Problems in Marriage,Infidelity,Honesty issues
I have been married to my wife for 12 years and been through a lot together we have children too. Our marriage has been a bit rough for me I have honesty issues and have not been honest with my wife over several things but never cheated on her and she has a jealous personality which she thinks I'm cheating all the time. Anyhow my wife has cheated on me 4 times over 12 years and I forgave her for it and it took a lot on my shoulders but I did forgive her. Well we have separated on 2 occasions one because we lost our 1 year old daughter to leaukimia 6 years ago and the 2nd time because of the cheating it just took a toll on my heart. Well during our separation of 8 months I met someone and idiot me had a one night stand. I really didn't think my marriage would get back ever but my heart changed and I took my wife back but never made any mention of the one night stand. 5 months later my neighbour told her about it so I was in trouble she was devastated I did eventually tell her the truth about it. Now she wants a divorce because aparently my cheating is worse because I had sex and she only had oral sex now in my books cheating is just that cheating there is no grey area. I know I did the wrong thing and probably deserve what I get. I'm no angel and have made my mistakes in life & marriage but I do love my wife. Just not sure how to think of this so confused hurt ashamed and guilty. Please help