Hi. I'm 19 and have been married now for 1 1/2 years. I am fed up with the verbal abuse that I get from my husband... he is constantly cursing me and calling me names. I want to leave him and get a divorce, but I don't know how... he would try to find me if I just up and left... I don't want anything out of the marriage except my clothes, and 1 television... I love him and he was my first love, but I just can't stand the abuse anymore... it is driving me crazy!! I have a learners permit, but he won't let me get my license to get me a car so I'm pretty much stuck... what do I do?? Any help?

You got married at 17? Your parents agreed to this? Where are your parents now? Do you have any family to help you? Is he physically abusive? There are shelters out there that can help you. Why not go to a shelter. In my area they protect you completely. I can't see him getting to you there.

Why did you get married at 17 1/2? Do you have a child together?

There are many ways, means, and support to assist you in leaving. Do you have family to help you, or a place to go, or have you tried to leave before now. Do you fear for your safety if you leave? Has he been physically abusive, and are there substance issues involved here?

Before you decide on a course of action, please, if you can, provide a little more information surrounding your circumstances. Thanks.

Yes I was maried at age 17, no we don't have kids, and he has been physical in the past. I don't have any family that will help me, they have all said that I'm on my own... guess I'm stuck here now!! May the verbal and mental abuse continue

Why would they say you were on your own? Is this because they were against the marriage?

Well pity the family that won't pull through and help you.

Do you have any friends? Any that could even drive you someplace safe.

Let's look at the plus side.

You don't have children to worry about, only yourself. You are young, and strong, with your whole life ahead of you. You don't need a man. You don't need, particularly, an abusive man. There are social service agencies, and help, specifically designed to assist women like you, leave an abusive home. And they don't just help you leave, they assist with counselling, legal matters, housing, etc. There is nothing you need, that is not available to you, before,during, and after you leave.

The only key here that will unlock your future, is a sincere desire to change. If you leave without knowing what you are going to do, where you are going to go, and what you need to survive, in place, you will be right back to where you are now. You need to seek out the help that is available in your community.

You can't blame your miserable marriage on your husband, once you accept that you are in control of yourself, and it is only you that will be responsible for your success.

Educate yourself, visit women's organizations, have a plan in place. Seek out guidance from these organizations whose women and voluteers understand where you are now.

IF you are ready to take that step, you won't be alone. That you know you have no family or friends to support you, only means that you will have to be even more dilligent about getting what you need, without them. If you can turn this situation of despair into an opportunity for freedom, there will be no looking back.

It is entirely up to you, and only you, what your next move will be.