Specifically, if a job ap asks for 'professional references' separate from 'personal references' and my work history is such that last 10 years I've been a stay at home mom and frankly professional refs from 10 years ago leave me with choices of 2 dead people and businesses where my old bosses no longer work there, but I do have copies of 2 letters of recommendation written for me from back then, yet the contact #'s on those may not be good to reach those people, anymore, for reasons stated above. Can I use instead things that are probably more personal references, such as principal or teachers at school where I volunteer or mother of kids I've known in scout where I showed kids how to build a birdhouse?

Secondly, if I want to mention someone as a reference, do I need to contact them first to OK it with them or is it OK just to list them?

Thanks!

I would just list personal referencces if your professional ones are old or obsolete, but from what you said about volunteering then the principal or teachers would be a professional reference and I would list them as such.

I would contact anyone that I was considering as a reference, so if they get called, then they will be prepared, plus it is good manners
And the right thing to do.