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-   -   We dated though high school (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=507377)

  • Sep 13, 2010, 08:27 PM
    carnekes
    We dated though high school
    I love her, we dated all though high school it was pretty much just us. We broke up a couple times throughout high school but nothing for more than 6 months. Im now a sofmore in college and she a freashmen and left me about a week ago. She says that she wants to be friends and I'm completley depressed and have no idea what to do. She has told me that I started dating her when she wasn't pretty and now she notices boys looking at her and wants to experience other people and make sure I'm the right person for her. I have know idea how to handle this all I know is I love her.
  • Sep 13, 2010, 11:40 PM
    EXYZNFC
    Oh dang this happens a lot and it happened to a lot of my friends. Sometimes they they ended up coming back. Right now she's just bull crapping is what I call it. (depressingly enough) sometimes this can be due to she wants a more atractive guy or it may be as she said, she want to be sure, I don't know, and I don't think you know. Or mabe you became one of those guyz who is great but is great in the (friend zone) only, not bad but its not what your looking for. One thing is for sure, don't go desperate and don't be to hasty, just do accordingly to that which is True. Also mabe taking her or going with her to church and reading the Bible can often increase respect and might work for you.

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud - 1 Corinthians 13:4
  • Sep 13, 2010, 11:49 PM
    aimee_tt

    Let her go. Move on to bigger and better things. She may come back but don't wait around for her. Enjoy the freedom. Yes it will be hard for while but you will get past the sadness and realise your fine without her. Who knows in 6 months time another girl might come along who blows you away and makes the ex seem like a distant memory.

    Don't wait for her to decide what she wants. Do your own thing.
  • Sep 14, 2010, 05:25 AM
    Devorameira

    She's made the decision to stop seeing you, so use this to your advantage and get out there and make a life of your own.

    You need to take this time to heal and then get out there and enjoy life without her. Don't depend on her coming back to you.

    Your situation may end up differently, but this same scenario happened to a friend of mine and she never came back - she actually married another guy within 6 months.
  • Sep 14, 2010, 06:03 AM
    BMI

    Speculation as to why shemay have left you will do no good. The only thing for certain is that her explanation about making sure you're the right one is nonsense (I've heard the same explanation on these boards last week. Must be going around.)

    She is at that age where it is normal to explore new things. The transition from high school to college is one of those major transitions that students make. Some embrace the change, some prefer the way it was. You are certainly not the first to encounter this problem.

    Unfortunetely, these things rarely result in the person coming back. Best thing to do is let her go, if she does come back than deal with that when/if it happens. Anything you do at this point with respect to contacting her or trying to win her back will ultimately push her further away while making you feel even worse as a result of her increasing distance from you.

    Trust everyone when they tell you that going after her is a major, major mistake.

    Best of luck.
  • Sep 14, 2010, 06:24 AM
    Jake2008
    You may love her, but you cannot make her love you.

    Regardless of what her reasons are, or how truthful or how meaningless, the relationship has come to an end. Because there has been a long history together, does not equate to a future of being together.

    What to do, is learn how to accept that it is over, and consider it to now be your past. At some point you may jump into another relationship with her, but that is not a given, and to base your own future on that possibility, will only leave you disappointed and empty.

    When you don't let go of any relationship, not pointing the finger at you here, but just in general, you keep yourself stuck in first gear, waiting for an expected outcome, so you can jump back into second gear. And while you are waiting, looking out the window at life passing by, time moves on anyway, and you are left hanging onto a dream, that likely won't happen.

    Expectations of rekindling love, and a loving relationship with this girl, are holding you back.

    Accept that, for whatever reason, it is The End. It's over. Accept it and free yourself from all the 'what ifs', and worrying about whether a future will ever happen with her.

    Live the present and the future under your own steam, and let the (now) past, go. Deal with the future, in the future, and leave the past, in the past.
  • Sep 14, 2010, 09:38 AM
    JK191

    She's straight up lying to you.

    She doesn't want to know if you're the one she wants to be with. She already knows you're not, she's trying to spare your feelings and like a typical woman completely failing at it.

    She basically understands that she can find other (better) people to date and she decided that she's better than you now. My advice on this?

    Turn your back to her, never look back and live your life however you want. No point trying to salvage a relationship with someone that fickle right?

    Good luck carnecks.

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