She loves me but wants to date.
So back in June I broke it off with my wife and moved out. A few weeks after a stripper who I have known for about a year asked me to dinner. Well we hit it off great and it was nice to not be alone again. The First few months where filled with the Honeymoon stage, nobody could do wrong and we both wanted to be with each other. She said "I love you first" and told me she would never be good enough for me, as well as talking about long term relationships.
Well due to her exboyfriend going to jail for beating her and her daughter she needed a place to live. I also was looking for a place to live so we stupidly decided to move in together. Within 2 weeks of living together she started pushing me away, and ended all talk of the future relationships with my children and I.
As this happened I did what I always do with a problem and work harder at it, (big mistake). The harder I worked the more she pushed back. After I found out that her exboyfriend had been released from jail and they where contacting each other I confronted her and we got into a pretty bad fight. The next 2 days where filled with some pretty rough makeup $%#. On the third day after everything was "Settled" she went out with her friends to the beach, when I got home from work she was there and telling me she was going to go back out with her friends, now her friend was a male who is def interested in her and I told her I was uneasy with the situation. After 5 AM rolled around with no calls or txt, I made a choice to break it off. When I got out of the shower I found her knocking on the bathroom door drunk as hell and saying she was sorry but lost track of time.
I told her this is the end and I'm not putting up with that kind of crap. Well we both agreed later that day after I got home from work that it was better to be separated and keep casual visits. This was about 3 weeks ago, and the visits are awesome don't get me wrong. However I have an issue, I have feelings for her and she did for me at some point. She is pulling pure commitmentphobe in a txt book case. So I told her what your supposed to tell commitmentphobes and gave her a goal deadline. If by 2012 we are still going on like this I'm looking for a long term relationship. She agreed and I'm moving out this week.
I have a feeling that she will not be coming back to me anytime soon due to the fact she contacted her Ex again yesterday, then took it out on me when he didn't show up. (its his MO) I'm turning into her girlfriend by being around for this crap and she is going after the unavailable Ex.
I have plans with her this Friday the first week out of our house, and again for a weekend trip to see her family in another state.
Some background on this situation is strange, I'm getting mixed signals all over the place.
She wants me to move out, yet her father, sister, grandmother, and daughter all think we are together, we still have amazing "casual visits", and we get along great when she isn't trying to keep in contact with her exboyfriend. I know time will heal her issues with her Ex, and after ditching her yesterday he is in the dog house but still uneasy about this whole thing.
She hasn't cost me any money, so I'm not being used for money, but I do fell used for my emotions.
I know I have the opportunity to have casual sex with a stripper for as long as I want with no strings attached... and I'm *****ing about it, but should I just bail? All signs point to yes.. but good lord this is amazing, I'm handling her finances, we workout together, we go to the bar and have fun. Her friends like me, and her best friend keeps telling me that I have nothing to worry about.
I know she is still in the grieving process with her Ex, and she misses him and his son but being beaten and isolated for 2 years can do that to a person "Stockholm syndrome" I believe its called, with a smattering of Battered wife cycle.
By me being around to pick up the pieces I'm I playing the fool, or doing what a real man should do? How do I compete with a man who has almost killed her and she still loves him?
She has stated that I'm clingy, but I think otherwise I will admit I've been hanging on her the past week only cause it's the last week we will be together in the house, I'm freaking out about being alone again, and she is doing the same.
She has also stated that she does see us in a relationship down the road but she needs to deal with her own issues, as do I with my ExWife and custody battle. She also stated that she wants to date other people and if I have the chance to meet somebody else I should also take it.
So as you can see I have mixed signals all over the place, her Exboyfriend has never met her family, and is unaccepted by her friends. Her daughter and I get along great and both of them feel safe with me. We spend a far amount of time together and enjoy most of it. She even took me out to dinner the other night to surprise me. As far as I can see, she does love me and want to be with me but also needs time and space.
Any input would be awesome.