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-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Pregnant and need help (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=50655)

  • Dec 27, 2006, 12:08 PM
    memyselfandi
    19yr old mommy to be
    I'm about 8 weeks pregnant with a baby that doesn't even belong to my boyfriend.. and this baby coming to being was not a result of consensual sex. I choose to keep it for a lot of reasons, but now I'm faced with the constant worry of the dangerous drug dealing father coming for me.. He makes all sorts of threats, but my biggest fear is that he will take it from me. He hasn't done anything for me or the child since he's found out that I'm pregnant, buti want to proceed with a child custody case and child support and I have no idea how to go about it.. please help! :)
  • Dec 27, 2006, 12:17 PM
    J_9
    Hello, I moved your question here so that it will get better answers. There are many knowlegable people in the relationship category that possibly would not have answered this question in the pregnancy category.

    That said, have you considered getting an order of protection against this man?
  • Dec 27, 2006, 12:34 PM
    bkdaniels
    You should report to your local Child Support Evforcement Agency in your state. They can hep you throughout the process of filing child support and custody.


    However, if contact with the father means putting you and your children in danger, you might want to reconcider filing child support. In most states, once you file child support, the fater is entitled to visitation rights.

    Although some threats are given to intimidate the other, you should really take these threats seriously. You wouldn't want to do anything to further advance his current anger and aggression.

    Homicide victims have advocacy and support groups to give financial help for funeral costs, autopsy's, and relocation expences (if needed), so you should talk with your local Prosecuting Attorney or District Attorney to evaluate the evidence of a rape case. When there is a conviction, additional support may be granted to homicide victims from many indivisuals, the state, and private organizations, this financial support may also be given to victims as well.

    I doubt if child support is going to benefit you in this case, considering the father is a drug dealer and have no job, and may never get a job. However, I still recommend that you file just in case anything ever happens to him, his child can be entitled to Social Secutiry benefits.

    Hope this answers your question!

    REFERENCE(S)

    1. Administration for Children and Families, 2006. The Office of Child Support Enforcement

    2. Comphensation For Rape Victims, 2006. http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/wie/vicwit...ctims_comp.pdf
  • Dec 27, 2006, 01:25 PM
    talaniman
    I doubt if he can get custody, since he has no visible means of support but to be safe the district attorney can advise you on whether to pursue charges against this person or direct you to getting an order of protection if there are threats. You should take any threat as serious and pursue legal protection. If this person has raped you then there is no telling what he is capable of. You must protect yourself.
  • Dec 28, 2006, 09:08 AM
    s_cianci
    See a family lawyer. (S)he can steer you right and tell you everything you need to do.
  • Dec 28, 2006, 12:38 PM
    richsaha2007
    If the father is making those idle threats and coming after you, you must go to the local authories. You must get a restraining order to protect yourself and your unborn child. You have the right to seek help if you don't feel safe around this man. You must seek help!
  • Dec 28, 2006, 01:51 PM
    momincali
    Can you move? Do you have any relatives he may not know about that live far away (out of state would be ideal) that you can temporarily stay with.

    I know this might sound drastic, but after reading that this guy is a dangerous drug dealer, nothing is too drastic to secure the safety of my child and myself.

    If he's a drug dealer and he's dangerous, I seriously doubt that 1.) the district attorney will be able to get any money from him since he's not the most law abiding guy around and 2.) not sure how much a restraining order will actually hold him back, or any thugs he may send your way. Now, definitely file the restraining order, just don't count on it too much to actually protect you.

    Why you would think it's okay to be even remotely involved with this guy is beyond me and it really makes me pretty darn mad that women like you don't think twice about the consequences (i.e. getting knocked up by a dangerous criminal like this guy) and that you would let him know you were pregnant. Now, your kid has to pay the price.

    I would highly suggest that you do what you have to do to protect yourself and your baby. There's nothing a court could award you that would truly help this child if he's as bad as you say he is. It's better he not be involved in this baby's life at all.

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