I tried to handle this situation by myself for months now but it is getting really hard and I don't know what to do.
She was my best friend for years. We got through everything and I can honestly tell we knew each other better than our families or boyfriends. We are born in the same country but living in 2 different parts of the world, we still made it. We talked pretty much every day on the internet, made plans, found ways to meet in other countries, sent each other packages and letters. I'm pretty sure my mother loves her more than she loves me and I always thought of her as my sister.
She is the exact opposite of me. I am constantly looking for adventure, get myself in trouble, buy a plane ticket for a random destination and go settle there for a year or two. She married her first boyfriend and they've been together for 10 years. They bought a house, a car, a dog. The whole deal. We worked our differences and I think I liked her so much because of it.
As some of you know, I had to come back to my parents' house last year and I'm basically stuck here for the moment until I make enough money to move somewhere else. Again, she always wanted to come back here to her native country, I left after my 18th birthday to move to a random destination for the first time. I truly am struggling here after being "free" for 10 years and she knows that.
One night we were talking and she told me she doesn't understand why I don't want to stay, that I should be happy I am living close to my family (eek!) and that she wishes with all her heart that I will find a job I'll love and someone I will be happy with, so I can stay here forever (yes, not my favorite word.) I answered "it has no difference for me than saying I wish with all my heart that everyone you love dies it makes no sense to me" and she hung up on me. I saw the next day that she sent me messages on the internet saying "I know you are there you have to answer me" but I was sleeping (we live in opposite time zones.)
The next day, I answered her. She didn't answer my email. A few days later I saw she deleted me from facebook, she also deleted my mom -who she used to talk to regularly- so I wrote her an email about a week later, saying that I don't regret what I said, but we already know we have different points of view, I told her if she wants to cut all ties we should at least do it the right way and say goodbye, she didn't answer.
A few days ago, I called her. As soon as I said "hi it's me" she hung up on me. I didn't know if she was busy so I called again and left a message, said I miss her but I don't want to bother her, that if she wants me to go away she can just say so... You guessed it, no answer.
Am I delusional? She didn't block me from anything, she just stopped answering me. She gets my emails and messages, I can see her Facebook page and everything. I feel like my ex trying to contact me at all costs, should I give up? Her husband is controlling a big part of her life and sometimes I think he might have told her to stop talking to me if she looked sad after our last conversation... I really don't know and I need your advice. Thank you and sorry for the long post.
