Me and my girlfriend recently graduated from a college in Pennsylvania. We are both from PA, went to high school together, and have been in our relationship for 5 year and 4 months now. The relationship has had its ups and downs, but overall we get along great and we both feel we are meant for each other. We recently got a new puppy in December of 09 and everything. I really thought I was going to be with this girl for the rest of my life. She is my whole world and I look forward to waking up to her everyday...

After we graduated, she said she wanted to move to Iowa to be with her other side of the family. She said she has to have her kids grow up near her cousin---who she claims is her best friend. She has family in both PA and IA, but wants to be with them. She has even come to my family ans said she's making the move with or without me. I love this girl more than anyone will ever know and she just crushed my heart by saying that. We've spent the last 5 years together just about everyday and she is willing to get rid of me just like that. What's going on with her?

And here's another side of the story. Her parents were recently divorced and her dad is from PA and her mom from IA. Her mom is moving back to Iowa now and I DON'T get along with her. She has told people that she want her daughter to be with someone from Iowa because all men from PA are the same... real childish stuff. Her mom also, threatened to kill herself twice because her daughter was leaving her alone and going to the movies with me. AND her mom also has a drinking problem. They have caught her hiding bottles of liquor in the closet. I mean we have signed a lease to live out there and now her mom is going back.

So, I swallowed my self-dignity, I guess, and decided I was going to make the move.

My girlfriend has been living out there for a month now. I stayed back to spend some time with my family before I started my job. Well, two days before the move, her mom calls and says my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I tried to ignore it, but then the day I was driving out to Iowa my girlfriend calls me and says if I'm not planning on living here my whole life, then stop wasting her time and go home. I was already on edge with the cheating thing, so I stood up for myself and with much anger... turned around and went back home. This happened when I was almost in Indiana... so about 9 hours from home.

Last night, she call me and breaks things off with me, 3 days after I made the trip. SInce that trip she hadn't called, but emailed me saying how bad of a person I was. And that my mom (who passed away from cancer 8 years ago) should be ashamed of how she raised me. I'm having the hardest time trying to get over her because I love her so much. I feel as though I have treated her in the best way imaginable. Is it her mom's influence or what? I'm so confused and so heart-broken over everything. Any advice would be much appreciated...

She didn't even know your mother how dare she say that!

My guess is she had made the decision to end the relationship when she said she was going with or without you.

Only she did not have the guts to say it to your face,in the end she sends you an email to end things and be rude to you,if that is not a sign of bad character I don't know what is!

I can understand that your life has been turned upside down,but now is the time to heal and make future plans without her.

Go no contact,gather your family around you and take comfort in the fact you won't have to listen to her mother ever again.

I know your going through a lot right now, and your hurting. If you really think about it aren't you relieved that you don't have to put up with her mother or obviously watch her turn into her mother!! Don't even take time to look back, move forward and keep your head up, that way you won't miss the chance to actually find the right woman who gives of herself without giving ultimatums of where your going to live to be together. Good luck

She's a big girl and makes her own decisions. Not her mother.

So don't excuse her bad behaviour by blaming it on her mother. After 5 years she treats you like this then I would move on.

I think she was banking on you not going with her, but, as you did she went to Plan B. Being rude and disrespectful.

Don't try to "figure it out" because it doesn't matter anymore.
It is what it is.

Start fresh and enjoy life free and single.

Leave the b@#$h to herself and her miserable mother.

Ok!
Did you ever find out where her first comment to you came from, the one about wasting her time? Was this something her mother instigated?

At any rate, this is probably for the best any way. If you both really had something she would not have so nonchalantly took off.
You'll get better with time. Just don't respond if she contacts you. I have a feeling she will.

The telling thing about all this was making a decision to move without input from you. That would have made me back up, and have second thoughts.

I know it hurts, but between her, and her mother, I doubt you would be happy with all the drama anyway.

Its a big red flag when a partner makes huge life changing decisions on there own, and never even asked how you felt about it.

Over time, I think you will see this as a bullet that you were lucky enough to dodge this time.