I have a 15 month old child with my husbend and I want to leave him how do I do that I have had a lot of problems with his verble abuse and also his over obsessed ways I can't have friends I can't do anything I want to do without asking him and also I am told I can't do nothing with out speaking to him first he makes me feel like crap and he sais mean things to me calls me mean names

I am not a professional, and please don't go by just what I say. It's very important that you make a well thought out decision and have a plan that doesn't cause more damage to an already difficult situation.

1. Get the support of your family and friends. If at all possible try not to do this on your own unless you have no other choice.

2. If you can't seek a counselor outside your own home, try looking up your local crisis hotline and talking to someone that is an expert on your situation. You should be able to find one in the phone book.

3. Seek local legal advice that is pertinent to your state and community.

4. Make sure you have all valuable documents together, such as birth certificates, social security cards, etc. and make copies of them if you can. Store them with someone or somewhere easily accessible.

5. If you are able to save money, put some back until you feel you at least have enough to provide your son and you a safe place to go, food, transportation, personal items, and fees for filing important documents, etc. Have someone you trust hold onto it if you can't keep it with you.

6. Do some self-searching and find out how you found your way to this situation to begin with. This is important because not knowing may lead you into another situation in the future. Doing this now will make you aware of your own actions so that you can see them coming in the future and avoid it.

7. If you feel your husband may have moments of reason, try asking him if the two of you can go to marriage counseling. Try not to use threats of leaving or taking the baby as leverage to get him to go. That may cause him to become more defensive and abusive.

8. Write down you want to be in life if you leave him. Where would you like to live, do you want to get a job, go back to school, where do you want your child to go to school in the future? What about your husband's future without the baby and you? How would you like to see the custody go, what about a parenting plan. Eventually you will need to be one on one to discuss these matters with him or possibly an attorney. Try visualizing what this might look like and make a plan. It rarely turns out exactly how you plan it, but this will give you a positive goal to reach for.

9. If your situation is dangerous, go to the police and get advice on how to safely leave. You may need a restraining order and a police escort to remove your belongings from the home.

10. When you are ready to leave (if you do end up leaving) make sure that the people you trust know exactly what your plan is! This is very, very, important for your sanity, safety, and for future purposes where they may be needed to verify information for you.

11. What ever you do while your in the home or when you leave do your very best to try and stay focused and calm despite how you feel inside it is not going to benefit you or your baby during such a hard transition.

I wish you and your baby all the best! You'll be in my thoughts, and please remember don't just take my advice seek others and you decide what will work best for you.

*hug*

Harmony gave you a great checklist. I would differ only in a couple of points. The first is point #9. Generally the police can do nothing until some physical abuse occurs. You would have to call in a domestic violence complaint while its happening for the police to do anything. So instead of going to the police look for support groups for abused wives. Such groups can provide legal advice, temporary shelter, job placement etc. So I think that's your second choice if you don't have family you can move in with.

A lot of the tips involve time to prepare. You may not have that much time, so you may need to contact a support group in your area asap. If you can hold out for a bit while you get all that you need lined up that may help.