I am in love with a girl who is from different caste.She is very good looking, has a very good personality and she is a very balanced and well-organised in every perspective.She too loves me a lot and always ensures that I am very happy. Last month I told this to my parents. But they rejected saying she is from a different caste. Moreover I have a sister who is in a relationship with a guy who is also from different caste.Though caste might not be an issue for our generation at least, he and his family are totally in a bad shape financially and socially. My sister will be 25 next year and this guy did not figure out his future yet. There is no way he would settle down in an year or two but my sister is very stubborn. My parents are very sad because they see no happy future for my sister with him.. They want to marry her to a well settled, nice guy when she becomes 25 and she is not listening.. Stating this also as a reason my father told he just cannot accept my relationship and reject my sister's and she would feel they don't love her.. So my father wants me to cut my relationship for my sisters sake. But I told my dad not to put any caste issues into it and also said I can't give up my love for my sister and requested him not to link both of them..

I don't know how this matter will turn out in the future. My GF and I are both 23. She is facing some pressure from her family regarding marriage and told me she is going to tell her parents as soon as possible..

The problem here is, my sister is too stubborn and it looks like she's going to wait till her BF gets settled.This will take at least 3 years.It might actually be more also. My girl friend is 23. Even her parents want to marry her before she at 25. But I can't tell my dad that I want to marry her in a year or two since my sister does not want to marry for at least 2 or 3 years..

How can I tackle this situation. I don't want to hurt my parents. At the same time I love my GF a lot and can't live without her?

At some point you, and your girl will have to take the risk of pursuing your own happiness, and live your own lives without your parents love, permission, or blessings.

Your sisters life is her own, and her responsibility. Are you from India, where the caste system is more than a tradition??

I ask because in America we deal with the person, and not the parents, though there is a class system, but not officially. So what culture/country are you from?

Be honest to your parents, if you will lie to them you will hurt them even more cause the truth will come out sooner or later, better sooner. So what that your sister is older if she's not ready to make a commitment now and you are then go for it don't put your life on hold do to your sister (thats not fair to you). You are an adult and this is your life and if you really love your girlfriend like you say that you do then speak up. Your parents yes will be mad, upset with you at first, but eventually in time will get over it, it's your life, your parents lived and live their life how they see fit now it's your turn. And there is nothing wrong with the younger one getting married first, my 2 sisters younger then me married and I'm not and that's OK. Truth will set you free, follow your heart and do what is right for you, you only live once, don't be afraid of your parents they love you and will love you nomatter what. And with your sister she will do what is right for her and when the time is right for her she will commit and get married. BE HONEST, SPEAK FROM YOUR HEART. GOOD LUCK !

I was told to take problems apart in to separate decisions and then it becomes more manageable.. what is best for you, for you and your girlfriend, for you and your parents, for you and your sister, for your sister and your parents, for your sister and her boyfriend.. and so and so forth.

From what you say.. your sister is not prepared to make sensible choices.. if the person is not mature enough to handle a relationship.. he may need to have a few more girlfriends before he is ready and your sister is only wasting her boyfriends development. Obviously wasting her own development as well. However there is a difference being respoinsible and managing ones finances and being wealthy. Some people are so stingy and ungenerous.. no matter how wealthy.. they have no emotional love to share and others are in between so one must really judge the person.. the boyfriend and not his salary. His capacity to actually be mature and be responsible,

As for you.. are you sure you are a good match. If you are.. you need to educate your parents but don't wait for ever if you are sure.. she is the one. As Indians we are so tied to our parents who may or may not know what is best for us. In my own family, the arranged marriages were the best as the parents chose the right kind of spouse.. not CASTE OR MONEY but personality. IT was a good fit. My grandmother with a Grade 8 education was more sensible than many women with a ph D. So traditional judgements need to be viewed with proper filters. We are christian and rebelled against the caste system however, whatever your religion or lack of.. it is important to see if the two people are able to make a better whole than the two individuals involved. Will you be proud of your wife or will you feel she is a compromise and embarrassment. Many people marry individuals that they are not proud of and live unhappy lives and cheat on them so marry only someone you respect and are proud of and who will respect you also.. not just one way respect.