I live in FL and the father of my (10 yr old) twins lives in NYC. He has never been a father to them, and has put me through all sorts of hell (he refused to tell his family about the kids, so I did, and he has continued to lie to every family member that finds out). There are more private details that I won't discuss, but he basically tore me apart emotionally, mentally and financially. On top of this, he has never paid child support. He has done nothing but hurt me and my kids (not physically mind you, just emotionally) and I want him to terminate his parental rights. I am 95% sure he would agree to this. I can't afford a lawyer. I want to know if this is a process I can do pro se and if so, what are the laws, processes, etc? Who do I contact? I have no idea where to look and two lawyers I've called want me to come in for a (not free!) consultation. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it.

Sorry but its not going to happen. There is a sticky note at the top of this forum that deals with this issue.

Only a court can terminate parental rights and they will not do so under the circumstances you list.

Have you filed for court ordered child support, the money from those payments each month.

Also the court may or many not allow his rights to be terminated anyway, courts seldom take away rights for little reason, ( non contact is not really a reason) since he does not contact the child, he is not using any rights away

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Originally Posted by BijouP

. On top of this, he has never paid child support.

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Has he ever been ordered to pay?

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Originally Posted by BijouP

I want to know if this is a process I can do pro se and if so, what are the laws, processes, etc? Who do I contact? I have no idea where to look and two lawyers I've called want me to come in for a (not free!) consultation. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it.

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Parental rights may be terminated voluntarily with the written consent of a parent who for good cause desires termination. Even if both parents are in agreement that parental rights should be terminated,the Court must address whether the termination is occurring for good cause. "Good cause" is not defined in the statute, but has been applied in some cases.


In one case, a Supreme Court examined the purpose and intent of the statute to determine when good cause could be found. The purpose of the statute is:

First, to enable the judicial system to legally remove a child from a destructive or unhealthy home environment without the consent of the natural parents

Second, to facilitate adoption procedures by providing a means by which existing parental rights may be voluntarily terminated.

I spoke with a lawyer several years ago, and was told that "duress" was a valid reason for terminating parental rights. As I said, there are very personal details here that I will not disclose, but he has left me and the kids in awful situations before. And while we haven't had contact with him in two years, I am constantly stressed out because his family is just now finding out and I am trying to allow my kids to have a relationship with their paternal grandparents, but my kids are constantly stressed and upset, and ask me "why doesn't our dad tell people we aren't his?" My son is angry and acting out, and it's hard to shield him from the fact that his father is a lying, cruel douchebag when I'm trying to allow the grandparents and aunts (and his other two kids) a relationship with mine. I don't know what to do, and I don't EVER EVER want him to have any legal rights to my kids.

I don't care about the child support. It is the fact that I don't want him to have a legal say in their lives. He has already denounced them many many many times, and refuses to take responsibility. If we both consent, why wouldn't a court allow this?

Also,

Yes, I have attempted to get child support through the state. I have had a case open for 7 years now, and they never find him. I have lived in 2 different states in the past 6 years, so that didn't help. But also, he has told me time and time again that if I go after him for child support, he will work off the books. Which he has been doing the past two years as a bartender. Now he isn't working at all. He has also threatened to move to Canada and/or Mexico if I try to go after him.

I don't know his exact address, I don't have his SSN, but I know he had a child support case open years ago for his other child(ren). I told the child support office this, hoping this info would help, but I have never been told they've located him.

And like I said, this isn't about child support or "non contact". This is about the stress, the effect it has on my health and peace of mind, and how it is affecting my kids. They are sad, angry, hurt, and it doesn't go away because they are constantly reminded of the fact that their father lies/denies that they are his (even though he signed the birth certificate/I have pics of him w/them throughout the years/etc). It's emotionally draining. Please, someone tell me that if he agrees to this, it can be done.

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Originally Posted by BijouP

. If we both consent, why wouldn't a court allow this?

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For a few reasons. As noted, because the law doesn't allow them to. Because, at some point they may feel differently. Because, the state doesn't want to have to pay for support when there are parents who can do it.

You mix up Voluntary and Involuntary termination of parental rights.

§ 39.806
Circumstances That Are Grounds for Involuntary Termination
-Abandonment or Extreme Parental Disinterest
-Abuse/Neglect
-Felony Conviction/Incarceration
-Child Judged in Need of Services/Dependent
Etc

Circumstances That Are Not Grounds for Termination

-Failure to Maintain Contact
-Failure to Provide Support

But this is for involuntary. I want to know about voluntary. Maybe I am not explaining this right. I am going to contact him, and ask him if he will agree to terminate his rights once and for all, if he agrees, I am going to file.

So I need to know grounds for VOLUNTARY termination. Although, according to this, Abandonment/Extreme Parental Disinterest would be correct for involuntary.

First, please don't use the comment feature to post follow-up. Use the answer options as you did with posts 5 & 6.

Some states terminate both rights and responsibilities others only rights.

But you aren't paying attention to what we are saying. Courts will only terminate parental rights in a limited set of circumstances. Your situation doesn't qualify. You would, In my opinion, be wasting your time.

What's the point of a comment feature if you can't use it to comment on something? That makes no sense.

Anyway, according to what GV70 posted, Extreme Parental Disinterest would qualify.

Also, that is the whole point of me asking here, in a FORUM. I want to know if my state (FLORIDA) is one of the states that would terminate his parental rights if we are both filing voluntarily on the basis of extreme parental disinterest/extreme duress. That's why I'm asking here, to find out if my state is one of them so I know if I can do this.

When I was younger and they were babies, he left us in a dangerous situation. He has also tried to give me drugs to sell instead of paying child support. He has lied to everyone in his family (despite all the proof), he has lied to his other kids, he has had my children lie for him, and he has abandoned me/us on numerous occasions and never paid child support or taken any type of active role in their lives other than the few times he saw them off and on when they were younger.

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Originally Posted by BijouP

I want to know if my state (FLORIDA) is one of the states that would terminate his parental rights if we are both filing voluntarily on the basis of extreme parental disinterest/extreme duress.

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No. But his rights may be terminated involuntary.
9.802

Petition for termination of parental rights; filing; elements.
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(1)

All proceedings seeking an adjudication to terminate parental rights pursuant to this chapter must be initiated by the filing of an original petition by the department, the guardian ad litem, or any other person who has knowledge of the facts alleged or is informed of them and believes that they are true.

(4)

A petition for termination of parental rights filed under this chapter must contain facts supporting the following allegations:
(a)

That at least one of the grounds listed in s. 39.806 has been met.

(4)
(c)

That the manifest best interests of the child, in accordance with s. 39.810, would be served by the granting of the petition.
39.8055

Requirement to file a petition to terminate parental rights; exceptions.
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(1)

The department shall file a petition to terminate parental rights within 60 days after any of the following if:
(a)

At the time of the 12-month judicial review hearing, a child is not returned to the physical custody of the parents;
(b)

A petition for termination of parental rights has not otherwise been filed, and the child has been in out-of-home care under the responsibility of the state for 12 of the most recent 22 months, calculated on a cumulative basis, but not including any trial home visits or time during which the child was a runaway;
(c)

A parent has been convicted of the murder, manslaughter, aiding or abetting the murder, or conspiracy or solicitation to murder the other parent or another child of the parent, or a felony battery that resulted in serious bodily injury to the child or to another child of the parent; or
(d)

A court determines that reasonable efforts to reunify the child and parent are not required.

(2)
(b)

The department has documented in the report to the court a compelling reason for determining that filing such a petition is not in the best interests of the child. Compelling reasons for not filing or joining a petition to terminate parental rights may include, but are not limited to:
1.

Adoption is not the appropriate permanency goal for the child.
2.

No grounds to file a petition to terminate parental rights exist.
3.

The child is an unaccompanied refugee minor as defined in 45 C.F.R. s. 400.111.
4.

There are international legal obligations or compelling foreign-policy reasons that would preclude terminating parental rights.
5.

The department has not provided to the family, consistent with the time in the case plan, services that the department deems necessary for the safe return of the child to the home.

(d)

When the parent of a child is incarcerated in a state or federal correctional institution and either:
1.

The period for which the parent is expected to be incarcerated will constitute a substantial portion of the period before the child will attain the age of 18 years;
2.

The incarcerated parent has been determined by the court to be a violent career criminal as defined in s. 775.084, a habitual violent felony offender as defined in s. 775.084, or a sexual predator as defined in s. 775.21; has been convicted of first degree or second degree murder in violation of s. 782.04 or a sexual battery that constitutes a capital, life, or first degree felony violation of s. 794.011; or has been convicted of an offense in another jurisdiction which is substantially similar to one of the offenses listed in this paragraph. As used in this section, the term “substantially similar offense” means any offense that is substantially similar in elements and penalties to one of those listed in this subparagraph, and that is in violation of a law of any other jurisdiction, whether that of another state, the District of Columbia, the United States or any possession or territory thereof, or any foreign jurisdiction; or
3.

The court determines by clear and convincing evidence that continuing the parental relationship with the incarcerated parent would be harmful to the child and, for this reason, that termination of the parental rights of the incarcerated parent is in the best interest of the child.

Voluntary TPR is allowed only in 39.806 (1)(a)

When the parent or parents have voluntarily executed a written surrender of the child and consented to the entry of an order giving custody of the child to the department for subsequent adoption and the department is willing to accept custody of the child.

Thank you GV70. That is what I needed to know. It sounds like I am better off doing this involuntarily, instead of asking him to voluntarily terminate.

Now one other question, if I filed and his parental rights were terminated, is FL a state that also terminates his responsibility financially. It doesn't matter either way, but I would like to know.

Again, thank you. That is the answer I was seeking.

Honestly I am in doubt whether the court will terminate his rights or not.
Firstly-child support was never ordered.
Secondly-he probably was jailed but now he is free.

I guess there has never been a visitation order,too.

If TPR is granted,the parent whose rights are terminated will not be obligated to pay child support in Florida.

I think you understand why courts are so reluctant to terminate parental rights.

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Originally Posted by BijouP

What's the point of a comment feature if you can't use it to comment on something? That makes no sense.

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The comment feature is for rating a post on the quality of the answer. The rules for using the feature can be found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

There is a limit to the amount of characters you can type in the comment box, unlike when you post an answer to a thread.

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Originally Posted by BijouP

Anyway, according to what GV70 posted, Extreme Parental Disinterest would qualify.

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There is a difference between what might qualify under a statute and what the courts will allow. That's what you seem to be missing. Courts are VERY reluctant to grant TPRs they will only do so in a narrowly defined set of circumstances. The primary circumstance is to clear the way for an adoption. They may also grant one if the parent presents a clear and obvious danger to the child. A parent who is willing to give up their rights is clearly not such a danger. There are also other ways to protect the children without a TPR. This is why we think you would be wasting your time trying to get a TPR either voluntarily or involuntarily.

Id like to add something here. When you try to file for the involuntary termination its going to cost a lot of money to try to get it through. Since you don't know his address or have other information on him all of that will have to be found or attempted to be found before the courts will move forward. It's a very expensive process.