My boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs throughout these 3 1/2 years. We met online and after a year we started having a relationship in real life. He never wants to have sex, but I know he thinks I'm pretty and he doesn't want anyone else to have me.

He moved to north California ( we lived in south California before)and I moved in with him and his family last year. I will be turning 20 and he will be 24 in two months. We are living in the living room while his sister and her husband live in the master bedroom and his parents live in the small bedroom. His sister will be having a baby in October bringing the total in this house up to 7 people. I hate his family but I　ｄｅï½�ｌ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅï½�ã€€ï ½‚ｅｃï½�ｕｓｅ　Ｉ　ｌï½�ｖｅ　ｈｉ ï½�。

I had been talking to him about moving out on our own but yesterday I really wanted to sit down and talk to him about it because he usually brushes it off. I feel like we would make enough money to live together, but he is worried. I thought it was because his mom does everything for him. He is like a 24 year old big baby. While we were talking he told me he did not want to move because he is not ready. Then he said he would not want to move mainly because of me. He is scared when we fight he has no where to escape to (Although he doesn't right now anyway since I am living with him?.. )

He feels like it would be moving to fast and that soon I will be expecting marriage. This hurt my feelings a bit.. I was not expecting marriage, but has he never thought about it these past 3 1/2 years?

His sister is married, having a baby, and still leeching off her parents at age 26. Her and her husband have known each other for less time then us and they got married 3 months after knowing each other. Ｈï½�ｗ　ï½�ï½�　Ｉ　ｔｈｅ　ï½�ｎｅ〠€ï½�ï½�ｖｉｎｇ　ｔï½�ï½�　ｆï½�ｓｔ？

ï¼³ï½�ｒｒｙ　ｆï½�ｒ　ｔｈｅ　ｌï½�ï½ Žï½‡ã€€ï½�ï½�ｓｔ，　ｂｕｔ　ï½�ï½�　ｉ㠀€ï½—ï½�ｓｔｉｎｇ　ï½�ｙ　ｌｉｆｅ　 ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｇｕｙ？We have been through so much. I'm afraid he wants to be sheltered by his family forever and I don't want to live like that.

Well... maybe you could move out by yourself and finally start your own life? You're 20, and spent 3.5 years in this relationship. He is not ready and he may not be ready for years to come... doesn't mean you have to wait around.

You live in a living room right now... meaning there is no privacy or anything else for the two of you. Why would you put up with all of this, him and his dysfunctional family. Just imagine how it all would look like when the baby will be born.

Maybe it's time to start making your own decisions in life. At age of 20, you're perfectly capable of just that.

Good luck.

Thanks shadow. When I moved out of my moms house (before I moved in with my boyfriend) I lived with my friend, so I always had help with that kind of stuff. Doing everything alone feels intimidating, but your right, I need to be an individual.

Him and his sister both still living at home is a really bad sign. Living in his parent's living room with no privacy is ridiculous, especially after a 3 1/2 year relationship. It's really unfair to you and his parents.

Since he can't leave his family, then you definitely need to move out on your own completely without him. If he has no desire to even discuss marriage after 3 1/2 years, I just don't think he'll ever want to marry you.

Get out and gain some independence and dump him. He's just not your "Mr. Right".

Apparently he doesn't feel like your up to his mother standards of taking care of him. After 3 1/2 years and you still are not expecting any type of commitment, wow no wonder he doesn't feel he needs to worry about your wants. This man needs to be thrown over your shoulder and not for a burping but for you to move on. Start looking for a real man who knows how to live without mama's strings being attached!! ---Good luck

I'm not in agreement with some of the points mentioned in above posts. I think it is you imposing what you think is acceptable onto him. Is the argument here when should someone move out at the risk of being called a momma's boy? Some people, such as yourself, become independent earlier than others, some of their own accord and some out of circumstance. However, because you moved out and do not rely on other does not mean everyone should be bound by your interpretation of the 'rules'.

He has stated that he is not ready to move out. Perhaps it has nothing to do with money, perhaps he enjoys his family, or perhaps he does just find it easier. That being said, his reason are his own and who is to argue with them?

In my opinion, you are forcing what you want on him. Same thing with this marriage talk. 3.5 years is not an eternity, especially at age 20 and 24 respectively. All this talk of growing up and being a man. Marriage is not somerhing to be rushed into, I think many would argue that at your ages marriage may not be a good idea (taking into account maturity levels, which I have no idea about as I know neither of you).

All that being said, you are perfectly in your own right to move out on your own. It is not the end of the relationship, just a personal preference. If he does not follow than you either wait or move on. Simple as that.

I've always liked my independence and I like others who are independent. So in that respect, I'm totally with you. But, he did say he's not ready to move and I know what that's like too 'cause I had to do a year at mom's before I could buy a place of my own. Granted, 24 is a little late not to be ready to live independently.

Even if a couple is still in love with one another but isn't looking in the same direction, it's probably best to move on. You two want different things, and a place to live is a huge thing. You could be waiting for a long time until he's ready.

Go find your own happiness and place in life, and leave him where you found him. If you haven't found better in say... 20 years, go back, and try again. He probably will still be where you left him.

If a guy ain't ready to be with you on his own, he just ain't the one.