How do I get rid of this mental block about my body?
I have a really bad body image. I kind of generally don't like my body, because even though I'm at a healthy weight, I could lose some pounds (why is losing a few pounds harder than losing a lot?), I have cellulite... but my biggest hang up are my small breasts. I just don't feel they're sexy.
I have let too many things get to me. The media. Porn. Stupid comments from when I was in high school. But most importantly my ex's comments. After he became comfortable with me, he started commenting how this or that celeb were hot. Stupidly, I asked him if it had to do with their breasts, he said yes, that every guy's ideal was of a slim girl with big breasts. I let this get to me and it kind of planted a seed in my brain that small breasts were not good enough for him or other guys.
Then he made some other jerkish remarks, like when he said my breasts had got smaller due to weight loss, and that if I ended being flat chested he would lose his attraction to me. Unless I got implants. He also watched a lot of big breast porn, and in bed, he tried some stuff with me that for me, were kind of physically impossible. This got him disappointed.
Even though we're no longer together, it still affects me. He's the only guy I've been with. Now that I'm single, I feel like I'm not sexy. Pretty, yeah, maybe, but not sexy. I see a lot of gorgeous small breasted women, both celebs and real life girls, yet I don't think they're sexy or hot like women such as Scarlet Johanson.
I can't see myself as being as sexy as these women. I feel inferior and like I can't make a guy turned on with my body. How do I break this mental block? I have little money, so therapy is not an option.