Ask Me Help Desk - Alcoholic?

Over the past two weeks, I've found myself partying pretty hard. I hate beer, so I only drink liquor when I go out. I don't drink every time I go out, but over the past week and a half, I've been completely trashed four times. I don't like that I'm doing this to myself and I plan to change my ways. Reflecting on this past weekend, I realize how much damage I do to myself and others, and I realized how much I embarrassed myself. Then I start to lose control of my emotions and call my long distance relationship guy thingy in tears, and he said it breaks his heart to hear me so upset and messed up. He gave me a long talk yesterday about how I need to stop. And I agree. But a few of my other friends have been telling me I'm an alcoholic. I know I've messed up prettybad this past week or so, but wouldd you consider me an alcoholic? I'm trying to change.

As an alcoholic, in recovery,I've always said that if you're asking yourself THAT question, then there is a chance of it being true. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then maybe it's time for you to try to cease the intake of it.

Can you just stop drinking? On your own? If the answer is yes, then by all means do it. If you need help, then get it by way of detox, rehab, and a 12 step program like AA. Link:Alcoholics Anonymous :

Find a meeting near you, and go to one. See how it goes. It's worldwide, anonymous, and free. They will help you with your answer.

I have no idea if you're an alcoholic by what you've given here, No one can be sure of the answer. But it's a good start for you to understand that if you are experiencing "time travel", ( losing track of time and events) then you know that it's a problem. That's an important step in recovery.

Listen to your friends. They have your best interest at heart. Even if they do need sensitivity training.

And beware of "substance shifting". Meaning,don't swap Xanax for vodka. Weed for beer. Oxycodone for wine.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict.

God bless YOU.

I don't know how old you are, but I suspect that you are young enough to know you are getting into some serious trouble, and that you need to change.

To be labeled an alcoholic is an almost life sentence to face. No drinking. Support groups, and for all of your life, you are forever affected.

No disrespect to anyone, in fact quite the opposite, to those that have taken the step to realize their dependency to alcohol, and address it in any way that works. I hope this isn't taken the wrong way.

If you are in your late teens/early 20's, binge drinking (which is what this sounds like), is a common phenomenon, and not necessarily indicative of alcoholism, per se. There is a time when binge drinking in this age group, tapers off, and maturity and self control take over, and alcohol is well managed, without any problems. But, excessive use of alcohol, even in this age group, needs addressed.

Knowing your age would really help here.

If you have lost jobs, marriages, relationships, assets, crashed cars, have a long history in other words, of drinking out of control, these are not the only indicators, but are indicative of alcoholism, which, left unchecked, can destroy your life.

Again, depending upon your age, and from what you have described so far, will determine which path you are on, for diagnostic purposes. IF you are routinely, on your weekends, drinking to excess, along with your peer group, in a contolled setting (house party, bar, dorm, etc.), and otherwise, carry on your life/studies without trouble DIRECTLY related to the partying, I would suggest CBT for you first.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is designed to change thinking, and take control of decisions to avoid the same consequences over and over again. If for example, you party hearty during a period, and are worried, or troubled about the resulting behaviour and consequences, this type of therapy can be very effective in learning how to recognize and deal with making changes, to avoid catastrophy.

I am just pointing out that there are more ways to skin the cat than a lifelong program of abstinence, but again, depending upon your age, this is tempered with not knowing more detail.

You have choices. Bottom line. I'm not going to label you an alcoholic, not my call, or anybody's call but your own.

There things you may not have considered, such as abstinence, harm reduction techniques, change of lifestyle, etc. Any one of those, depending on your personal circumstances, will change consumption.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing, but, sometimes, realizing that you are yourself, concerned with the consequences of your drinking, it is a clear sign that appropriate consideration be given to ALL options, in order to address the problem.

In my experience, sometimes it all boils down to what works, and I don't care if that means a 12 step program, CBT, individual counselling overall, total abstinence, or what have you.

What you need to determine, is what you are going to change about your drinking behaviour, whether that be no alcohol at all, or learning how to be in control when you are,

Do a little research, seek out clarification and information on how these, or any types of therapies or self help groups work, and find what fits comfortably. Simply going to 12 step meetings, or attending CBT, is not enough to change. There are also (if you are at University), groups for women that offer help in all of the disciplines regarding treatment for alcohol and drug problems.

I do agree that from what you have described so far, you are not in control, and you need to be. But, as a rule of thumb, if your drinking is a problem, you need help.

Take that step and see where it takes you.

- And so this is the other half of this story: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ml#post2511683

Actually, judy, that has nothing to do with this. I figured out that problem before this starteed to really become an issue. Its really only been the past week or so that this problem has arisen

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhead1992

actualy, judy, that has nothing to do with this. i figured out that problem before this starteed to really become an issue. its really only been the past week or so that this problem has arisen

What do YOU think is the cause for this change? Were your friends drinking too, did you think it would be fun, were you trying to impress anyone, was it an excuse to call the long distance guy and have him feel sorry for you and get his attention... or attention from your friends?

If this is not the norm for you, then what do you think made you decide to binge?

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhead1992

actualy, judy, that has nothing to do with this. i figured out that problem before this starteed to really become an issue. its really only been the past week or so that this problem has arisen

Actually, redhead1992 - I was married to an alcoholic. His version of when his drinking began to affect his life and everyone else's version of when his drinking changed him were very, very different. It's part of the disease.

You are having problems in various areas of your life and I believe binge drinking, if not alcoholic drinking, explains some of those problems.

If you think you drink too much, stop drinking. It's that easy.

Your friends think you are alcoholic after 4 weeks.

My problems were all fibally get solved. Then I started drinking. It was casual at first. Just one. But one turned to two. Turned to three. Turned to six. Its like once I start I can't stop myself.
Believe me, I didn't use it as an excuse to call him for sympathy. I don't need sympathy and I don't need an excuse to call him. We can and do call each other whenever we feel like it just to talk about our day. Or whatever else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redhead1992

my problems were all fibally get solved. then i started drinking. it was casual at first. just one. but one turned to two. turned to three. turned to six. its like once i start i can't stop myself.
believe me, i didnt use it as an excuse to call him for sympathy. i dont need sympathy and i dont need an excuse to call him. we can and do call each other whenever we feel like it just to talk about our day. or whatever else.

So what is the problem then?

Are you now trying to tell us that you don't have a problem drinking?

Selling your story to yourself is one thing,selling this to US is one thing,selling this to those who SEE you and the 'other you' when you drink,well,that's a whole different thing altogether.

Does your personality change with the first drink?
Do you plan out a drinking time?Plan days ahead for the next drunken times?
Do things set you off where you feel the 'reward' of having to deal with the stress is to drink?

These are simplified questions available for any alcoholism testing,, and can only be answered by you,and honestly is the only way to answer them.

The problem kbc is that people close to me are worried about me and some have called me an alcoholic and I'm starting to fear I may be.

I went out last night and refused to drink, despite the temptation... does this mean that I have willpower and can learn to

This means that you can say no.Nothing more.

So,don't drink alcohol if you think you might become addicted or develop an addiction.

Don't over think this,it's as simple as that.