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-   -   My girlfriend says she is confused and needs space? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=506712)

  • Sep 11, 2010, 12:26 PM
    fornaught
    My girlfriend says she is confused and needs space?
    I'll try to be as brief as possible. My girlfriend (of just under 2 years) and I decided to go on a break for a month. For both of us, this has been the healthiest/longest relationship (I'm 24, she's 22). While we fight occasionally, it has been really, really good (talked about moving together once we're done school etc.) This summer we both studied abroad, and we handled it very well (she had some trust issues early on in the relationship but by this point we were very solid). The problems came about once she came back from abroad. I am a medical student and she is a graduating senior, so both of us have time commitments etc. As she came back, I was getting ready to start school again (it's an hour away from our hometown, where we grew up together). This is where I've now noticed she was more distant, and we began having really stupid silly fights. It comes to us blowing up, and her explaining how she is confused (about life) and needs to find out who she is. Basically, she is saying she still loves me and wants me in her life, but for now she can't use me as a crutch anymore. I'm pretty sure her being abroad (and finally with friends she likes since she doesn't like hers at home, and out of her living situation) gave her a reminder of what single life was like (she was faithful I have no doubt, I mean just independence). Her older sister is also getting married, and I think wedding dress shopping (day before we fought) gave her an "Oh S****" moment, thinking I may be the final guy in her life. I was a mess, but am better now. I try to only let her initiate conversation, and this has been going on for about 2 weeks. Any suggestions or comments or thoughts?
  • Sep 11, 2010, 01:06 PM
    Kitkat22

    She's telling you in a kind way that
    She wants out. Let her go and move on. Go NC
  • Sep 11, 2010, 03:48 PM
    LifeChangesMan
    Hey man,

    Sounds similar, to my story, a bajillion other stories I have read on this site, no worries though, your choices are simple and actually and straight forward, You let her go, and go no contact and heal up buddy, that's all you can honestly do, and all the stuff you just mentioned like her going abroad, and dress shopping and what not... has nothing to do with her leaving, it was going to happen whether she went or did those things, your still young and two years isn't that long of a time, I understand the feelings you have for her, but be strong don't contact her and don't answer her, you will become a better person, and no one knows what your futures each hold, stay strong, and fate will take it's course.

    -LCM
  • Sep 11, 2010, 05:51 PM
    Homegirl 50

    If she wants a break give her one.
    Sounds like she may want out. The only thing you can to is to let her go.
    She wants to experience life. That is normal and healthy.
  • Sep 11, 2010, 09:23 PM
    Snwarrwn18
    I think you should just give her space. Coming from a girls point of view I'd say check in to see how she's doing from time to time. Let her know that you care. After you give her some space let her know what you've been thinking about. If you think she's the one let her know.

    I know that going to look at dresses could have either made her want one or made her want space to figure it out. Bottom line is she's obviously confused. Let her know how you feel. After time apart and graduate g and moving forward in life. You guys need to either move up or move on. She's letting y
  • Sep 11, 2010, 09:24 PM
    Snwarrwn18
    Comment on Snwarrwn18's post
    You know that the status quo s not working for her. So you should give her space and also take space for yourself to figure out what you each want.
  • Sep 11, 2010, 11:55 PM
    vanheart
    Comment on Kitkat22's post
    Yup. Go on your happy way.

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