took me for a vacation out of the country and I didn't spend anything... so I can tell that he cares about me or am I wrong??

I'm still waiting for him to tell me that he loves me but I'm getting tired. I don't want him to like me or care for me, I want him to love me. I want to stay in this relationship cause I love him but with I guy who don't know how to compromise I don't know if it's all worth it...

Should I stay or should I just let him go??

The honeymoon is over, and reality is setting in, and for sure you are still having a hard time adjusting, because you are way more into him, than he in you. I think you are pushing to hard, expecting too much, and not getting it, and not seeing things for what they are. A learning period. Maybe your not that ready for what each other wants, and this is where you talk, and decide if this is worth continuing.

For sure though you are emotionally deeper invested than he is and need to get on the same page or go your own ways.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.


Girl you sound so desperate you give me a headache.
This guy is not into you at all and you are so desperate you refuse to see you guys are not on the same page.
Leave him alone. You are not a priority to him. In fact it sounds to me like you're not much at all to him.

He is not the only guy in the world. Stop hanging on to a spider web. Desperation is not attractive. If you have to try that hard with a guy, he's not yours.

I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago cause I felt like he's really getting cold and I noticed that so many things have changed and I just can't go on with that kind of relationship. I really love this guy and I'm willing to do everything for him but no matter what I do he's pushing me away from him, he's been telling me that he cares for me a lot!! But it's not enough for me, I want him to love me too. I know that it's not right to ask somebody to love you that's why I did myself a favor, I broke up with him cause I know that I have to face the truth and I don't want to dig a bigger hole for myself and cry myself to death one day cause of the pain...

I'm having such a hard time at work cause I work with him and everybody around are asking me about us and it's really hurting me.and the worst thing is sometimes at night he calls me and tells me that he still care about me. I told him to leave me alone and to just let go of me. I don't believe him cause I don't see it and he's not making any effort to prove it. What will I do?? I just want to move on... but I can't help but to get confused and I get so depressed with everything that's happening to us.

Advice please...

I've been in your position - I broke up with my ex in May after 7 years together and we work at the same company. We had a house, mortgage, joint bank accounts - the whole lot.

The best thing you can do now is to not speak to him - that means no emails at work, no taking calls day or night, no texts... nothing. You broke it off for a reason.

You also need to tell your friends at work to either stop asking you about what's going on or just straight up tell them its over and you don't want to talk about it. Going into work and facing questions like that is not nice for anyone, so do yourself a favour and ask them to stop!

It takes time to get past these things and in time I've learnt to deal with us working together and all live with people knowing that we're no longer an item, but you reach a point where you're just not bothered anymore - you might not be able to imagine that, but I can assure you, you'll get there.

Thanks so much for the advice barry it's a lot of help... right now I'm having such a hard time to deal with it but I know that it's going to get better...