He terrorizes me, threatens me & controls my entire life. He is twice my age & doesn't see life from a normal, realistic stand-point, he cannot take care of most anything in his life (especially bills & spending, or getting his drivers license back after almost 20 years of losing it) himself, other than fixing himself pre-packaged cupcakes for almost all meals & showing up for his job (in which he is paid in tips by naked women). His behavior is extremely socially inappropriate & disturbing, as well as his behavior at home, with me. He constantly depends on me for almost everything (except financial, but could not manage money or pay bills on his own, or even with my help). He constantly tells me what a horrible person I am for correcting his obscene behavior (such as trying to jump out of moving vehicles at 55mph or higher) and he becomes loud and degrading when I refuse to do something that would otherwise effect my health or schedule in a negative way. He lashes out with temper tantrums that will last days, until I apologize or make up with him. He seems to see himself as a victim of some misfortune and blames everything/else but himself for things he does wrong. He only sees how "cruel and heartless" I am toward him & praises his wonderfulness toward me and his hard work at his job (which he does work 7 days a week now). I have begged him to file taxes, and he comes up with excuses (mainly my fault according to him) why he wasn't able to call about filing, and he completely disregards all priorities unless I am nice to him, & in his life. He claims that I am everything to him, and without me, life (as far as caring for his health and goal-related issues) have no purpose. I live in constant fear and guilt and I have lost everything in my life, and my health is failing... what is wrong with him?

I don't think there's really a simple diagnosis. Seems like there's a lot of things going on. I have to ask though, why do you stay? What is your relationship to him? Whatever is wrong with him, it's not going to be anything you can fix. It would be something he would have to work on and from the picture you've painted of him I'm guessing he's not going to be willing to change. But maybe you can get out of the situation.

There is no excuse for you to stay. Leave and go to a shelter or a friend. You are in charge of your own life and no one else's.

I have much more important question for you. What is wrong with you for staying with him?

To me, he sounds like a selfish and immature little baby. I think you are better off with out him in your life.

I am sorry for your situation. I agree with Kit, you are in charge of your own life. So you should leave.

First of all you need to know and understand that only a very small percentage of abusers can be helped, then they have to want the help, not just a means to get you back for more, serious long term help. Some abusers actually have personality disorders, narcissistic is one, They cannot be helped and there is nothing you can do to love them enough to make them well. Do an on line search and read all you can about all the personality disorders.

You need to leave this man. He is controlling, angry, abusive, and downright dangerous. His abuse will only get worse, never better.

Don't allow him to destroy your health. If someone were chasing you with a knife, you'd run, so why do you stay with him? He may be even more dangerous than the knife.

You need to RUN not walk away. Move out while he's at work and don't tell him where you're going. If you're afraid, then go to a woman's shelter.

Yes the question really is why do you stay?? Women that end up with men like these usually have issues of their own to begin with. Why would you let yourself be treated in this way? Don't you want to know how fulffiling it can be to be in a healthy loving relationship..

A relationship is supposed to make your life better not worse..

Narcissistic?

Who knows and who cares?

How old are you?

Pack up your stuff and leave. This is not going to end well for you if you stay.

If all eight strangers can post here and tell you to leave then you should really think about it.

I think a bit more background is needed such as your age and relationship to this person and how long you have been involved with him.

At the risk of sounding harsh, you need to stop allowing yourself to be treated like you are. You obviously make your own choices more than I think you are taking responsibility for. You say he controls your life, however, it sounds like he relies on you to control his. It seems like it makes a lot of frustration for both of you.

I think you have been enabling him even if you didn't mean to. I think you need to step back and allow those who are better trained and equipped deal with him.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.

Right on Cat1864

Do you have any respect for him? Does he respect you? Are you with him because of his kindness? His charm? His generosity? His good sense? His responsible nature? His kindness? My point is this. Why in the world would you want to stay with him? What does he bring to your life that enhances it? Run, run as fast and as far as you can.

Walk out the door and never look back, living homeless on the street would be better than living in that environment.

I have to agree with Shadowburn here, this isn't about him, it's about you. You are the one posting, and you are the one presenting your own case, in your own words, to describe the man you chose to be with.

Unless he posts otherwise, the only thing that matters here, is what you are going to do about your own situation.

Are there children involved here?

I honestly cannot see one positive reason for you to stay.

So, I have to ask you, why do you stay?

He is a nut, and he will make you one too, if he hasn't already. Time to go.

We can't tell you what to do. We give advice. My advice is this. Run and get as far away from this man as you possibly can.

It will get worse. You have to make that choice. Only you.

Well he just sounds like a peach.

And have you actually read your post? Read it. Out loud. To yourself. Again and again and again..

And then imagine its someone else's post.

What would you say?

Get the hell out.

You seem to be stuck in a very harmful and dangerous situation... your post doesn't reflect your awareness of this though you mention in detail about what all he does to terrorise you... if you don't leave now,it'll be too late.

Has she been back to answer?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Has she been back to answer?

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Nope, and I am not sure it is a she or what the real relationship is.