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-   -   How do I get back my ex girlfriend and save myself from the friend trap? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=509847)

  • Sep 22, 2010, 11:19 AM
    Benjilo71
    How do I get back my ex girlfriend and save myself from the friend trap?
    My ex girlfriend has told me she wants to move on. It was a complicated break up. After 2 years of being together, she was finally sick of me. I was carrying some emotional baggage and I idmt tell her I had seen my ex a couple of times. Although it was purely platonic. It still felt like cheating to her. I became distant and she was often sad. She couldn't leave straight away and we had to live together for 2 months. It was sometimes nice but I could see she wasn't happy. She had told me that it was just going to be a break and that we still could get together. She then left an changed her mind after looking back on Facebook and seeing how miserable she had been regularly. So she said it was overand we wouldn't get back. Although we still meet up and even slept over at each others places. So we didn't have the no contact phase. She tells me she is still in love but doesn't think it's enough. I have been pressuring and harassing for answers which has pissed her off. But she still sees me. We are going up Tony hometown next week for 3 nights as she is working there. We will be sleeping in the samebad. But no sex. I've told her I don't want to be friends. But it seems to be happening. She says she will date other people. I want her back. I want to marry her but right now, it seems far away. Can I initiate the no contact rule now? Do you think if I let her alone and allow her to miss me we will have a better chance to get back?
  • Sep 22, 2010, 01:45 PM
    beachloverjohn

    Don't go away with her and sleep in the same bed. That makes no sense at all. In fact, the only thing you should be doing is staying completely away from her. That can serve two purposes, and yes one of them could give her a chance to miss you and want you back. I personally don't like that little game, because most of the time it just prolongs the inevitable. The real reason and only reason to have no contact is so you can get over her. To allow yourself to move on one day, and to get back to a life that is not dependent on the feelings of another.

    You have pushed, pressured, and harassed her, she wants to date others, and she has told you it's over. It really is time to let go.
  • Sep 22, 2010, 01:55 PM
    talaniman

    I don't know if she will miss you and want you back, but if you start NC right now, at least it would end the misery and confusion now and allow you both to heal, and reflect.

    What have you got to lose except the sex without a title?
  • Sep 22, 2010, 03:59 PM
    Homegirl 50

    You should have started NC when she first broke up with her.
    Don't go away with her, that makes no sense. Be done with this, Today!
  • Sep 22, 2010, 09:16 PM
    vanheart
    "After 2 years of being together, she was finally sick of me."
    "So she said it was overand we wouldn't get back"

    What are you going to do beg?

    "Can I initiate the no contact rule now?"

    Yup. (Its to heal, remove her & move on. Not a trick to get her back)

    Don't go anywhere where she is.


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