My boy friend and I have been on and off for a few years met him when I was 16 I'm 25 now he's 27 we always been good friends then we started dating so anyway he's made stupid decisions in his past he's gottin locked up once when he was 18 gang afiliated then again when he was 23 for 6 months and after that he was on the rit path working hard cut his bullshyt and 5 months ago Thea was a gang bust and all his socall friends were arrested and ratted him out and since he had a past of arrest they took him in he wasn't involved in any of the recent crimes but bcus he is who he is and his past and people decided to throw his name in Thea well now he might be looking at 10 years and it sucks when he was doing wha he needed to be doing and finally maturin and staying away from the problems and bullshyt being a family man now this came at him and I'm in love I've been in love everything was great before this bullshyt and we have spoken about moving in together having a kid marriage and I still want it all I want to b Thea for him I understand if he was up to no good but he hasn't he's been doing rit and his past came and bit him in the *** , and I visit Him and my goal is to mak him luagh the whole time so he doesn't see us sad and he can think positive and I'm happy when he luaghs and jokes around and I'm just thinking 10 years it's a long time and I'm so hea for him I know I can wait I know I can be Thea 100% and we have no kids and we want a kid and hel be what almost 40 I'll be what 36,37 yrs old and am I stupid for wanting to wait am I stupid and crazy to imagine myself willing to marry him in jail and wanting to get pregnant so we won't b too old having a kid when he gets out am I crazy for wanting to have his kid while he does his time I don't know what to think. Help advice any words of wisdom will help :(  

If he was not involved, he needs a good attorney and prove he was not there. I can not believe a "gang" would be turning evidence against a member ( even past member) true or untrue.

But he choose a life and it appears has not been out of the gang life very long ( does he still see and have dealings with them)

But to be blunt the stupid part was being with him this entire time up to now, when he was in the gangs.

Assuming what you say is true, staying with him now is really the right thing if he did turn hisself around

He needs a good attorney. Someone who understands just what he is being charged with and can help show that he is turning his life around.

I am concerned that neither of you may be clear on what he is being accused of. Are you positive he isn't being tried on crimes that he did commit before he got out of the lifestyle?

Being there for him is good. However, you should not look at marriage or children right now. It would be very unfair to him and the child to bring it into this situation. Do you really want to have to explain to your child why he/she can only see daddy on visiting days if he is convicted?

Ppl do change either your going to learn frm your mistakes or keep committin the same stupid mistakes , I was with him
On and off why becus of his stupidity and dealing wit the whole gang bullshyt is why we were OFF! He had a lot to prove and show me if he wanted this work, and he did I drove him myself to jobs after jobs because of his rap sheet it was dificult to find a good job where they'd giv him a chance I drove him till he was able to save up for a car and do wha he needed to do, his so call brothers members turned on him when the bust happened they basically pointed fingers statin it was him who told everyone what to do as if he was the head guy , they were watching him for few years , shyt happened years ago yes so they have that against him. Anyone in ne gang know when they get locked up you look for your buddies thinking they going to have your back and they disappear they going to rat on you so they don't get stuck wit doing crazy time. But that's not my point whatever happened happened, it is what it is now. I met him before he got into the whole gang bullshyt I was young I fell in love wit who he was not wha he could do for me when your young you enjoy the persons company you don't think about how much money you mak wha that person can do for u. Feelings were Thea before and we been through a lot so feelings have grown but now he's looking at 10 years and I want to Thea for him becus I know he was trying to do better so I don't want to abandon him especially in his situation being locked up having that lonely feeling lik he has nobody only his family

This just happened 5 months ago so it's still very early to act on anything. I would neverrrrr everrr try to have a kid wit him now to think my lid would b 10 years old when his father gets locked up negative. If I do do it it would be few years frm now so when he does come out my kid is still a baby 2 , 3 years old. But not now

Please do not use chat speak. It is making it extremely difficult to understand what you are trying to say. It is also against site rules:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.ph...#faq_faq_rules