I feel as though I'm tying up the board, but I have another question and would really appreciate some advice.

My fiancé lived with his father for a few years before we started dating. Due to dad's credit, fiancé signed up for the phone/cable/internet and hydro bill. We moved out together last year,and unfortunately all these bills stayed in my fiance's name.

Fiancé has 2 brothers, and basically a third as that's how the dad acts. The dad lives with his older brother who's addicted to methodone and has been on welfare for five years.
The dad is irresponsible with money and often broke even though he's earned enough over his lifetime to not only own a house, but to have thousands in savings and retirement. However, they're behind on all their bills, rent and often broke a day or two after pay day. My fiancé works with him, does 90% of the work while dad watches Andromeda on a portable DVD player, and the dad makes 65% of the earnings. The brother plays Call of Duty at home.

Anyway, back to the bill situation, since moving into our humble one bedroom, we've signed up for the same company as dad/brother have used and have paid our reasonable bills on time and consistently since. Until last month.

We received a bill for $790.00 for cable/internet transferred from dad/brother's house. Apparently, they didn't pay it and just transferred to a different company and also got satellite television. My fiancé and I don't even have basic cable.

I spent approx. 6 hours on the phone with the company to see if there was any way to transfer the bill to dad/brother's name, to no avail. The debt is our's now, and it's our fault... Although I constantly asked fiancé to cancel their services months ago.

Dad/brother promised to pay this, but they'd rather spend their money on fast food and Xbox games so for reality's sake, I'm assuming we'll pay it. My fiancé constantly tells me "They'll pay it" although I know it's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Last weekend the dad promised $300 (he was paid $1100.00 that week) and I urged my fiancé to collect it before he had spent it on candy or magic beans.
They gave us $50 and I put $200.00 (which I can't really afford) to keep the collectors at bay.

This is my money bailing out a couple of idiots and I've had enough,

I want to talk to them, my fiancé (without him dismissing it) and get this sorted.

Do you want a war or a divorce? This is something that you knew before hand and now its coming to roost. Be diligent about the future and do what you can for now and chalk it up to experience. Otherwise your asking for serious trouble.

Tell your fiancée to cancel the utilities. Have him tell his father and siblings that he is doing so effective x date and if they want these utilities they will have to apply for them in their own names.

Then do so!

He may not get the money he is owed for the past bills, but at least he gets off the hook for the future. If he does NOT do this, then I would break off the engagement since this is going to be a burden for the rest of your life.

By the way, this isn't a legal issue and especially not a Family law issue. It becomes a legal issue if you want to sue the family members for what they owe,

Please don't use the comments feature to post follow-up. Use the Answer options instead.

Didn't you say that your fiance's dad changed to a different company, and that is how you came to know about the debt being transferred to your fiance's new account, in the new place?

It is likely that the bills not paid, were not paid for a long time, and not without notices. They likely got their services with a new company, prior to this bill going to the collection department. And from there, low and behold, your name comes up wanting service (again), and they get you right away.

If you and your fiancé have services in your own apartment, in BOTH your names, I would phone these utilities and have them remove your name. Don't quote me on that one, I'm not a lawyer, but, this is not your debt, and they should not be coming after you.

It was your fiancé who agreed to the arrangement with his father to have everything in his name, but the new service should not be your responsibility. Either open your own account, without your fiance's name, or try to have your name removed from the account.

I would not pay a cent toward his father's debt. That is an outrageous expectation for you to assume.

If your fiancé wishes to tackle that debt, that's his business, and his consequence, and unfortunately, it's his father, and his father's broken promises. It is also his cedit rating that could be affected for years to come.

That is his business, with his father. How he decides to deal with it, is up to him, but I think it is unfair for you to assume third party debt under these circumstances.

This all happened 2 YEARS before you met your fiancé. It is not your problem, and helping him to pay this huge debt, and worrying yourself sick, is just plain wrong.

If your fiancé were asking for advice on how to deal with the arrangement he made with his father, that is another ball of wax. He just may have to eat the debt, and learn a hard lesson in the process. But, you should not be involved in this at all.

If you choose to make it your problem, and struggle to help pay this, more power to you, but, my opinion is, your fiancé has to step up and take care of his own business, with his own father.

Hi Jake2008,

Sorry for the late reply, I completely agree with everything you've said and really appreciate your advice.

To update, our phone service was suspended this week because his father had only paid $50 of the debt (we've paid $450+our own monthly payments) and this was not enough to keep it from canceling. You're right, they did neglect their bill for such a long time that we've moved into collections, and there was no way to make monthly payments.

I know the father earned about $2000 last month, and as much as my fiancé insists, I don't believe he was diligent about trying to get the money back from him. So now I'm left explaining to friends, family and my employer that my phone's been cut off (although they know I have a job).

I'm now in the awkward position of explaining what really happened, or everyone I know thinking I'm completely irresponsible / addicted to drugs.

Lovely, isn't it? ;(

I'm taking your advice on this one and getting my own account, same with utilities.

Thanks again
M

You still have options.

Because it is in collections, you could ask them to negotiate a reasonabe settlement. (better something on the dollar, than nothing). You could also seek out Debt Counselling services in your area. Many are not for profit (I ran such an agency myself years ago). They can negotate on your behalf, and settle the balance, either so many cents on the dollar, along with stopping the interest, and allowing you manageable payments to pay the agreed amount, whatever that works out to.

Not a good idea to keep it hanging without direct action.

I would also make sure I had ALL the paperwork from the utility itself, every bill that is in your boyfriends name. With that, I would file in Small Claims Court. Provide all the detail you have here, including all efforts you have made to get the father in law to pay. Minus any amount that he has paid since you've assumed the debt, which indicates he knows it is his debt. I would also include an amount for punitive compensation because his actions have affected directly, your employment, and your credit rating.

You don't have to prove that the father in law is capable of paying his own debt, only that he failed to do so.

The amount recoverable varies from place to place, but better to receive something, rather than nothing. You can also, with the judgment in your favour, apply to have your credit rating repaired. I had to do that once with a car loan. It had been paid off, when I went to buy another car, and it showed that I was in arrears on the old cars' payments. The bank had not discharged the loan when it was paid in full. I was able to have that removed from my credit evaluation.

Perhaps even letting your father in law know that you are going to file in small claims court, will be enough for him to come good for the money he owes. Son vs. father in court, with such an obvious win, likely won't sit good with him.

Good for you for getting the utilities in your own name, but you may still face the same hurdle, because you are still showing as being in debt from a delinquent, prior account. They may also require a large deposit before they'll put your name on the bill.

One last thing. You don't have to explain yourself to anybody. It is far too complicated, and it is nobody's business but your own. Just tell them that there was a problem with the services, and everything will be back to normal soon.

I am hoping that your boyfriend's efforts (make sure to note the dates, even in the ballpark, of how many times he tried to get him to pay) is enough to convince him that he can't just let this go. His father has created this mess, and that has/will cause your boyfriend to do something about it. If his father had done what he did to the both of you, to a bank, or a paydayloan place, or on a loan or mortgage, they would not be begging for payment for too long. They'd take his sorry a** to court. Why should the two of you treat this any differently, just because he's your boyfriends father.

I really hope you do the small claims court thing. I've done it myself, three times over the years, and have won, three times. The third time, the contractor I sued walked into the court with, literally, an envelope full of money, right down to the jingling change. I had refused to settle to a smaller amount with his lawyer. (which you don't need by the way in small claims).

All the best of luck in resolving this.