Hello, my girlfriend broke up with me because she wants to grow up and be independent. She never went without a boyfriend before and most of them were jerks. She always said I was such a good man and her favorite. We were always truthful and open to one another. I'm currently in college and she is one year younger than me but was still in high school. She hung out with my friends who were going nowhere and that really stunted her maturity and didn't think about her future. Now after she dated me she grew up a little and I believe I sparked something special in her and now she wants to be single for a long time and figure out what she wants to do with her life. We promised each other over the course of our relationship that we would still be friends if we broke up and that is definitely going to happen. Though sadly it just won't be the same.

It's just... it's tough. It was all really sudden and she thought about it when she got into college. She broke up with me 2 weeks into college and it was an extreme shock. I have thought long and hard about us and we were really good for each other almost too good and that's why I think this happened. I know we're too young to be in a really serious and committed relationship but everything just felt too right.

I would just like to know if it really was right to let somebody so special who I love so dearly go like that. And I would also like to know if what's possible about the future. I don't want to obsess and wallow I want to move on and have a couple more relationships and have more experience (she was my first). But I honestly feel like that she was the one. It's just we were so good for each other. The only reason that I've come up with is that we broke up because she needs to figure things out and I need more experience. She even stated that this is because of herself more than once.

I don't think you had much choice, she ended the relationship. She is finally growing up and realizing that an education is her priority. You do the same. You have your life ahead of you, so get your education, date others, and she will soon be just a pleasnt memory. Maybe someday, if fate determines it, you will get back together. For now, just be grateful for the great times you had together.

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Originally Posted by beachloverjohn

I don't think you had much choice, she ended the relationship. She is finally growing up and realizing that an education is her priority. You do the same. You have your life ahead of you, so get your education, date others, and she will soon be just a pleasnt memory. Maybe someday, if fate determines it, you will get back together. For now, just be grateful for the great times you had together.

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I never intended to leave college for her. I wanted to get a full masters and get a great job so that I may provide and have a good life. It's just, I don't believe I have what it takes to find another girl or woo said girl. It was really a chance of fate that the two of us met and began dating.

Believe me, you get your education, get a good job, you will have women lined up at your door. You had what it takes to get this girl, it will only get better. Women like a man that has control of his life, knows what he wants, and can take care of them. You will have no problems, trust me.

So do you want her because you don't think you have a chance of getting anyone else?
I think this is probably the best for both of you. You to develop confidence and she to find out who she is and what she wants.
Growing up can be hard but it is something we all do.
You will survive this.

What you have my young friend, is a case of the break up blues, and the good news is, that it is cured over time, by you accepting that the romance is over, and you both have to keep growing, but not with each other.

Its was great while it lasted, and you will have fond memories of this experience for the rest of your life, but you WILL have other great experiences also, in the future, after time has healed the wounds of that first break up.

We all go through the same experience in life, and grow and learn from it, and build a life that we will enjoy, without them. It is what it is, so let her do her thing, without you, and you do yours, without her.

There will be more options, and opportunities for love, and romance, so get your education, and enjoy it. It sucks now, but the bad feelings only last as long as you let them. Welcome to the real adult world.

If you can be friends with her, I think that transcending that divide, between girlfriend and boyfriend, to friends, is a good move.

I get the impression that you are respectful, and mature enough to realize that although it may never be more than a friendship, you would both benefit from being in eachothers lives. That you can accept her as a friend, is only something that time will tell if it will work or not.

I'm also impressed that you realize that you've put her needs first, and that is for her to find her way and her own independence, and not be bitter and resentful about it. That says a lot for you. And, you haven't done the scorned lover thing by texting ad nauseum, emailing, begging, and otherwise making yourself seem very needy and clingy.

So, think of all the positive things that you bring to the table, and all of that, you will bring to the next relationship you have, and they are admirable traits in a man.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Time will heal the hurt of the breakup, and what will hopefully remain will be a solid friendship, and in the meanwhile, another woman will be duly impressed with you, and love will be in your life before you know it.

Thank you all for the nice comments. (: