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-   -   Why would a mother lie to her own daughter? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=508843)

  • Sep 19, 2010, 12:29 AM
    ladyblue10
    Why would a mother lie to her own daughter?
    When I was 20 years old still living at home and 6 months pregnant. My mother convinced me to let her and my father adopt my daughter since I was not married to keep the birth father from ever getting her. It was verbally agreed if I ever got married she would sign her back over. I got married when she was 3 yrs old. I went to a few attorneys and none of them one touch it. Because she had the adoption sealed. She basically stole my daughter from me. But my sister at 18 had a child 5 years after my daughter was born. She was not married and had another child and was not married. My mother never discussed wanting to adopt her kids, but my mother bent over backwards to feed and help cloth those kids, but I could not see my own daughter. She made people believe I was this terrible person. After my daughter was born I never took anothert drink and never did drugs. I have always held high position jobs. I was working a 40 hour week job when I had her, my insurance is what paid for the delivery. I have had no contact with this child in 5 years due to my mother and her controlling ways. I am still married to the man I married 17years ago. But my life is still not complete without my daughter. Just can't understand why my mother hates me so bad and why she would do this to me.
  • Sep 19, 2010, 12:33 AM
    ladyblue10
    When I was 20 years old still living at home and 6 months pregnant. My mother convinced me to let her and my father adopt my daughter since I was not married to keep the birth father from ever getting her. It was verbally agreed if I ever got married she would sign her back over. I got married when she was 3 yrs old. I went to a few attorneys and none of them one touch it. Because she had the adoption sealed. She basically stole my daughter from me. But my sister at 18 had a child 5 years after my daughter was born. She was not married and had another child and was not married. My mother never discussed wanting to adopt her kids, but my mother bent over backwards to feed and help cloth those kids, but I could not see my own daughter. She made people believe I was this terrible person. After my daughter was born I never took anothert drink and I have never done drugs. I have always held high position jobs. I was working a 40 hour week job when I had her, my insurance is what paid for the delivery. I have had no contact with this child in 5 years due to my mother and her controlling ways. I am still married to the man I married 17years ago. But my life is still not complete without my daughter. Just can't understand why my mother hates me so bad and why she would do this to me.
  • Sep 19, 2010, 04:03 AM
    Jake2008
    I'm a little confused.

    If you got married when your daughter was three years old, and you've been married for 17 years, she is now 20 then? And you are 40 years old if my math is in the ballpark.

    You said you have not seen her in five years; why was that suddenly cut off. Was it your daughter's choice?

    I can only presume that things must have been pretty rough for you when you allowed your mother to adopt your daughter. And as you said, you didn't stop doing drugs and drinking until after she was born, so was that fact the reason for the adoption in the first place?

    Did you have an attorney when the adoption was going through, and what convinced you to allow the adoption in the first place, if you were working a 40 hour a week job, and had health insurance etc.

    What stops you from contacting her now.

    I don't know what your mother has lied about. She was your daughter's legal adoptive mother.

    Sorry to ask so many questions, but more information would be helpful.
  • Sep 19, 2010, 06:47 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    So at the birth of the child you were on drugs and were a bad person basically. So your mother got custody and adopted the child, after you signed over your rights ?

    So after a few years of raising the child like her own, she did not want to give the child up, or did not trust you had changed??

    Sorry, sealed or not, adoptions can be challenged, and you would have had a copy of the adoption paper work as the mother anyway, If the father of the child did not sign his rights away, he could have even contested the adoption.

    Verbal agreements before the legal paper work is not binding, so fighting the adoption would have been hard, but almost any attorney would have tried if you merely pay them a hourly fee to do so)

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