Long story short, there was this girl that I was very very attracted to about two and a half years ago (sophomore year), unfortunantly I didn't know her well enough to literally pour my hear out to her through a letter (but I did). I remember likeing her like crazy and feeling as if I was in "love", however the mistake I made that got me into this weird mess was how I felt in "love" for who I thought she was (i.e at school she was sweet, outgoing, smart, funny and all the good stuff, but OUTSIDE of school I had no idea of) back then her and I always spoke about anything (she seemed kind of open) we shared some laughters as well it was as if we were good friends. I also was not aware of how she truly looked at me from deep inside her heart, she was able to clearly tell how much I liked her by my body language (I remember trying to be as close to her as possible), the way I spoke to her (signs of hints that I liked her), physical contact (I did touch her, but never got the chance to give her a hug) as far as a friendly relationship goes, to me she was close, but to her I wasn't remotely close at all. Finally I got the silent treatment from her by the end of that year and I also understood that the letter I wrote to her caused this to happen. Because of this letter this whole thing that I "thought" we had gave her a completely different idea of what I was trying to do, which is why I got this silent treatment all through out that summer and also was subject to rumors she had been spreading about me ("he stalks my facebook" etc.) It also seemed to get worse for me every time we did talk on Facebook because she would seem to act all hostile around me (name calling etc) I'll admit it I really did feel horrible when she would talk about another dude that she herself was crushing on because I had this mentality of feeling like I was getting cheated on when she didn't even like me from the start (btw.. she never was a friend of mine I just always thought we were) I don't think I was ever THAT emotionally crushed. I thought I didn't do anything wrong to her. Its been two years since and we literally haven't spoke ( I can't believe someone can go that far without talking to another person even if they were to HATE each other) I remember hearing about all these dirty things about her that surprised me. This good person I thought I knew was also a FREAK outside of school? Supposedly she "hooks up with guys" (but it was hard for me to actually accept that) and now just when I thought my senior year wasn't going to get any worst, I find that she is in one of my classes (we still don't talk) I am now not the same way I was for her back in tenth grade, yet every time I see someone that looks like her I feel so sad and start thinking about what I did back then and how immature I was to do something like that. I also say think that I will never meet someone that gorgeous (or better) and not have a beautiful outgoing girlfriend. How do I completely stop feeling bad for myself and accept that she was never a friend? Another thing is, I also want this to be a thing of the past. How do I talk to her in class? Because I don't want her to feel as if I am still holding this against her (this time for real, no signs of liking)... are there stuff like this that happen to people out there as well? I even feel like she hates me (FOR WHAT?! ) back when I was a junior I remember saying that I wished I could change the way I looked (facial that is), dressed. I wished I was a little taller (6'2) and muscular, just to look like some chick magnet. I prayed night and day things would get better but right now I'm out of luck what should I do?…Help me? Thanks!

Stop obsessing about her. She was never interested in you in a romantic way, so accept that. The old saying, "different strokes for different folkes" is so true in this case. Start focusing your attention on someone else, someone who can be interested in you. Stop wasting your time and energy on someone who has NO INTEREST in you. Let it go, and stop caring so much what someone thinks about you that you never really knew in the first place..

I agree with the above. I think this has turned into more of a fantasy/obsession than anything else, does not sound healthy to me at all. All this time thinking about something that... well... never even amounted to a friendship! It is the equivalent of asking a stranger out and her saying no, simple as that. Nything else you make it out to be was invented by your imagination.

Plenty of other beautiful women out there, over here, everywhere. Best to spend that time pursuing a totally different stranger than obsessing over this one.

I don't mean to sound up myself here by the way :) but I've been hit on by a couple of guys, they flirted with me and I flirted back and then I would find out they like me and I would freak out and stop talking to them.. not because I hated them just because I didn't feel the same way and I didn't know what to say so would avoid or ignore them.. if they had come up to me a year later and started to talk to me I would honestly be relieved, shows there's no hard feeling you see.. but before you talk to her you need to stop thinking about her like an ex-girlfriend, cause she's not she's just a girl you had a crush on in high school really

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Originally Posted by jadedjade

i dont mean to sound up myself here btw :) but ive been hit on by a couple of guys, they flirted with me and i flirted back and then i would find out they like me and i would freak out and stop talking to them.. not because i hated them just because i didnt feel the same way and i didnt know what to say so would avoid or ignore them.. if they had come up to me a year later and started to talk to me i would honestly be relieved, shows theres no hard feeling you see.. but before you talk to her you need to stop thinking about her like an ex-girlfriend, cause shes not shes just a girl you had a crush on in highschool really

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Well how should I talk to her when almost all of her girlfriends know? If I try to start a conversation I feel like one of her friends will just spread this whole rumor all over again. Im asking you this because I'm pretty sure you yourself told your friends about the guys that like you when you flirted. Help?

You don't need help, you need to leave her alone and do other things that you like and stop worrying about what her and her friends do. Get a life, is the way to put this, and be friendly but unavailable. Say hi and keep it moving. She isn't a friend and there is no hope for romance, so why are you bothering??

Come on guy, don't get caught up, and thrown off by silly high school BS, when you should be enjoying senior year with your own friends, and activities. Not worried about the rumors of some obscure clique. Don't you think that's a perfect waste of time, and energy?

Really think about this. There was no relationship, never was, never will be. You are in love with the idea of there was actually some substance to your 'relationship' with her, even though it wasn't even on a friendship basis.

You fell hard for her, wrote her a letter, I presume professing your interest and she rebuffed you quite bluntly, and firmly. I don't think it was necessary for her to d the putdown things on Facebook, but then again, after so long and you still being so stuck on her, I'm not sure you weren't stalking her or bothering her in other ways. While you say she talked about you, you managed to talk about her enough to know that she slept around, so both of you are guilty of bashing and gossiping.

And that kind of behaviour, on your part, will get back to her, as you know. And that too, was/is probably part of the plan, to keep this one-sided quest of yours going with her. Bad attention is better than no attention at all right?

You have to cut this out. She is not your girlfriend, she is not your friend, she has no interest in you, obviously, and hasn't talked to you in two years! And you think that is outrageous of her by what you have indicated in your words.

Your behaviour implies to me that you are either very inexperienced, or very naïve, or very calculating and scary. But, whateve it is, you have to leave her alone. Stop talking about her, stop trying to find out about her and her history with people that are none of your business. She has cleary said, go fly a kite, in so many words, when she did talk to you, two years ago.

For a relationship that never took place, you are sure having a hard time getting over it.

Screw them all man I have been there to a even worse extent and guess what after years of trying she became my fiancée and we have a son together and we have been with each other for 4 years it took me a while to tell her how I felt and believe me I did a lot worse then talk mess about her I lit. ignored her in her face I dated her friends all because I wanted her to notice me more and I am telling you it was hard to explain to her why I did but if its meant to be then it is so just tell her how you feel now before you regret it forever!

Adam, that's great things worked out for you, but, he "poured his heart out in a letter", which is what caused her to clearly say no. He did tell her how he felt, as you are suggesting he do, in your response. She hasn't talked to him in 2 years.

I don't know what 'screw them all' means in your answer, is that directed at people who have responded?

Regardless, with the information he has posted here, there was never a friendship, or a relationship of any kind, except for him, in his head. There is nothing to pursue in my opinion, he has to leave her alone and get on with his life.

[QUOTE=adamconda69;2526643]screw them all man i have been there to a even worse extent and guess what after years of trying she became my fiancée

Sometimes NO really does mean NO.

Out of greenies John, but you are right on the money.