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-   -   Complicated Relationship.. HELP! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=508481)

  • Sep 17, 2010, 04:56 PM
    LurveSickk
    Complicated Relationship.. HELP!!
    Myself and my b/f were going out for 3months. He lives 3mins from me. At the start of our relationship he was great, he made contact, he visited etc. as our relationship went on I kept getting really annoyed at him as he would never contact me and he wouldn't for days, and I gave out to him for this. 2months into our relationship he told me he loved me, and I felt I cared and loved him enough to say it back. I trust him, and he is the first fella I have being with that I feel comfortable with. 2weeks ago he said he needed a break, and I said you know there shouldn't be a break if you really want to be with someone, that you either want to be with them or not. I was gutted and finished it. 2days ago I text and I said you know can we work this out, that I love you, I said it a simple answer, yes or no! He replyed and said leave it as a break till the end of the month and we will see from there. I said you know nobody else involved (girls/boys). He said you sound. But he hasn't contacted me since. I love him to bits and he knows it. He always told me he would be there for me, that he cared for me a lot and that he hasn't being with any girl since. What is the best thing for me to do? What can I say to him, to tell him I care. He knows I do and that I love him. What can I do to prove this? How can I show him he is the only love in my eyes?
  • Sep 17, 2010, 04:58 PM
    Kitkat22

    How old are you both?
  • Sep 17, 2010, 05:03 PM
    DoulaLC

    He knows how you feel, give him his time and space to decide what he feels. You had been going out for just three months. Maybe things moved too quickly for him, and he now realizes that.

    There is nothing you can do but see how things go. Do not hound him, do not continue to try and make him see how you feel. He won't forget, so don't feel you have to remind him.

    It may be that it just isn't meant to be. That is what dating is about. You are attracted to someone, you get to know them, enjoy time with them, but sometimes you just realize it wasn't what you thought it would be.

    He may come back in time, he may not. You can't make him feel what he doesn't feel. He could end up just being a good friend and not a boyfriend.

    In the meantime, spend time with your friends, try not to dwell on what he is going to do or not (hard to do, I know!).
  • Sep 17, 2010, 05:49 PM
    beachloverjohn

    I don't think it matters how you feel about him. He doesn't feel the same . That's obvious. No matter what you do, you will not have the kind of relationship that you want and expect. This is a lop sided affair, I mean you care too much, he doesn't care enough. Sorry, but that's just the way it is sometimes. Best thing for you to do is stay away from him, end all communication, and allow yourself to meet someone else. Someone that feels the same, someone that wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. We all try to find answers as to why someone changes towards us, what we did wrong, what can we do to get them back. I have found that if somebody lovesyou, I mean really loves you, they will do everything they can to work things out with you. No relationship is perfect, so the answer here is there is no answer. Like the movie says "he's just not that into you" Time to move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea..
  • Sep 17, 2010, 05:57 PM
    JoeCanada76

    First of all please no chat speak.

    Second of all, we need to know how old you are.

    Third, it is not much of a relationship. 3 months is not really long enough to consider it a strong relationship. Dating maybe, but relationship no.

    Not really that complicated actually very simple. It was infatuation, that whether you feel it can be worked out or not he ended it.

    Time to learn to walk away, not be so clingy and realize that it takes a lot to be in a true relationship and this is not one of them.
  • Sep 17, 2010, 06:26 PM
    beachloverjohn

    Sometimes when we give advice we forget that kids often post here and have some of the same relationship problems as adults. So if you are a couple of teenagers, then I hope my advice will come in handy someday, but for now what your experiencing is just part of growing up.
  • Sep 17, 2010, 06:41 PM
    beachloverjohn
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jesushelper76 View Post
    First of all please no chat speak.

    Second of all, we need to know how old you are.

    Third, it is not much of a relationship. 3 months is not really long enough to consider it a strong relationship. Dating maybe, but relationship no.

    Not really that complicated actually very simple. It was infatuation, that whether you feel it can be worked out or not he ended it.

    Time to learn to walk away, not be so clingy and realize that it takes a lot to be in a true relationship and this is not one of them.

    Meant to say 'Yes your post was right on. And I'm the one who forgot they could be kids.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 11:16 AM
    talaniman

    Your feelings have you blind to the obvious, he ain't as into you, as you are him, so leave him alone, and get your feelings under better control.

    Then you won't be left in limbo, and confused by a guy who puts you on hold, for more important things in his life, and won't have to be made a fool of by chasing after him.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 01:07 PM
    LurveSickk
    I'm 21 and he 20.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 01:08 PM
    LurveSickk
    I'm 21 and he 20. Mistake when wrote. He lives 30mins away no 3mins.

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