I am 27 years old man, I came to north America in 2005 alone without family, and that's when basically my life starting to change when I immigrated. I was very happy the first couple of years, but things after that started going down hill for me. On those years I met lots of girls, but I never had a real relationship till I met this girl( Linda). I loved her to death and she did too she was a couple years older then me then and she had a kid, I had some of my best moments with her, love making and so on, I loved her kid and she loved me too but when we moved together things started to change from helping her raising the kid to dealing with her ex. I did anything to make the kid happy and her as well, but our love to each other had never changed. After over a year she got pregnant we were happy in the beginning till her parents got in and started screwing with her thoughts, she ended up getting in abortion, I dropped her off at the clinic I felt that I was having a heart attack. In the mean while I never was faithful to her I use to work out of town and when I do I mess around with other girls( why do I have the need to do that if I am in love with her?) I told her about it , I felt that I needed to be honest with her but I had never felt guilty about it or sorry, she forgave me and we worked through it. Few months after abortion we broke up.we were still seeing each other after we broke up for sex for love and just to have each other. I loved her but I was not sure if I actually did I have this urge on wanting to see her every day. In the mean while I went back to modeling and I dated few girls from the modeling agency, I wouldn't say I`v dated them, its more of a sex thing .couple of months later I quite the modeling agency and I tried to keep away from girls because I just end up hurting them :(, But I love that attention so much the hot girls the sex the fun times, I was really bad , I dated over 5 girls at once, I use to sleep with 3 different girls a day. Some of them broke with me because they were worried to fall in love with me but they just want to have sex,I was fine with it. I had no problems in picking up girls anywhere from bars to coffee shops because of the good looks and the smooth talk. Over a year later it became boring sometimes I have to work really hard just to get it up and I have been always thinking about ( Linda). So I dated this girl just to be with one girl , she is fun she definitely loves me, and she does anything to make me happy. I was attracted to her but never fell in love with her or I don't even know what love is. This was 2 years after I broke with Linda I kept seeing Linda through the whole time, and while I was dating this new girl ( lacy) for the first year. Linda wanted us to get back together as I wanted too but she was moving out of the city, I wanted to be with her, but I couldn't deal with idea of her having a kid and still fighting with her kids` father and that caused us to always fight, and was not able to move out of city. So she moved away and I moved in with (lacy). I started cheating on her again and again she did forgive me and we kind of moved on when I told her about the first one or she actually found out about it, I have been with lacy for over 2 years now, I keep thinking about her ( Linda she is married now)all the times I don't want to hurt Lacy and she is a really good company she keeps me happy but the worst sex , sometimes I feel that I am wasting her time sometimes I love her sometimes not sometimes I want to marry her sometimes not, I am so confused about my emotional life , I don't know what to do any more :( help me please