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-   -   Probably A Silly Question (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=508423)

  • Sep 17, 2010, 12:18 PM
    sajjw
    Probably A Silly Question
    I'm not sure if I am posting this in the right section, but felt that perhaps doggy people might understand better where I am coming from with this... sorry it's a bit morbid.
    I want to build a log cabin in my garden for my friend to live in and the only place for it means that it will be over the grave of the little puppies that were born dead or didn't survive from past litters I have bred. Before I go any further, please be assured I am not a backyard breeder. This can be confirmed if necessary by Mr Colin Waddell (if you Google his name you will see who he is).
    I feel very conflicted about this and although I am not a particularly religious person, wonder if it would be the wrong thing to do. I don't think I could bear to just concrete over the site but it doesn't seem right to move them either. I would be ever so grateful if anyone is willing to share their thoughts on the subject.
  • Sep 17, 2010, 12:33 PM
    Cat1864

    Saj, I understand what you are saying and I empathize with the decision you are having to make. I will try to be as delicate as possible. Depending on how small the pups were and how long ago and how they were interred, are there any remains to move?

    If you did put a slab over the grave-site, would it help to mark the concrete in some way to remember them.

    If there are remains to move, how would you feel about reburying them with maybe a planter, birdbath, etc. to mark their new resting place?

    I guess the other question is how does the person who would be residing in the cabin feel about the choices or does he/she know?
  • Sep 17, 2010, 01:16 PM
    sajjw
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Cat1864 View Post
    Saj, I understand what you are saying and I empathize with the decision you are having to make. I will try to be as delicate as possible. Depending on how small the pups were and how long ago and how they were interred, are there any remains to move?

    If you did put a slab over the grave-site, would it help to mark the concrete in some way to remember them.

    If there are remains to move, how would you feel about reburying them with maybe a planter, birdbath, etc. to mark their new resting place?

    I guess the other question is how does the person who would be residing in the cabin feel about the choices or does he/she know?

    The pups were either newborn or only a day or two old. 2 were buried Jan 2008 and were sadly joined by four more last February. They were wrapped in a soft towel and placed in a strong cardboard box. I don't know what will be left but their little skeletons should still be there surely. Yes marking the concrete is a lovely idea and although it will be covered by flooring, it will be there a long long time. I could have a plaque set into the concrete as a memorial giving the dates and names of the pups. Perhaps that is the answer. Although it's sounds silly, moving them feels wrong and disrespectful.
    My friend is happy with whatever I decide. He did not see them or love them so it's not an issue.
    I think not having the gravesite in view any more may help me as I still mourn them and cry when I think of them. I have decided not to breed any more as I am unable to be detached and have enough on my hands visiting the 17 pups I sold that are scattered all over England and looking after my rabble.
    Thanks for your response, you have been very helpful.
  • Sep 17, 2010, 01:29 PM
    Cat1864
    I understand what you mean about moving them. It sounds like it might end up being therapeutic for you. Concentrate on the living.

    If it helps plant bushes or add a feature to the cabin to represent all of the pups and adults. Something that will bring a smile when you see it instead of tears.

    You're welcome.
  • Sep 17, 2010, 01:34 PM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sajjw View Post
    The pups were either newborn or only a day or two old. 2 were buried Jan 2008 and were sadly joined by four more last February. They were wrapped in a soft towel and placed in a strong cardboard box. I don't know what will be left but their little skeletons should still be there surely. Yes marking the concrete is a lovely idea and although it will be covered by flooring, it will be there a long long time. I could have a plaque set into the concrete as a memorial giving the dates and names of the pups. Perhaps that is the answer. Although it's sounds silly, moving them feels wrong and disrespectful.
    My friend is happy with whatever I decide. He did not see them or love them so it's not an issue.
    I think not having the gravesite in view any more may help me as I still mourn them and cry when I think of them. I have decided not to breed any more as I am unable to be detached and have enough on my hands visiting the 17 pups I sold that are scattered all over England and looking after my rabble.
    Thanks for your response, you have been very helpful.

    The idea of a memorial plaque has merit, but does it need to be hidden? Would a memorial cabin with the plaque on a wall be too much? If so, a plaque as part of the flooring? Just different ideas...
  • Sep 17, 2010, 01:36 PM
    sajjw
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    The idea of a memorial plaque has merit, but does it need to be hidden? Would a memorial cabin with the plaque on a wall be too much? If so, a plaque as part of the flooring? Just different ideas...

    Yes! I could mark the concrete under the floor on the spot and have the plaque visible. It seems silly to spend money having a nice plaque made up just to hide it. Thanks :-)
  • Sep 18, 2010, 05:41 AM
    shazamataz

    I was thinking similar to Cats, I would place a plaque on the actual cabin and name it something to remind you of the little babies underneath it. That way their spirit can live on in the beautiful little cabin itself.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 07:19 AM
    2labsmom

    May be add a memory garden in some flowerbeds out front of the cabin, or window sill garden boxes.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 07:54 AM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    I was thinking similar to Cats, I would place a plaque on the actual cabin and name it something to remind you of the little babies underneath it. That way their spirit can live on in the beautiful little cabin itself.

    Maybe the Puppy House?
  • Sep 18, 2010, 08:49 AM
    sajjw
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    Maybe the Puppy House?

    I had a little girl born last January who came out struggling to breathe. She was in and out of the vets but we just couldn't get her temperature stabilised. She wasn't going to make it and was suffering so I had to have her put to sleep at 3 days old. I called her Hope to represent all the hope and prayers for her over those 3 days. Maybe her name could be used i.e. Hope House or Hope Lodge. It's strange the way her mother seemed unconcerned about her loss whereas I was devastated, but dogs are much more sensible than people and concentrate on the living.
  • Sep 18, 2010, 09:03 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sajjw View Post
    I had a little girl born last January who came out struggling to breathe. She was in and out of the vets but we just couldn't get her temperature stabilised. She wasn't going to make it and was suffering so I had to have her put to sleep at 3 days old. I called her Hope to represent all the hope and prayers for her over those 3 days. Maybe her name could be used i.e. Hope House or Hope Lodge.

    That sounds very fitting. :)
  • Sep 18, 2010, 09:29 AM
    shazamataz

    Sounds perfect to me :)
  • Sep 18, 2010, 10:35 AM
    Catsmine
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sajjw View Post
    I had a little girl born last January who came out struggling to breathe. She was in and out of the vets but we just couldn't get her temperature stabilised. She wasn't going to make it and was suffering so I had to have her put to sleep at 3 days old. I called her Hope to represent all the hope and prayers for her over those 3 days. Maybe her name could be used i.e. Hope House or Hope Lodge. It's strange the way her mother seemed unconcerned about her loss whereas I was devastated, but dogs are much more sensible than people and concentrate on the living.

    Hope Hall sounds about right; reminiscent of memorial buildings at Universities.

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