I have a really bad body image. I kind of generally don't like my body, because even though I'm at a healthy weight, I could lose some pounds (why is losing a few pounds harder than losing a lot?), I have cellulite... but my biggest hang up are my small breasts. I just don't feel they're sexy.

I have let too many things get to me. The media. Porn. Stupid comments from when I was in high school. But most importantly my ex's comments. After he became comfortable with me, he started commenting how this or that celeb were hot. Stupidly, I asked him if it had to do with their breasts, he said yes, that every guy's ideal was of a slim girl with big breasts. I let this get to me and it kind of planted a seed in my brain that small breasts were not good enough for him or other guys.

Then he made some other jerkish remarks, like when he said my breasts had got smaller due to weight loss, and that if I ended being flat chested he would lose his attraction to me. Unless I got implants. He also watched a lot of big breast porn, and in bed, he tried some stuff with me that for me, were kind of physically impossible. This got him disappointed.

Even though we're no longer together, it still affects me. He's the only guy I've been with. Now that I'm single, I feel like I'm not sexy. Pretty, yeah, maybe, but not sexy. I see a lot of gorgeous small breasted women, both celebs and real life girls, yet I don't think they're sexy or hot like women such as Scarlet Johanson.

I can't see myself as being as sexy as these women. I feel inferior and like I can't make a guy turned on with my body. How do I break this mental block? I have little money, so therapy is not an option.

First, for perspective, I'm a guy.

Your struggle is real.

Don't beat yourself up about that.

I can tell you this about me, and this only applies to me...

I've dated women with many different forms and figures.
I have dated one woman who had a great breat job... with "great" meaning most guys could not tell.
And the truth, for me, is this...

The sexiest thing on earth is a confident woman.

no... I am so not going to deny that we men are just frickin fidiots about form and shape. Id like to say it wasn't hard wired. It is. At least in living it, I believe it.

...

And yet all that said... I can tell you that the two biggest crushes of my life were so not the typical "ideal"


The first, she was a firm a cup. But I remember her taste and her kiss and her back arching with my arm under her. I remember her voice. I remember my hands on her chest and my wild pleasure in tasting her.

And that had NOTHING to do with inches or cup sizes.

Yes... I do not disagree that a woman of bigger stature might make me take a second look... but seriously... I know I'm an idiot... you know I'm an idiot... do your best to just be you.

If the other XY chromosomed moron who is with you doesn't get it... well... again... you are not the reason for his unsuredness.

Its him. Blame him.

Better than blaming me. ;)

It's good to know that feeling has nothing to do with physique, then :)

Although I don't want to fall in love again (or have someone fall in love with me) in a looooooong time, but it's good to know.

Hello,

I too have smaller breasts. I can understand where you are coming from.

I, however, find my breasts to be sexy. I don't know why, I just do. I have never had complaints from any man.

With all due respect, your ex boyfriend was an immature creep. I bet that if he had never said anything rude about them, that you wouldn't be this upset over them. I do believe that you still would have felt a little un easy about your size, but not this badly. Shame on him.

I realize that men like a woman's body and yes, if they have bigger breasts, they may do a double take. KP just admitted to that. Lol Just know that there are men out there who are fine with smaller breasts. If a man in the future does have issues with your, then trust me when I say this, you don't want him.

Be yourself.

A woman with big breast or small breasts can be sexy.

Just look at Kiera Knightley, small breasts, HOT super HOT!

I hope more men on here will reasure you of this, because I know it's easy for me to say it, and I know that you may be thinking, well Enigmas a girl. Lol

Life is a race, sometimes you're ahead and sometimes you're behind, but in the end you will realize that you're only racing against yourself.

With that happy hallmark crap out of the I need to Qualify myself. I am a guy. I like stacked women, but not skinny women. I would rather date someone with Christie Alley's proportions than someone with Calista Flockhart's. It is just the way I am.

With that said, only you can really improve your body image. I will let you in on a few secrets from the book of quality men. We don't mind cellulite, it happens to every woman. This one time at a strip joint, the dancer couldn't have been 100lbs soaking wet, and she had lumpy thighs. It is something that all women have, or will have.

With respect to breasts. We have preferences and you can argue that our preference for larger breasts is a evolutionary adaptation driven to find women who will be best able to feed children. It doesn't really matter though. Most men are just happy to be allowed access to play with them. Small breasts are just as fun as large ones.

The psychology of your boyfriend is worth mentioning briefly. I believe that he was looking for little things to pick apart. He was unhappy, whether that was your fault or not I can't say, and was trying to pick and pull at the threads in the relationship. I believe that he was a poor man who couldn't knuckle and say what he wanted to and resort to these petty comments to speak for him.

On keeping up with actresses and models and the like. Stop. Really just stop. You've lost before you have begun. For example. I am also certain that they used a body double to Kiera Knightley in the final scenes of Pirates of the Caribbean 3. They have teams of people working on them to make them beautiful. In the end it is all a lie. Even Madonna has help. I always thought she aged well, but the picture is a lie.

Stop judging yourself based on the standards of magazines and hollywood. You'll end up poorer for it. Watch shows like "What not to wear", "How to look good naked", and the like. They show what REAL women look like and how to dress real women. When you start judging yourself based upon yourself, that is where the confidence starts. Find tumblrs, like "The Tummy Project" and read back on them. It will help you accept what you look like. The confidence you will gain because of that will make you gorgeous.

The sooner you stop hater, the better and easier this will be. We are all beautiful people.

I was burnt (twice!) when I was small and have burn scars covering my breasts,stomach,tights and bottom.

I've never had a guy go... ohh gross! Never,and I've had my share.

I have no problem standing buck naked in full light in front of my boyfriend or being chased up the stairs!

But to get to that point,where I loved my body,I had to find something about I liked.

And that was the shape... classic hourglass,so I searched for underwear and found that by wearing different types I could enhance my body.

Instead of considering surgery check out the underwear section of a department store.

You will be amazed how a simple bra can transform your breasts,with just the bra on,or under clothes,giving nearly that 'oh my I'm hot' surprise.

As for your ex,he left an umpleasent mark on your confidence,he's going to have a hard time finding a women that fits his criteria,and they won't stick around when they discover he's a jerk.

There are guys out there who will love you and your body,but first you have to love you.

Look at the women you admire and look sexy to you,what is it about them that makes them sexy?

Would you think about having a professional photo taken?

Getting your hair,makeup and the right clothes on,you might be surprised how the camera loves you,and its something you will always have.

First off guy #1, was a clueless idiot.

I love big NATURAL breasts, but know what, I married a woman with nice, real natural and perky A cups (and at 46 they still are as perky as ever) and never once had problems with them that size. In fact she wanted implants for herself, and I convinced her, a nice natural A is superiour to fake C cups.

Yeah I still like big ones... but I also like small ones (and everything in between) and besides they each have their pro's and con's. Be proud of yourself. At least its all you.

Reconstructive surgery is the sole exception in my mind.

Those skinny girls on magazine covers... 9-year-old type bodies with D cups! Oh my, there's another, I say to myself. Then I turn the magazine around so the cover is hidden. The media plays many games. Photography of women is probably the cruelest.

I spent over half my life hating my body. My breasts are too small, my hips are too wide. I don't look like a 9-year-old with a D cup. Therefore, I'm unforgivably ugly and unacceptable.

Then I was leafing through an art journal at work. There were all these drawings of really "ugly" nude women. At the end of the article, special thanks was given to the nude models. Then it hit me, these were real women! This was how women actually looked! They looked just like you and me and the lady across the street. You would never, ever see one of them on the cover of a magazine.

Men are visual, they love eye candy. That's fine. But a good man will not make unkind comments about your body simply because it is not posed, airbrushed and lighted just right.

Large breasts do not produce more milk than small ones either. A mammary gland is about the size of a fried egg. Anything larger is mostly fat, or an implant.

Plus EVERY and I mean EVERY model you see in a catalog or Magazine... have had their pictures photoshopped. To remove cellulite, wrinkles, pimples, scars, or to enhance their bustline, or waistline...

If you think the perfection you see in a magizine is real, do you believe Professional wrestling is a real sport?

Ours bodies change as we age... even if we do take good care of ourselves and don't let it all go after you get married. A guy worth having isn't going to leave you because your boobs aren't big enough. The guy worth having is going to be attracted to you for your personality... not your bust size.

The same goes for women looking for men... ignore the man to go for the look... or the six-pack. Doesn't be surprised when that's all you get.

Now that doesn't mean... pig out and grow to 300 lbs. That will put off most men except chubby chasers. Your average man can and does appreciate an average looking woman that takes good care of herself.

Ever wonder why the hot thing on Porn today is MILF. Guys like real women more than Surgically enhanced Barbie dolls.

Look up MILF... the last word can't be repeated on this site.