Hello everyone I am 20 and my boyfriend is 28,older than me I know
But we get along very well,we were best friends before anything ,he is
The person I trust the most I tell him everything! But now I moved to
Because I was offered a scholarship by another university when I moved we were
Still friends nothing else! And it's been a year since I have moved
But we really stayed in touch we talked everyday !my family knows him
(as my friend though) and his knows me we are that close!
He grew up in a non affectionate family and he is normally not crazy about PDA or anything related to that but this summer we were talking as usual he asked
Me why I wanted a boyfriend for I told him stuff like somebody who
Calls me before sleeping,somebody to call just to tell me they
Miss ,he said but I do that with you I said no you are my friend and I
Want someone who has feelings for me!Then after that day he started
Acting like an affectionate person,text me how he misses me and loves
Me,how beautiful I am it caught me off guard since he is not that kind
Of person I even mentioned it and he goes"that's the side of me that
you didn't know"! And after he asked me to be his girlfriend!I accepted it was
Great he would text and call all the time and send cute messages
But since two weeks ago things have changed he went back to being a
Non affectionate person!! I asked him why?he said that I shouldn't
Complain! But I really want him to be affectionate again!why did he go
From non affectionate to affection and now back to non affectionate?
Did he get affectionate to get me but now that he has me he thinks
He can relax?Cause him being affectionate is one of the reasons I accepted to date him,I am very romantic and I pay attention to small details like I text him every morning before class between classes,I email him everyday,I call him to ask how was he day and catch up when he emails or text there is nothing sweet in there its like hey girl how was your day? I know he loves me but I am confused please help!
I know it's long am sorry
Thank you guys in advance!

I think you ruined a good friendship by crossing the line. Somewhere along the line, this guy decided he wanted to take your relationship to another level, but people just don't decide this, it has to happen naturally. This sounds forced, and just as most people can't go from boyfrienf/girlfriend to being friends, I don't think people can go from friends to lovers. It can happen, don't get me wrong, but I don't think so in your case..

Neither of you is in love, but you like he idea of having someone to say you have them. He did what it took to get you, so he is through, and since he did what you wanted, you thought he would keep doing it. He didn't, so drop the pretense at love, and romance and go back to just friends... if you can. If not, get some better friends, and learn the difference between friends, and romantic partners, and don't cross the lines.

I have to agree with the others, he used you. I don't know if you can go back to being just friends.

You want him to be someone he is not. You know he's not. So instead of wanting him to be different, accept him as he is or go back to just being friends.

He told what you wanted to hear to get you and now he is back to being him. He is who he is.

Maybe it is just the nature of this particular beast so to speak.

He is trying on different coats, to see which one fits the best, or matches yours the best.

What he is really doing was trying harder. He tried being more affectionate to please you, in ways that you enjoyed and liked. But, it wasn't natural for him, so it wasn't honest affection, he was only doing this to show you that he loved you.

To expect him to continue being affectionate, when he isn't an affectionate guy in that way, would be saying you expect him to be somebody he is not.

Give him credit for trying at least.

But would you rather have an honest relationship, with a guy who is who he is, or would you rather have a relationship with a guy who is the type of person that he tried to be.

Me personally, I would choose the one who is comfortable in his own skin, and doesn't need to pretend to be otherwise.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jake2008 again.


Good answer!