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I was interested in a guy at work and he was interested in me but I'm very passive and shy and I guess I didn't respond to his flirtations the way he wanted. He ended it and has been dating a younger woman. He usually dates younger women but I look a lot younger so maybe he thought I was in his range. I still like him. Is there any way to restore his interest or should I even bother? I also know that he's over 35 and has lived with a male roommate for a long time. Is he just too immature anyway?

To me, you ended up staying out trouble. I don't recommend dating anyone that you work with. It makes relationships and their private issues very awkward.

If he is currently dating someone, then he is off-limits.

If you know about his dating habits and that he usually dates younger women, then that is a sign that his relationships are the talk of the 'office'. I wouldn't want to be the one being talked about, do you?

It sounds like he is having fun and playing 'Work Place Don Juan'. Is that what you are looking for in a relationship?

He is being who he is. He is a man who likes younger women.
Work place romances are not good anyway.
Why bother?

There is good and bad news to your situation. The bad news... I think that whatever chance you may have had is gone. But as the others said before me, you are better off not getting involved with someone you work with. Now the good news. You said he has a male roommate. Ask him if he could fix you up with him. At least he's not a co-worker..

I posted a similar question before because I'm a non-traditional student and last fall my professor seemed to show an interest in me. I really liked him and there was a semester of flirtation. At the end of the semester, I was ill but I went to class anyway. He was giving back papers and I just had to get out of there so I couldn't get mine. I had to walk right out the door past him. He seemed annoyed then in the next class made a comment in the lecture aimed at me that it was over. I'm really shy so I didn't approach him about it. I hadn't seen him again since this fall when I have to be in 2 of his classes. I'm still very attracted to him but he's showing nothing of what he did for me before. I wouldn't mind so much but now he's flirting with some other girl in the class who ironically sits where I did last year. I'm admittedly no supermodel but this girl is really not attractive. She's a real suck up though. Also, I look young but she's actually 20 years younger than he is. Going to class is horrible for me and even though the semester's almost over I know I won't be able to stop thinking about him and that because I was sick that night, I blew it and he decided I wasn't worth his time. Should I even bother to try to get him interested again, and if so, how? It's like he thinks I rejected him so he has to reject me. He even made a comment at the beginning of the semester about me not getting my test, so he definitely remembers. If a guy was that seemingly attracted to you bfore, and I still am to him, how does he just turn it off like that?

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Originally Posted by blupony

how does he just turn it off like that?

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He could lose his job if he dates a student.

I don't think there's any policy against it. Why would he be firlting with someone else now?

Perfect example as ro why you should never get romantically envolved with a teacher, boss, coworker, etc... I definitely question your profs moral and ethical values( I'm sure the educational instutution has firm guidelines on dating students)

This teacher has the upper hand... probably knows that you still feel strongly for him and just toying with your mind. What's more important right now? Your education or dating this teacher? Right now it seems like you are not getting either.

I would finish off the semester, forget about and avoid this teacher, stick to dating guys who are students... life will be much more simple that way.

Get your head of romance books and back into your text book.

From what you have written, he has a game he plays with a new student each semester. I would bet there are a lot of them stretching back into past.

It doesn't matter what this other student looks like. She is a toy to him just like you are. You are now witnessing his game and you still haven't caught on.

I'm interested in this guy who I've been acquainted with for a while. I did some research and he's been living with another guy for a long time-years. He is a little effeminate but he's also in a field where a lot of men are. He's never been married and he and his roommate are both in their 40s. What are the chances that they're cousins or friends who are just living together until they get married? I know I can just ask him out and find out but what s everybody's input?

I would say it could go either way and you never know till you ask. :) good luck hon!

You could ask... after all, I don't know how much he makes or what the cost of living is in your area.

A lot of single people have roommates to share the rent and save money. Many do it for a lot of years. I myself did it for 10 years... until I got married.

He makes enough $ to live alone so it's not financial. Would you have lived with a male roommate into your 40s whether you were married or not?

Is it at all strange for two males with jobs to have been living together for more than 10 years? They're both in their early 40s. They're both employed so I don't think it's financial. They've moved several times and stayed together. One of them is a professor who just got tenured about a year and a half ago. I'm an acquaintance of one but I don't live nearby to know anything about him personally. I'm kind of interested in him though and I don't want to feel like a fool and find out he's gay.

It doesn't matter what YOU would do, or what smoothy would do or what any other man would do. The question is, would THIS man choose to live with another man. Gay or not.

They could be brothers, they could be good friends, or they could be gay. I'd take a chance and ask him out for coffee. If nothing else, you could end up with two new friends.

I have merged your two posts, please do not start a new thread for the same subject

Does it matter if he's gay? Would it make you think less of him?

1. If not, then why worry. It's his choice don't question him.
2. If it does then you don't deserve his friendship!

There isn't a law that you HAVE to have your own place if you are single and can afford it.

Unless he won a huge lottery... he still might preffer to split the costs of everything with a room mate. There ARE people that do it even though they might be able to afford their own place. Like people that are smart enough to put everything they can into a 401K when they are younger for only one example of many.

I have a complicated situation. I am a non-traditional student(over 30) and I recently went back to college. I became very attracted to a professor (in his forties) who initiated a semester-long flirtation. I am very shy and I think I may have accidentally insulted him one night by leaving without picking up a paper he was handing back, after he was staring at me intensely the entire night. After that, he seemed annoyed and made a comment during class directed at me that some things should be experienced in the moment. Prior to that, I'd spoken to my advisor about the policies regarding professor-student interaction and there's nothing against it. He also told me that he was 99% sure this man was gay.

I had him again for another class later in the year and he was nasty to me. He even commented about that night. I wasn't sure how to handle it after what I'd heard but I was still attracted to him. He started flirting more aggressively with another girl in the class. He'd complement her work, smile at her, engage her in conversation whenever possible, talk to her after almost every class, and he even took her picture on a class trip and showed it to the class. Worst of all, he offered her academic perks that he withheld from everyone else. By the end of the semester their interactions seemed more like a couple than a professor and student. I went to the department head because that did cross the line and was unethical. She told me not only that he was gay but that it was known that he had a partner. Is it possible that because he's effeminate and lives with a guy people are inferring he's gay? I looked it up online and he has lived with a guy for 10-15 years but that doesn't prove anything. His area of specialization is one predominated by women. Given the behaviors I witnessed in class, it is extremely hard to believe he's gay. Would a straight man perpetuate a myth of homosexuality to sleep with his students and get away with it?

I'm still attracted to him despite what's happened. I don't know if he's with that girl or not. I think after I questioned him about what he was offering her, he may have thought twice about it. I wasn't in his class but I had to see him last semester and he was again, nasty. I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel and I guess I can't understand why I still have feelings for him and after an entire semester, he was able to turn it off so easily and move on. Even during the semester when he was seemingly pursuing that other female, I know I caught him looking at me at times, in a way that a gay man would not, and, when I spoke to him at the end of that semester, I felt like he was expecting me to say something or ask him out but I was afraid to, given all that happened and the fact that he may be gay or bisexual. At this point, maybe he's just disgusted because he thinks I'm a tease or he's not going to get what he wants from me. I won't be in his class again but I rarely meet anyone I'm interested in. If I really feel strongly about it, should I ask him out or is he unethical and not worth it? I know that a lot of professors end up marrying students but is an ambiguously gay man who goes after females 20 years his junior worth pining over, especially after he was ready to offer virtually anything to a student he's probably not even currently with? Is it at all possible that he truly thinks that he will find his future wife in one of his classes? If so, why does he give up so easily, or am I just being naïve? Why must he only date females from his classes? Could he actually be gay or bisexual? Please help!