So I met this girl at a party last Saturday night. My friends and I were just having a good time at his place, then she came over. She first introduced herself to me, then sat across the room from me. A couple of minutes later she asked only me what my name was again, and I told her. Later who was sitting next to her left, so went over to her and started talking to her. She was giving very strong vibes like leaning in very close and touching my leg. We all left went to another party, and we got separated there. We then later reunited at my friends place again. We were talking, and she kept touching me and sitting right next to me. So I garbed her hand to see how she would react, and she liked it. She sat on my lap and kissed me on the cheek. When that happened I felt like a child ecstasy, so happy. Later in the night we were in the bathroom performing oral s*x each other. When we met this was not what I had intended to happened or planned in anyway. I like her and wanted to get dinner on Sunday night, but she didn't. I asked again for Tuesday night, and she said "Sorry. Im just really not interested..." She works at the coffee shop at out college library. One important piece of information: I have trouble with peoples names and half the night I would call her Cheryl and the other half Shelly which is her name. I think this is why she is no longer interested. How could I redeem myself to her?

Was what we had just a one night stand? (I hope not because I really have feelings for her). When she says she was not interested is it just a game she is playing or is she really not interested? I was thinking of talking to her this Sunday while she is at the coffee shop and telling her how I feel, because I don't want to appear desperate or pushy and tell her too soon. Is this a good idea?

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Originally Posted by ARD_child

Was what we had just a one night stand? (I hope not because i really have feelings for her).

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Sorry, but yes.

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Originally Posted by ARD_child

When she says she was not interested is it just a game she is playing or is she really not interested

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She's just not interested. It sucks to hear that, but at least she's being up-front and honest and isn't dodging your calls leaving you to wonder.

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Originally Posted by ARD_child

I was thinking of talking to her this Sunday while she is at the coffee shop and telling her how i feel, because i dont want to appear desperate or pushy and tell her too soon. Is this a good idea?

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It's a bad idea. You already asked her out twice and she told you she wasn't interested both times. She knows how you feel about her. Let it go.

Forget about her. I don't really blame her since you couldn't even call her by her right name.

Leave her alone. When someone tells you they are not interested that is generally what they mean.
You had oral sex with someone you just met and could not remember her name, leaving each other alone may be the best.

You just got out of a relationship: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ak-475847.html

What's the rush to jump into another one? Just make new friends and spend some time recovering from your last break up. You're looking too hard for a rebound. I say rebound because you've been used to having someone else to depend on and now you're searching for a replacement to fill that void.

Stop kidding yourself. You were just a one night stand to her. Doesn't matter what name you called her, she is not interested in having a relationship with you. These things happen, so you might as well face it. Look at it this way, you had a good time with someone who was just looking for just that... A good time.. Sorry.

I may be "old school" and out of line here but is there not a health question now about this?

I don't think oral sex in the john even counts as a one nighter.

Edit... I was sarcastic and judgmental so I deleted the rest of the post.
Apologies to any who read it and were offended.

Well it may not be considered a one night stand, but it was nasty.
You should hope you didn't get a case of herpes.
Someone who would so nonchalant do that may have done it before.
To put your mouth on some body's stuff you don't know is a bit trusting in my opinion.

Should I apologize to her for what happened? The way in which it ended was awkward because we heard someone talking about us. I feel that this would be an adult thing to do, or not?

She did it too. Did you drag her into the bathroom?
But yes you can tell her "this is not something I do as a rule and it was a tacky way to behave. So, I'm sorry"
Then be done with her.

You can talk to her, but it doesn't mean that you will get the response that you want from her. Do what you feel is right, but it doesn't mean that she will share your view. In such a case, you have to remember to respect her wishes.

Therefore, if she's not interested in talking to you, then leave her alone. You're right, you don't want to be pushy and forceful. So don't force a conversation onto her if she's not interested in having one.

If you were seeing her again, then you could discuss that night, sure, apologize, enjoyed it, shouldn't have happened, whatever. But I have a feeling she would like to forget the whole incident, maybe she drank too much, who knows, but I would forget it also.. No, don't apologize.

If you feel you should apologize, then do so. There is never any harm in saying you are sorry for your behavior, especially if you feel it was wrong.
She may not want it but this is about you covering yourself and moving on.

ARD, slow down. Figure out why you think you have feelings for her when you really don't know her or anything about her.

Are you building a fantasy life with her because you had some fun together?

Is she a crutch to get over the ex? Would she be a rebound?

Be honest with yourself and it will help you decide what you should do next.

Enough of this girl, and your lustful feelings. Just move on, you had all the fun you were going to get.

Apologize for what? Like Homegirl 50 said, she did it too. I've tried this before, and it would be an awkward apology and you'd probably walk away feeling silly.

Besides, she declined both times you asked her out, which is a pretty clear sign she wants to be left alone.

Just let her be man.